Friday, August 12, 2011

Dear Phil Hinkle

Dear Rep. Phil Hinkle:

I have read with some consternation your recent difficulties regarding a barely-legal male hooker of 18. Naturally, this is the sort of thing the sex-obsessed left wing latches onto like a Notre Dame twink does cock at his first gay Spring Break at Ft. Lauderdale.

Indeed, can you or anyone tell me where the hell is the hypocrisy in opposing the scourge of gay marriage when a married, Christian legislator who ran, and votes, on a family values platform seeks to relieve some stress by trolling for gay sex on Indiana Craigslist? Indeed, you said in your polite, introductory email, "Cannot be a long time sugar daddy but can for tonight. Would you be interested in keeping me company for a while tonight?"

I can't speak for anyone else, sir, but that does not sound like anything remotely resembling long term or anything as committed as, say, a marriage of several decades.

Far from being pilloried by liberals as a hypocritical, self-loathing, elderly gay Republican scumbag who plainly made the wrong choice in life partners, Americans from coast to coast should be lauding you for letting it all hang out like US Rep. Anthony Weiner and to embrace the free market system as that espoused by your wouldbe companion-for-hire. Indeed, at a time when many Republicans are soliciting for gay sex in toilets from Minnesota to New Orleans, you should be commended for being the man of sophistication that you are in arranging for a tryst at a posh hotel.

Liberals and gay rights activists are making hay over the fact that you tried to "bribe" the fearful child and his sister by giving them your iPad, Blackberry and $100 in cash in return for their silence so that your preemptive Christmas gift-giving to the poor and needy wouldn't be leaked to the press and misinterpreted as your bragging about your inherent St. Nickelodeon-like generosity.

And if you were such a bad husband, why would your wife make the extraordinary gesture of offering the boy's sister $10,000 to keep your generosity and magnanimity quiet? If only we all had wives who'd be willing to safeguard our most cherished secrets! And what better way to hide one's tender magnanimity than to claim to be the victim of "a shakedown"?

Indeed, sir, we ought to be giving you a citation signed by former Sen. Larry Craig and former Congressman Mark Foley applauding you for standing tall (and naked) against gay marriage, for the free market system and supporting Indiana's faltering economy by bolstering the hospitality and condom industries!

Your humble and obedient servant,



At August 12, 2011 at 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At August 12, 2011 at 4:39 PM, Blogger D. said...


I miss all the good stuff!

At August 13, 2011 at 7:07 AM, Blogger Zarathustra said...

Giggle, giggle...........


Post a Comment

<< Home

KindleindaWind, my writing blog.

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #106: The Turkey Has Landed edition
  • #105: Blame it on Paris or Putin edition
  • #104: Make Racism Great Again Also Labor Day edition
  • #103: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Toilet edition
  • #102: Orange is the New Fat edition
  • #101: Electoral College Dropouts edition
  • #100: Centennial of Silliness edition
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger