Maverick

“There’s never been a bigger maverick in this town than John McCain.” - Rick Davis, John McCain’s presidential campaign manager, to Fox’s Chris Wallace

Maybe he’s calling Paris Hilton too much. Or maybe he’s been accidentally making phone calls to Europe when he falls asleep on his gold-colored cell phone on the campaign trail. Whatever the reason, over 40% of America is about to vote for a sleepy old boob who had to have his cell phone privileges curtailed by those who don’t consider tapioca one of the five food groups.

McCain also can’t keep up with the strain of the campaign trail, even though he seems to have completely forgotten why we’re paying him almost $170,000 a year. I’m sure that Americans working two and three jobs because of McBush’s economic pyramid schemes will be able to sympathize with McCain’s pissing and moaning about not getting his beauty sleep because he’s too busy gadflying Obama with lying attack ads.

Psst, hey, Johnny boy: The presidency doesn’t allow you to punch out at 5 and leave the running of the country to the swing shift manager when you fall asleep hours before Conan O‘Brien.

Since it’s obvious that McCain probably can’t even wipe his own fat, pasty ass, you have to wonder who’s going to be waging these “other wars” on McCain’s behalf.



Oh. Never mind.