Sunday, September 11, 2011

Top Ten Ways Americans Will Observe the 10th Anniversary of 9/11

Today is the tenth anniversary of the most horrific attack on American soil. On September 11th, 2001, four planes crashed into both towers of the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Shanksville, PA. A recent poll asked thousands of Americans how they will observe the 10th anniversary of a series of attacks that claimed the lives of nearly 3000 people. What are the top 10 answers?

  • 10) Hoping for some 9/11 nookie by crying in front of girls at somber candlelit ceremony.

  • 9) Distending our waistlines with dead, barbecued animals as long as beer cans are clinked together at least once to remember the victims.

  • 8) Being extra hypervigilant of anyone wearing cloth on their heads, including that black guy down the street with the 'do rag.

  • 7) Watching bands, choirs, military honor guards and giant flags before baseball games and players chewing gum, spitting and scratching their crotches.

  • 6) Shouting at the television, "Fuck you, bin Laden!"

  • 5) Listening to Alex Jones podcasts about how the Pentagon wasn't struck by a hijacked plane but the Bilderberg Group in the name of the New World Order.

  • 4) Planning on voting for the Republican presidential candidate who looks the least guilty over 9/11.

  • 3) Nothing. Saddam's dead. We've defeated terrorism. Can't we just move on and pretend like nothing's changed?

  • 2) Watching news file footage of the planes hitting the north and south towers and hoping that, for once, they'll miss.

  • 1) Thanking God, Bush and Cheney that we're still the land of the free and the home of the brave between terror alerts and having our privacy invaded by stadium security, Homeland Security, the TSA, NSA and local, state and federal law enforcement.

    At September 11, 2011 at 11:12 AM, Anonymous Comrade Rutherford said...

    Ignoring the whole damned porn spectacle our media has made it into and try not to have anxiety attacks every time you open a webpage and see a photo the towers exploding at the top of the page.

    I was on 6th Ave at 16th street, I saw the whole thing with my own eyes. The ones out there making a huge spectacle of it are the ones that didn't see it.

    It's like war, if you were a front-line infantryman, you've had enough, but if you never went, you still believe that war is glorious. (Go watch 'All Quiet On The Western Front for Lew Ayers' great speech on the 'glory' of war.)

    I can't wait for tomorrow when the US News Media will turn it's Sauron eye away from 9/11 porn.

    At September 12, 2011 at 9:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Or a real memorial: a US Occam's Razor fight with the Bush Regime perps!

    At September 13, 2011 at 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The hoopla over last weekend was enough to cause nausea to most any critical thinker. The planned events were nothing shy of nonsense and propaganda, but they did serve a purpose. That purpose of course was to continue to advance nationalism and state worship. Everywhere one looked, every television channel, every sporting event, and every parade, the talking heads were spewing lies and waving flags. The remembrance of that day was evangelical in nature. It was banner day for politicians, as they un-abashedly practiced false patriotism and swam in a cesspool of self-interest. War was celebrated and continued war was justified. Every event of this nature serves to promote more killing than anything else, and never serves as a time to question, as it rightly should. Tempers flared, and hatred reigned among the masses, while the innocent people in war-torn countries in the Middle East now being destroyed by the U.S. government and its minions in the military continue to live in fear. Live in fear they must, as the unholy prosecution of unjust war by the largest imperial force on earth is upon them.

    At September 13, 2011 at 2:40 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Last Anon: I cannot argue with a single thing you said but allow me to pile on by reminding you of Bill Keller's so-called apology for waving the flag and beating the war drums nine years ago when we were about to smash Iraq. At no point did Keller, in his self-absorbed ersatz apology mention the real number of the Iraqis who were killed nor the very basic fact that the invasion and occupation was the most egregious of war crimes that are punishable by death.

    For being wrong about Iraq, he was promoted to the NY Times' Executive Editor, probably the most prestigious post in all US journalism and neither he nor his fellow drum beaters suffered one one millionth the persecution that the late Gary Webb had endured for actually doing his job. In other words, Keller and his fellow drum-beaters failed upwards like the man he'd hired, Bill Kristol.


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