Friday, November 30, 2018

Gotham City Digest, 11/30/18

(In which we promise to never promise you Nazis in Argentina.)

     Here's the money shot: "Trump is staying for only 48 hours because he prefers his own bed and likes to keep his routines, according to The Associated Press." Oh and the Trump crybaby blimp followed him to Buenos Aires. If Trump gains any more weight, we'll no longer be able to distinguish between the two.

     If I'd taken part in this discussion, I would've asked a very good question: "If we can't win any wars, then why are we spending over three quarters of a trillion dollars every year on national defense?"
      Of course, that's a rhetorical question because we already know what the real answer is- Corruption at the highest levels of government in the pay of the MIC.

     So now, the government is warning federal employees to not mention the words "resist" and "impeachment." Fuck the Hatch Act. You ever heard of the First Amendment, assholes?

     Who says the Trump administration's regurgitating talking points when Sarah Sanders is  regurgitating talking points from Russian state TV?

     How ironic is it that the Mystery Writers of America didn't have a clue about Linda Fairstein's deplorable past as the lead prosecutor in the notorious Central Park Five case before making her a Grandmaster?

      Overheard at the G20:
      MBS: "Vlad! Good to see you! Who did you turn into a rotting corpse this week?"
      Putin: "Oh, just a journalist or two. You?"
      MBS: "Oh, same."
      Trump: "He's touching the man I love..."

     The headline: "Teens are now getting drunk on boiled tampon juice." Ladies and gentlemen, our nation's future.

     Poor woman. Seven and a half billion people in the world and Trump is the person she resembles.

     Another reason to love NIN. And Trent Reznor fucked Ted Cruz like an animal.

     So, lemme get this straight- In the eyes of Uncle Sam, rape isn't rape and is, instead, consensual, based on the contractual status of the contractor and whether or not they're in a prison. And under certain conditions, forced sex is actually consensual? If for no other reason, this makes the United States the asshole of the world.

     Of course he shot himself in the groin in the meat department. Where else could it possibly have happened?

     Because nothing says "clean air" like the president walking in front of a bunch of smokestacks vomiting carcinogens.

     Trump thinks he can make inconvenient facts go away simply by ignoring them.
     Ironically, his favorite MSM foil, @CNN, thinks they can do the same by firing Marc Lamont Hill for uttering the fact that Israel violates international law in its genocidal campaign against Palestine.

     Tim Scott, the Senate's only black Republican just said he's voting no on Farr, essentially killing his vote on the floor. Expect Trump to tweet rage with screengrabs from MISSISSIPPI BURNING.

     Breaking: White House is completely staffed with oblivious mouth breathers.

     Yesterday, Pam Geller wannbe Laura Loomer actually wore a Star of David on her coat while handcuffing herself to Twitter HQ's doors. Because being shadowbanned on a social media platform is exactly the same as being kidnapped, robbed, gassed to death with Zyklon B & being incinerated in a gas oven at Auschwitz. I imagine even Alex Jones was laughing at her.
     Two hours later, she surrendered and had to ask the NYPD to use bolt cutters to free her.
     Remind me who the snowflakes are, again?

     While Trump's flailing around blaming and threatening GM for laying off nearly 15,000 workers, Senator Sherrod Brown informs us when he'd spoken with Trump over the phone, he didn't know the tax scam bill he signed into law gives corporations an incentive to offshore American jobs. Again, for clarity's sake- Our nation is being run by an evolutionary dropout.

     Well, well, well, look who else's office Uncle Sam raided yesterday right after Cohen's guilty plea- The guy who handled the Trump Organization's taxes for 12 years. They even papered over the windows.

     So, this is what happened Wednesday night:
     Trump attended the Tree Lighting Ceremony for the National Christmas Tree. Trump looked at his phone, then performed an abrupt vanishing act. He even ditched the protective press pool, which is supposed to be embedded with the president so they can record his movements for history.
     The next day, Michael Cohen pleaded guilty for lying about Russian contacts.

     Yes, Michael Cohen pleaded guilty yesterday... again. But this guilty plea was even more explosive than the first. Yesterday, Cohen admitted he'd lied to Congress about Trump's attempts, through him, to contact Russian officials about the Trump Tower he'd wanted to build in Moscow since the Miss Universe Pageant there in 2013. Obviously, we were never told about this until long after the primaries. And a couple of hours later, Trump told CBS, "I was running my business while campaigning. There was a good chance that I wouldn't have won, in which case I would gotten back into business. And why should I lose lots of opportunities?"
     Boy, for a witch hunt and a hoax, Mueller sure is racking up the guilty pleas and convictions, isn't he?

     Last summer, Rachel Maddow actually cried over the family separations at the border. Now, Nicolle Wallace can't stop laughing at Trump's clusterfuck of an interview. Yes, one way or the other, our mainstream media is reduced to tears by Trump.

     How do you lose $55,000,000 in a year? Well, the NRA found a way, explaining why they shut off the free coffee and water at the HQ. Maybe they should hire more Russian spies to funnel more rubles in.

     So, Margaret Atwood's writing a sequel to The Handmaid's Tale. This is going to be interesting. I can't imagine where she got the inspiration for it.

     This is what we have to resort to- Countering the fake news with the real news during the increasingly rare press conference. MSNBC totally ignored Sanders' first presser in over a month. And finally...

     In your guts, you know he's nuts.

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