Monday, July 6, 2009

The Week in Review: Damn the Iceberg, Full Speed Ahead! edition

You know, next to getting drunk and vomiting in the rose bush at your brother in law's BBQ and frying your best friend's face off with illegal pyrotechnics, one of the most cherished traditions of Independence Day is remembering what it really means. It commemorates the day we'd achieved our independence from a tyrannical regime from far away. And this past week’s news was a more effective emetic than a case of Schlitz because while the tyranny of the past 8 years may be a distant dull roar, we're reminded that they're not quite gone and that the GOP will stage their own 1812 comeback in 2012.

So that's why Sarah Palin rounds out the list for quitting as Governor of Alaska and thinking she's keeping secret from us her true ambitions. But she’s in good company with Chuck Grassley and the Family Research Council, people who prove that not all the dinosaurs went extinct 65,000,000 years ago.

In a relatively rare nod to the gay community, President Obama had named as Assistant Deputy Secretary at the Department of Education Kevin Jennings, who has a stellar reputation in education and is the founder of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network). It’s an organization that helps keep schools safe for students both straight and those in the LGBT community.

But according to the Family Research Council, that makes him “a radical homosexual activist.” So, what has the new Assistant Deputy Secretary at the Department of Education for the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools done to incur the wrath of the godly worthies of Tony “Who’s the Girl, Norman?!” Perkins?

He educates students as to the importance of safe sex, teaches anti-bullying techniques that protect all harassed students gay and straight alike and is a devout practicing Christian (he’s the son of a pastor, as a matter of fact.). And that’s the eeeeeeviiiiiil homosexual agenda! Certainly a lot more evil than Jennings' last two predecessors, one of whom being a typical Republican crook who now has a criminal record for lining his own pockets.

So, in their jihad against Jennings, they’ve “proved” their case by lifting quotes from his memoir with no context and even outright fabricating them. They deliberately ignore the “S” in GLSEN and seem to have it in for him simply for advocating on behalf of gay and lesbian students. So, in the FRC's mind, we should just continue allowing people like Perkins' listeners to continue beating up on teh gays so as not to look like "radical homosexual activists."

Hey, Tony: Suck on it.

When pressed at a June 30th town hall meeting by a constituent why his health insurance was so much more expensive yet got less coverage than that enjoyed by Sen. Chuck Grassley, Grassley tried to hem and haw and told the elderly man to “go work for John Deere.” (Which has recently laid off many workers.) When the man pressed Grassley and asked him why he couldn’t get the same health care plan that he has, the Senate Finance Committee’s ranking Republican actually said, “You can. Go work for the federal government.”

I’m sure that many us still remember George W. Bush telling us that health care for all was just a trip to the ER away. I thought that such Republican reductionist thinking was an isolated valley. Obviously, I was wrong.

"I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Limbaugh..."

TIME Magazine noted,
“If her goal is to position herself for higher office, the stagecraft and timing of her announcement left Republicans scratching their heads. The Friday before Independence Day, when media attention is at its lowest, would be a more appropriate moment for a scandal-plagued politician to slink from the national stage.”

Actually, perhaps that’s precisely the reason why Palin chose to “slink from the national stage.” After doing a double-take, Mary Matalin finally recovered and called Sarah Palin quitting as Governor of Alaska after just 32 months in office, “Brilliant.” Meghan Stapleton, her personal spokeswoman, said Palin cutting and running amidst a growing herd of corruption scandals was “a fighter’s move.” Stapleton also said that Palin was going to work “toward affecting positive change as a citizen without a title right now.”

Palin must think the American voter is as stupid as she is if she thinks that she’s keeping her long-range plans secret from anyone. Hillary Clinton didn’t fool anyone about her own presidential ambitions even as she was blowing $47,000,000 protecting her Senate seat from a brain-dead TV judge named Jeanine Pirro.

In the meantime, she’ll always be ready for her closeup, Mr. Limbaugh, and attending one GOP fundraiser after another vacuuming in money from all sorts of PACS and the oil industry while thinking she’s being cagey in saying, “I’m not a presidential candidate” before actually filing papers to that end. But if she thinks her detractors are putting the full court press on her now, what does she think will happen when the 2012 presidential race begins to warm up in a couple of years without her office to shield her from the blue meanies of the lib’ral MSM?


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