Saturday, April 17, 2010

Twenty Bucks, Same as in Town

Did you know that women are so stupid they need men to think for them about medical matters? It's true or so thinks the Missouri state senate, which passed a bill that essentially would stick Missouri government between the legs of women like a dried-out, cracked dildo. Sez Shark Fu, aka Angry Black Bitch:
I’m so tired of being tired of the shit cranked out by my state legislature, y’all just don’t know!

The latest public display that the majority of Missouri legislators think it’s a miracle women have survived this long without their asses guiding our every action and decision is the Missouri Senate’s passage of the 2010 Abortion Restriction Bill.

Sounds like a bitch needs to start slapping someone back.

In a little over a week, the Sheriff may come knocking on my sister Alicia's door to kick out her and her family and I've been pleading for people to spread the word about her war with OneWest, the consortium that took over IndyMac last year. I've been crossposting my original piece on her situation and it's resulted in some damned ignorant musings from people who had somehow gotten it into their heads that Alicia's husband took out a $400,000 loan and paid back only $63,000 of it. This resulted in a pretty impassioned and eloquent rejoinder from my sister in arms and it's definitely a must-read. It's an invaluable look into what it means to be a professional artist and the risks entailed in pursuing that lifestyle for the love of your craft and art.

Hey, kiddies, SpongeBobCrackWhore sez:
Meet Michael S. Jeffries, chairman and CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch.

"Uh...Mr. CEO...dude...our business is in the shitter because of your lousy management so we need you to stop using the corporate jet to fly all over the damn place for free, mmmmkay?"

"Sure, whatever. Gimme 4 million bucks up front plus 200 grand a year to pay for travel expenses."

"Well, we're already payin' ya 71 million a year but that sounds fair. Here ya go."

Holy fucking shit! No wonder these ass-clowns want 90 bucks for a fucking pair of pants.

That's right. Abercrombie and Fitch, a company that's tanked so badly because of Jefferies' management decisions they made last year a grand total of $254,000 in profit (you read that right: Just over a quarter of a million bucks in profit), thinks nothing of paying a guy already making $71,000,000 a year an additional 4 million more when they limited his personal travel expenses to a mere $200,000 a year.

I seem to recall that Jimi Hendrix's first manager was named Michael Jeffery. He died in 1973 in a mid air collision over France.

Maybe déjà vu will work with us for a change. Just in passing, who the hell does Jefferies' collagen injections? Stevie Wonder?

I'll just let the Rude Pundit do his own talking in his post, "Ten Lowest-Polling Tea Party Action Items." Here's a sample from his Bottom Ten List:
1. Check spelling.

2. Eat a salad every now and then.

Amen, Brother.

Rounding out the list, God is For Suckers made a priceless catch yesterday when they found out the Holy Fuhrer, Pope Boris Karloff, took a sabbatical from shielding diddlers o' little boys to forgive the Beatles. Excuse me? What did the Beatles do that would require forgiveness after nearly a half century?
According to the UK Telegraph, “the Church dismisses previous moral outrages including blasphemous remarks, drug taking and even the dissemination of Satanic messages through their music.”

“Blasphemous remarks” is a reference to John’s comment that the Beatles were “bigger than Jesus.” Of course, he was right — they were bigger than Jesus. When was the last time you saw a sea of screaming, crying girls pulling their own hair over the Prince of Peace? Was Jesus on The Ed Sullivan Show? No. Jugglers? Check. Acrobats? Check. Magicians? Check. A talking mouse? Check. Jesus? Um … afraid not.

Priorities, people, priorities.


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