Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Top 10 Ways to Tell The Boston Red Sox Are Finished

As of today, the Boston Red Sox are 13 games out of first place, four games under .500 and seven games out of the expanded wild card race. In their first season under manager Bobby Valentine, the Red Sox are having their most horrible season in nearly two decades and the press and fans alike are getting unmistakable indications the Red Sox are washed up for the year. What are the top 10 clues the Red Sox are done for the 2012 campaign?

  • 10) "Sweet Caroline" replaced at Fenway Park during 7th inning stretch with 5 minutes of prayer.

  • 9) Jerry Remy caught last night trying to sneak through Logan Airport for his annual Aruba vacation.

  • 8) Bobby Valentine already wearing civvies in the dugout by the 8th inning.

  • 7) Don Orsillo sending out resumes to YES.

  • 6) Fans heckling the peanut vendors.

  • 5) Neil Diamond booed during 7th inning stretch.

  • 4) Mookie Wilson & Bill Buckner to throw out the first pitch tonight.

  • 3) Bullpen starts warming up during the National Anthem.

  • 2) Bobby Valentine overheard calling Terry Francona in the booth for tips during ESPN games.

  • 1) In last series against the Yankees, Josh Beckett observed drinking beer and eating Chick-Fil-A... while on the mound.

    At August 22, 2012 at 9:25 AM, Blogger Mithras61 said...

    Dude, you'll get no baseball sympathy from me. The Astros are dead last at 39-84 (.317). I mean, even the Cubs are better than we are this year...

    At August 22, 2012 at 9:50 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Consider one thing, dude: Your former manager was Brad Mills, former Red Sox bench coach under Terry Francona. Yeah, we're actually communicable.

    At August 22, 2012 at 10:30 AM, Blogger Mithras61 said...

    That's actually kinda scary. Hopefully it isn't something that's passed on to the next manager (hey, Astros actually USED to be pretty decent).

    At August 22, 2012 at 3:18 PM, Anonymous Dee in NJ said...

    Listen, I'm a long suffering Kansas City Royals fan, so cry me a river. My team has sucked for years. One or two bad years won't kill you.

    At August 22, 2012 at 3:36 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Does it sound as if I'm crying, guys? Seriously. I mean this in as vicious a way as I can put it.


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