Monday, February 16, 2009

Don't Let the Door Hit Your Fat Ass on the Way Out

I can't take all the credit, although a shameless, obnoxious attention-seeking blog whore like me easily could. The credit goes to you, people, for reporting Hal's "cesspool of a blog" that's sadly, folding its anti-Arabian tents. Hal, after chewing his keyboard for a bit, eventually proved the validity of the million monkeys/million keyboards theory by producing this long-awaited screed:
I have decided to cease publishing my views, hopes, observations and dreams on issues social, cultural and political. There's much real work to be done - including the use of brutal force and violence - and this endeavor is a waste of time.

Internet Patriots are a lot like Voyeurs; they watch but can't or won't do anything in real life. There's no time left for such useless people or hoping they will grow a pair.

As I undertake the acts that must be done, the rest of you can sit back and watch; after all, that's the only thing you're good for.

Shorter Hal:
If you wanna kill and have it done right, ya gotta do it yourself. You people suck. I thought I could count on you. Gotta go, now, losers. I have white powder to stuff into envelopes and Achoo! Oh shitshitshit!!!!

Hal's also not taking comments, anymore, thereby cruelly stifling the vast hordes of his followers who nonetheless, after nearly a year, weren't able to scrape together enough cash on Hal's Paypal account to get back on the air his shortwave, internet-based radio show that was done out of his mud room.

Well, they may be voyeurs and were vicariously living out their wet dreams of blood-tinged anarchy through Hal. Obviously, being a right wing voyeur can have a downside if you wait for Hal to get off his well-padded ass to actually do something.

Then again, there's an ominous tone to the end of Hal's screed so I think we ought to redouble our efforts to contact state and federal authorities before we have to see newscasts of ATF agents carrying plastic bags of shit out of Turner's fully paid house in North Bergen.

Whoever wants Agent Haug's email address, contact me privately and I'll give it to you.

Also, the Internet is full of Calaises and Casablancas ready to receive scofflaws, ass pirates and general, run of the mill scumbags like Turner. Don't think just because Turner's packing it in here at Blogspot that he'll remain silent for long. Think: Waddle silent, waddle deep. Don't let the fat bastard slither into the tall grass so we forget about him.

In the meantime, take a bow, Pottersvillians. I couldn't have done this by myself. With you all getting my back, we made the Internet a less cruel, stupid and stench-ridden place and all under 48 hours.


At February 16, 2009 at 5:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dang it! Now I'll never get the details on that hell of boiling semen. And I was having such fun harassing Hal and his minions! Anyhow, way to go JP! We just followed, you led the way.

At February 16, 2009 at 5:27 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Personally, I prefer my semen at 98-98.6. Anything more than that is just overkill. Literally for the poor little unborn baby sperms.

This doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep a peeled eye on this fat fuck. He knows where this was coming from. He knows it started here when he started with me.

At February 16, 2009 at 5:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Terry C - Viva La Vida!

At February 16, 2009 at 5:30 PM, Blogger Dr. Know said...

Did a post a year or so ago, and thought of pointing out a few of the issues you mentioned later in your "encounter" with crazy ass Hal Turner, but I'm disinclined to comment much anymore.

But perhaps you pushed this jerk over the edge and he'll either move to Florida and open a children's day care center or end up in Rikers with cellmate Leroy. In this f'in world, either is possible.

At February 16, 2009 at 5:50 PM, Blogger Alicia Morgan said...

Wow. I just took a look at the cesspool. Peee-yew! That looks criminally actionable. Good job, bro.

At February 16, 2009 at 6:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"a shameless, obnoxious attention-seeking blog whore like me"

I didn't see the link on Sadly No either. I posted that same link to this blog in the comments section...

I, too, prefer my semen at body temp. MMmmm!

I have heard that Hal Turner is similar to you, JP, in that he occasionally quits blogging only to start again... So check back often!

At February 16, 2009 at 6:06 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Comrade, I'm tellin' ya, you ever compare me to Hal again, I'll drive up to Vermont and piss all over your maple syrup.

At February 16, 2009 at 7:11 PM, Blogger Bukko Boomeranger said...

Kootenay, the Bible says those vats of boiling semen come from what's been spat out by closeted Republican Congressmen...

At February 16, 2009 at 7:11 PM, Blogger Wayne A. Schneider said...

Congratulations, JP. Glad I could help out in my own small way.

That's one nasty scumbag down, and how many more to go?

To any Hal Turner wannabes out there (including you, Hal, since I'm sure you're reading this), Hate is not the answer.

At February 16, 2009 at 7:24 PM, Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

madame deFarge on seeing another aristocrat beheaded at the guillotine:


At February 16, 2009 at 7:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to go, JP! That was quick work. Now, what can we do about that 'Reverend' who thinks that we're all bad people because we've 'turned away from Jesus'?

Jane E. Schneider

At February 16, 2009 at 7:43 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Uh, right, MB. Translation, please?

Wayne: He ain't gone. And he definitely ain't forgotten. He's just slithered somewhere else. It's up to us to find out where.

I cannot believe that there's someone in the world who actually makes el Rushbo look like a class act by comparison.

At February 16, 2009 at 9:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prochain = next

BOHICA, who doesn't have a blogger account, but has one everywhere else.

At February 16, 2009 at 9:39 PM, Blogger SJohn said...

Yay 'n stuff!

Seriously, good work JP! And I'm glad I followed you over here!

At February 16, 2009 at 10:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let the gnat balled miscreant slither off into the grass. I got a lawn mower.


At February 17, 2009 at 2:21 PM, Blogger Stacy Hackenberg said...

I'm a tad confused. The link you give for Turner's blog not only works but he has a post from today (2/17) on it. And I see not the screed. Am I missing something?

At February 17, 2009 at 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a tad confused. The link you give for Turner's blog not only works but he has a post from today (2/17) on it. And I see not the screed. Am I missing something?

You're not missing anything. It's known as "I didn't write what people said I wrote."

At February 17, 2009 at 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I look forward to seeing more of him. Hopefully on World's Scariest Police Shootouts 15.

At February 17, 2009 at 4:20 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

You'll note that he also threatened me directly... with the skinheads that only yesterday he was railing against for being voyeuristic do-nothings.

He wants war, he's got it.

At February 18, 2009 at 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"we made the Internet a less cruel, stupid and stench-ridden place"

You don't read your own blog, do you?


Post a Comment

<< Home

KindleindaWind, my writing blog.

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #106: The Turkey Has Landed edition
  • #105: Blame it on Paris or Putin edition
  • #104: Make Racism Great Again Also Labor Day edition
  • #103: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Toilet edition
  • #102: Orange is the New Fat edition
  • #101: Electoral College Dropouts edition
  • #100: Centennial of Silliness edition
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger