Friday, May 7, 2010

Boolean Bozoism #19: April 4-May 4, 2010


Yes, once again it’s time for that self-flagellating ritual when I remind my readers and myself where half my readership comes from through the wonderful, arcane world of Boolean Bozoism. I only wish to God I could say I was making up these search phrases. To wit- those who obviously have way too much time on their hands and too little on their minds, starting with those who think Google is some magical 8 ball that’ll answer their most insoluble questions:

Is war still a racket (No, all the war profiteers came to their senses and were shamed by what Eisenhower said about them 50 years ago.)
What have i learnt about marriage?
i cant stand heat whats wrong with me? (Either you’re from a state with a colder clime, are hypersensitive to climate change or are a Republican.)
am I a self loathing gay? (Are you a Log Cabin Republican? Do you get teary-eyed seeing cardboard cutouts of Bush? Then the answer is yes.)
what does Edmond have to do keep from laughing at the beinginning of lww
Hey, how're ya doin rod Blagojevich (He’ll tell you for $500.)

Then there are the clowns whose minds I, thankfully, cannot fathom:
"western state university college of law" sucks
a yellow dog name martha
wonderful fucking in net café
i fucked my dog 2010
green eggs and ham second grade homosexuality parody
LARRY CRAIG DECEASED IN CALIFORNIA (And he was buried with full honors, including a 21 tap salute.)
dildo legislative bill introduced by Jan Brewer, AZ
are people with money above the law (DUH.)
Preggo translater (Pregnant women speak a different language but say only two things: “I need to pee” and “I want Chinese food now!”)
what is the difference between a bigot and a patriot (A patriot supports his country, everyone in it and generally has better spelling and less obesity issues.)
rage against the poo face
alabama and "child molester" and "robert crawford" (Excuse me?!)
pics of mad and funny ladies with hats
republican parade schedule 2010
mickey mouse is soulless
stupid douchebags named George (Don’t tell me you really need Google’s help with this one?)
Castro AKA Supreme Takes back his fuckin' glory
fuck up catholic cover
republicans are fucking cocksuckers (Then I suggest they stop fucking them ASAP.)
ed sullivan ip address finder

Then, of course, there are the well-informed detractors of the president:
where does obama come from (Gimme an “H”! Gimme an “A”! Gimme a “W”! Gimme an “A”! Gimme an “I”! Gimme another “I”! What’s that spell? KENYA! Fucking morons.)
blame bush verses the facts (So if we put the facts to verse, will you start blaming Bush then?”)
oabma blaming bush for vaolcano (Nao he’s Naot, Maoron.)
obama the corporate cock sucker

I think my whiter readers have hit upon a new economic opportunity for impoverished Nigeria:
Nigerian girls fuckin big dick
nigerian cocksuckers
nigeria gay fucker
www.google find d must fuck gril in nigeria

Then there are those fine, family values patriots whose scope is a little more eclectic:
indian mets mandingo´s african cock
niggers fucking big tit white women utube
stories about nigger cock fuckers
hairy haitian woman fucking
fucking black dicks in anchorage
FUCING WITE WOMEN WITH BLACK BIG PINES
men with skimasks fuck black girl

…as well as those randy souls who aren’t as hung up on race:
ants on tits torture
Sinewy Girl Takes Top Position And Brutally Fucks Boy
youjizz can survive bigcock
Monsterpenis ficks old women (I wonder if he meant to say “Fucks” or “Fix”?)
retired old woman likes monster cock (Says, “It’s more spiritually rewarding than knitting.”)
childcock pictures
porkdick fuck
fuck sister amarikin solders
jesus fucking some gal
+story +two +hugh +cocks +fuck +wife (…equals one loser with too much time on his hands.)
Welcome Back Fucking (Yeah, didn’t that suck when the GOP-led Congress enacted a Prohibition on sex?)
vicariously japan fucking hard

Thankfully, Welcome Back to Pottersville remains the internet’s top go-to place for all things relating to cocksuckery:
obese gay cocksucker
black tyranny cocksucking
fucking islamic cocksuckers

Ever wonder what happens at home after Hubby goes to work and Junior goes to school?

stories of mom fucking niggers and dogs
Hot moms fucking black laborers
mom fucks black dude after breakfast-youjizz
WIFES FUCKING NIGGERS
my wife loves black cock.com

And my five candidates for the most shit-inducing search phrases for the month are…
men skinning back their dicks
ballgagged woman treated as a dog
young jizz hut in which blood in coming from women
hideous kinky video
www. i lov to fuck my sis.com

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