Thursday, July 1, 2010

Boolean Bozoism #20: May 5th-July 1st 2010


Several dozens of more reasons thoughtfully suggested by the non-evil Google as to why I should get the fuck out of blogging:

From the “What the Fuck Are the Odds?” files:
Fat guy in van
nigeria girls to fuck in Nigeria (So they won’t get homesick? Oh, that’s sweet!)
black cock in Nigeria
racists dominate tea party

As usual, it seems half my “readership” doesn’t know what the fuck they’re looking for and Google and Yahoo, by some mysterious process of Boolean Bozoism, deposits them at my doorstep:
jarasifpork (Try not to type my handle if you’re missing your front teeth.)
giurassic pork (…or several neurons less than you need for basic literacy.)
george w bosh wifefuck
jzzhot old parsen viods
urinal cake advertising
cat litters that have gone bankrupt (I told Popeye to invest in Microsoft but did he listen? No-o-o…)
neda bracelet –eating
literary agents in love
afghan male reaction to rejection
what obama mention to my cristal commander
holy ninjas in rio
what happens if i apply a bike loan if my name is there with sebil (And I would know the answer to this… why?)
36 blondes hired by a hitherto obscure Dutch brewer (Believe it or not, this is actually part of a World Cup news story but how they got here is anyone’s guess since, like 99% of Americans, I’ve never once mentioned the World Cup.)
why dose the switsh back and fords the world and why dose mind side back warder
nancy pelosi nude (I know. It makes me shiver and sweat, too, but a retro search brought up this delicious little news item. And you thought the idea of the Speaker of House being nude was disgusting.)
homosexuality in bats (You mean they don’t just suck blood? Oh, shit…)
Since last one month I am suffering from itching my penis. there are some red spots on the head of my penis and rep patch around the neck. (And I am so glad you came to my itchy penis/red patch around the base blog.)
best ways to welcome immigrants into America (Well, this is the GOP’s answer.)
how to find gold behind false wall
What have i learnt about marriage?
neville chamberlain be gone with you (I’m guessing you’re going to summer school now for failing “Current Events” class, am I right?)
what age group is a voice from the grave
the poor are potential criminals (And the rich are highly accomplished ones.)
i can't stand to stay at all
I envisioned i was in the looking into the mirror, to see a little bit clearer been around the world and found only stupid people are reading (“Breeding”, moron, “breeding.” Try, you know, reading once in a while.)
Lost finale liberal dream
CLOWNS PISSED OFF (Oh shit, now we’re fucked…)

God help us if these websites ever become real:
gay university website german website dick cock ass gays picture email (There’s a gay university? Oh, man, I can’t wait to see their football team.)
www.twinks sweet penis.com
ww.fuck me hard whit a big dick.com
www.old man big cock.com
wwwgoogle.com.japanese girl fucking
www.youtube vidio jermanyoung girl sex.com

If Mom doesn’t work out of the home after Dad and the kids leave, how does she spend her day?
"mommy loves cock" (Really, little boy? What kind?)
facebook mothers fucking big black cocks
moms fucking a nigger (So that explains the pimpstick marks…)
youjizz videos mommy fucks black dude after breakfast (That’s why they say it’s the most important meal of the day…)

As always, a large segment of my readership is keenly interested in the current state of race relations:
naked fat black niggers
nigger orgy
naked nigger women
black nigger beware
man nigger cock sucker
need advice on how to arrange for black cocks to fuck my white wife
free clips of online my india wife love nigger cock
stories about wife fucking niggers
my wife is fucking niggers
how many niggers will your wife fuck videos
nigger cock pregnant white wives videos
i watch my dominican wife get fuck by big black dick
preggo niggerfucking
nigger cock loving white bride
dogging my wife to get black baby bred
fild niggars fuck white woman video (Does this noob actually think that slavery was still around when videos were invented?)
black peoples poo (Does it smell worse than white peoples’? On the internet?)
stories of fucking niggers
saskia steele vs a black dick (This Sunday in a steel cage match, live on Pay Per View!)
nigger obam the idiot (Really? Who’s the one who can’t spell a five letter surname?)

And what is this sudden fetish for sweaty African Americans?
music video sweaty black people
JOE IS A SWEATY BLACK
sweaty black backs (Can searches for whip scars be far behind?)

I think that Nigerian porn may be the last big frontier (mind you, this is just a tiny percentage of hits I get that reference Nigeria):
nigerian girls fucking dogs
i want to fuck a nigerian girl
Photos of nigeria gay men fucking
nigerian girls that talks about fucking on facebook
nigeriagayporn
Nigerian chicks fucked doggie with large dick
nigerian movies cock dick
german girl sucking nigerian dick
nigerians fucking coloured girls

Like the idiots at the top, I have no idea what the hell they were looking for but it seems to have something to do with porn:
welcome in fuck world
hairdress client threatening to sue me
mature hairdresser fuck her client youtube (Is that why she’s suing you?)
very thin german cockfuckers
i lov to fuck my mom
i must fuck a big wife
double jointed gay men giving themselves blowjobs
finally found a guy to fuck my ass, but he wants to leave his gizz and B.
youjizz real housewives fucked my yard man
are most women at west suckling penis during fuck
Big cock fuck hard big holl wanen (Let me know what you really want when the numbness in your fingers or brain subsides)
women hung up on dog dick (Women aren’t the ones hung up on it, pal.)
dog must fuck that woman (Fuck, Rex, fuck or no biscuit!)
MONSTER COCK AND SMALL YELLOW WOMAN
big black cocks fucking wee white woman
nigeria girls self workers in larisa
why do women feel like vomiting when bonked by big cock (Something tells me you’ve never had to endure that problem.)
i wonder if indian woman found black cock nice (After the vomiting, I’m sure they did.)
indian girl is brutally fucked by the river
ROdney Dangerfield big dick (“Finally! Some respect!”)
Wonder fuck in labor
vicariously japan fucking hard
fuck my klein sis

And my votes for the three scariest search phrases of the last 2 months:

big pines fucking with little baby (And you thought you knew the Ents…)
my wife fuck very big pines (She must have a very alarmed OB/GYN)
screaming and bleeding old women from monster cocks (And you, sir, are now officially the sickest douchebag in all the 8,000,000,000 known galaxies.)

4 Comments:

At July 1, 2010 at 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I understand quite what you are getting at in this post. Why are these profane phrases connected with your blog?
I understand it has something to do with Google search, but I'm not sure why it's important for us to read them.
Is there a Boolean feedback effect from posting them? Any light you could shed would be appreciated.

 
At July 1, 2010 at 10:06 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

My aim isn't that subtle or complicated. It's only to show the idiocy, racism and perversion of what appears to be half my "readership" and how inappropriate Pottersville is to suit their sick needs.

 
At July 6, 2010 at 11:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"and how inappropriate Pottersville is to suit their sick needs."

And that's why you make sure to re-print their sick search requests?
Well, you know your readers.
Thanks for the explanation.

 
At July 6, 2010 at 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I guess you know which half of the readership to cater to.

 

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