Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Willard's Not So Excellent Adventure

So last night there was a three state primary, essentially a three state killing spree of the second inevitable nomination of Willard Romney, a man who more resembles a Stepford born-and-bred game show host than an actual president. Santorum's foamy surge across three completely different states was, or should be, a wakeup call to the Romney campaign: The more you talk, the more you're hated.

And while the Santorum/Savonarola ticket was busy strapping Mitt Romney to the roof of Ricky Retardo's tour bus, several things were made apparent. I give you Charles Pierce, the Jonathan Swift of Esquire:
Willard didn't win a single county in Missouri. He finished 30-odd points behind where he finished in Colorado in 2008. He finished third in Minnesota.

Now, would Santorum have gone three for three last night if there was even one delegate on the line? Hard to say but when one looks at those bruising facts, you have to wonder. Plus, Romney's horse race with Obama in the most recent polls is looking a lot less like a photo finish and more like a Secretariat race with Obama as Secretariat. Up until a week ago, Romney was virtually neck and neck with the President: Now in some polls (ABC/Reuters, IPSOS/WaPo and, surprisingly, Rasmussen), Romney is down by 7 or more points.

The eventual Republican nominee, as many of us know, needs 1144 delegates to win his party's nomination. As of right now, with many of the primaries and caucuses behind us, Mitt Romney still has just 107 or less than 10% of what he needs. Gingrich has 32 and Santorum's quietly squirreled away 45. (Ron Paul, who actually finished second ahead of Romney in Minnesota last night, has 9.)

In just his second and thus far last primary victory four days ago, Romney won by grabbing just over 50% of the vote and the self-congratulatory press was crowing about how they were right all along and how badly Gingrich got crushed like an overused Dixie cup. Conveniently glossed over was that his 50% win still totaled just 16,486 votes cast for him in all of Nevada, which is a little over half of the people that voted for Christine O'Donnell in tiny Delaware's GOP Senate primary in 2010.

It's hard to imagine, while we munch popcorn and jeeringly wave giant red, white and blue foam fingers at the fiery wreckage of a second Willard presidential run, why Romney is still in the race. Time and again in all but two contests and despite buying political endorsements from local Republicans, the states are telling Romney, "We don't like you!" Like Gingrich, about the only thing Willard has going for him are a couple of billionaire scumbags bankrolling his campaign.

Say what you want about Republicans and the mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging Goobers who vote for them: The earthy Sarah Palin has charm and charisma and connected with blue collar conservatives and evangelicals. George W. Bush had connected with the same people for the same reasons. Facts and erudition be damned but charm and charisma, some semblance of humanity, is still needed no matter how rich a man is or how many billionaires shovel post-Citizen's United money at their feet.

Willard Romney, who likely smells like a bank vault right after a delivery from the mint, is like something out of a political Issac Asimov novel, a poor robot trying to muscle in on territory best suited for humans but, no matter how remarkably life-like he is, never quite wins over the meat bags who still crave something human.


At February 8, 2012 at 11:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Ricky Retardo" : Grate REFRAME; keep those fundaments FROTHING!

At February 8, 2012 at 9:27 PM, Blogger Jill said...

I'm almost willing to put money on a brokered convention from which either Mitch Daniels or Jeb Bush emerges as a drafted nominee.

At February 8, 2012 at 9:32 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

I wonder if we'd have to pay the brokerage fee to W for drafting his brother? I can see him swinging that.

At February 8, 2012 at 9:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the reason for the intentional Obamanable FAIL; he's Bush-diving for Poppy. The JEB Is UP!

At February 9, 2012 at 4:24 PM, Anonymous Dee in NJ said...

Dream on. Jeb doesn't want the job. They'd have to drag him kicking and screaming to it. If Mama Bush can't make him do it, no amount of promises from the Rethug party will bring him out of hiding anytime soon.

At February 10, 2012 at 1:20 AM, Blogger Bukko Canukko said...

Thanks for introducing me to Charles Pierce via your blogroll, JP. That guy is venomous and prolific! Because it's too hard to type his web address into any of the computers at work, I usually just hit your site and click his link from your sidebar. You're my springboard, mate.

As far as the hopeless Refucklicans go, the Rombot's inevitable nomination serves a wonderful corporate purpose. Hopey is the perfect candidate of the 1%. He does their bidding, but Obama doesn't look abatshitley crazy while doing so. And when the "R" faction nominates a "libral" candidate who gets thumped, that will add fervour to the reich-wing base to demand an even MORE reactionary standard-bearer in 2016. (By which time the United States might have collapsed economically anyway.) This will push the Overton Window further toward fascism, dragging a willing Obama along with it.

So even though Mittdroid will ostensibly lose this year, his corpo peeps will win the vector they want the country to take, with the aid of their wolf dressed as a black sheep in the White House.

At February 10, 2012 at 9:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEE, as Ben Karol's dad said of the '29 crash, "You'll see"; same with JEB.


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