Friday, January 30, 2009

Top 10 Bush Executive Orders Labor Wants President Obama to Repeal


Labor leaders were to visit the White House for a second consecutive day Friday, where, a union official said, Obama was to abolish four Bush-era directives that unions opposed... Unions have been lobbying the Obama administration to repeal scores of executive orders they view as hostile to their cause. Officials gave administration officials their top 10 executive orders they wanted to see dismantled quickly. - AP

  • 10) Union and nonunion workers alike are required to burn on the anniversary of his disappearance Jimmy Hoffa's effigy.

  • 9) During union-busting activities, management is allowed to use white phosporous because it is not defined as a chemical weapon.

  • 8) Labor leaders are required to make at least one concession to management for every day of a contract negotiation and must lay prostrate while wearing jester hats and elf shoes.

  • 7) During strikes, hunting season on picketers is to last no more than 30 days (automatic weapons, however, are allowed).

  • 6) Those who cross picket lines to work for less pay than union workers are not to be called "scabs" but instead "fair-haired golden children of management."

  • 5) Union employees during orientation and job training are forced to watch Sylvester Stallone's F.I.S.T. until they drop out of the union.

  • 4) In the event of a labor riot, management and professional union busters are to use no more than two nails per 2 x 4 or baseball bat.

  • 3) Major League Baseball is exempt, 'specially them there Texas Rangers.

  • 2) Nonunion workers can only organize after working hours, off company property and in subterranean catacombs.

  • 1) Wal-Mart and other anti-union companies are allowed to tell workers that collective bargaining has been linked to cancer and AIDS.
  • 4 Comments:

    At January 30, 2009 at 9:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You forgot the bowing and tugging of forelocks. Una

     
    At January 30, 2009 at 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Unions are good for labor and business. All I know is my little Teamster pension is saving my bacon the first of every month, because something weird happened to my 401K, it evaporated.

     
    At January 30, 2009 at 5:41 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Another morning well-wasted...

     
    At January 30, 2009 at 6:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    It was very funny JP. I'm wasted every morning too.

     

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