Friday, September 10, 2010

Top Ten Reasons Terry Jones Postponed his Koran Burning.

After exhorting his followers on his Facebook page to burn a Quran on September 11th, the Reverend Terry Jones of Gainesville, Florida has decided to postpone if not cancel the event. The Rev. Jones cited a deal being reached with the Park51 authorities as the reason why he has suspended the burning of the Muslim holy book yet no one associated with the Park51 project had ever heard of such a deal. What were the top ten real reasons for Rev. Jones to suspend the burning of the Koran?

  • 10) Monty Python's Terry Jones protested it would make the British comedy troupe look silly by association.

  • 9) It would rob fellow conservative Ted Bundy of his notorious association with Gainesville.

  • 8) Jones & Co. decided a more respectful way to observe September 11th is to hold a pig roast at a mosque.

  • 7) Followers constantly confused as whether to burn a Koran or a Quran.

  • 6) Rev. Jones afraid of singeing his Fu Manchu moustache that gets him "shitloads of pussy at the local bars, dude."

  • 5) Deal breaker in negotiations was Imam Muhammad Musri's insistence on using Sam Walton's autobiography and the Rev. Franklin Graham as kindling.

  • 4) Republicans couldn't find enough adults to supervise bonfire.

  • 3) Not enough Gainesville homosexuals willing to allow themselves to be used as sacrificial virgins.

  • 2) Rev. Jones still not permitted by his therapist to play with matches after another incident involving the Christian Science Monitor and its refusal to publish his pornographic limericks.

  • 1) Evangelicals and Republicans have yet to discover, invent or steal the secret for making fire.

    At September 10, 2010 at 5:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Here's a little something it looks like the rev is either head wall street or the big house and it not in the sky.

    At September 11, 2010 at 11:13 AM, Blogger Fearguth said...

    I own a movie about reason #1: The Quest for Fire.

    At September 11, 2010 at 12:52 PM, Anonymous Thot U should kno said...

    Here's something you'll find amusing, JP: Did you know that Terry Jones went to high school with Druggy Limbaugh? I might have to start feeling the same disgust for Missouri that I do for Texas. But at least in Texas they have good food!

    At September 6, 2012 at 10:39 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

    I truly don't understand the whole up roar over burning this book. look at the mid east and them burning the American Flag and the Bible, does anyone get worked up over who cares about this book...besides that this guy bought and paid for this book, so its his. last I knew whats his is his....right....

    At September 6, 2012 at 10:54 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Let me help you understand the uproar, then: It's about religious tolerance, respect for the beliefs of other people. I'm an atheist and I understand that. This nation was largely founded in a quest for religious tolerance, to escape religious persecution. I'd like to know what your thoughts would be if the Bible was burned. Oh, wait, you already made them known. Tit for tat. Doesn't feel good, does it?

    At September 6, 2012 at 10:59 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

    no honey that's not what I meant. I meant this is a free country and he can do what ever he wants with that book of the bible if you own the book, you have the right to do whatever you want with it....Now if that book belonged to you or someone else and he burned it, then yes he should get punished
    its called FREEDOM

    At September 6, 2012 at 12:48 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Sorry, Mona, I respectfully disagree and burning a Koran or any holy book (considering how touchy religion historically is for humans) is like yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater. How much worse is it if you set fire to that theater by expressing religious intolerance?

    Freedom is not a literal, all-inclusive concept nor should it ever be. By your apparent rubric, we ought to be free to kill each other with impunity. There are some pretty broad guidelines as to what we should and shouldn't be free to, although Supreme Courts both past and present seem bound and determined to expand the definition of free speech (E. G. Burning the flag, Citizen's United, etc).

    Some things shouldn't be allowed, especially if it sets dangerous legal precedents for more intolerant hate speech or the perversion of the first amendment. Burning a Holy Book, such as our troops burning a Koran, which actually resulted in countless deaths during protests in Afghanistan last year, should be outlawed as hate speech. If hatred and intolerance can be labeled free speech, it can also be labeled as illegal hate speech.

    At September 6, 2012 at 2:25 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

    I still will say its a book, the bible is a book (which I have read) I am mother with two boys and I have always told them. You can do what ever you wish to do, as long as your willing to face the with saying that. The person that burnt the Koran faced the consequence of his actions. But, I will still say that it is his to with what he so chooses. whether its about religion or something else...he problem was that he made it public. which was stupid. he wanted to do exactly what he caused it to do. Stir the pot. Am so surprised so many intelligent people paid any attention to it, its like in the middle east the muslims or whoever burning the flag, or the bible. Truthfully who cares...what we should do as a nation is remember who does this to our flag and bible and not give them any more money...that would be their consequence...

    At September 6, 2012 at 3:09 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    If Jones had done this privately (Actually, he had but then was stupid enough to videotape it then allowed that tape to reach the internet), I wouldn't've had a problem with that. But he wanted to this publicly, to send a message of intolerance. That's what I have a problem with. It's not about freedom, as you seem to suggest. The real issue here is an unwillingness to accept responsibility for actions, especially those we can't always control. Once you throw that stone in the water, you can't stop those ripples from spreading outwards.


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