Friday, June 26, 2015

Meanwhile, on Fox "News..."

(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari Goldstein)
"If you are among the many Americans—of whatever sexual orientation—who favor expanding same-sex marriage, by all means celebrate today's decision... But do not celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it."  - Chief Justice John Roberts, forgetting the 14th Amendment, 6/26/15

      Peeps, we've hit the liberal Trifecta. The grandaddy of all liberal lotteries. And it'll be a while before we enjoy another week this great. But for now, we should celebrate, dance in the streets, sing every show tune we know, gloat in the face of your least favorite ultraconservative neighbor or relative. I've even ordered a rainbow flag to fly outside our house. Suck the schadenfreude right down to the marrow until the bone whistles and drink this delicious dram to the lees. We have finally been delivered to the Promised Land and above it, smartly flapping, is a rainbow freak flag.
     The much-reviled Confederate flag's being taken down and pulled off real and online shelves.
     Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Affordable Care Act. Again.
     And, just hours ago, that same High Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges against state gay marriage bans, meaning gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states. It took us a while to catch up to our Canadian neighbors but better to be fashionably late than never arriving at all.
     Typically, the court split along party lines that shouldn't ever exist on any impartial judicial panel, especially with our activist conservative justices and Chief Justice. Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, Kagan and the surprising swing vote coming from the usually conservative-leaning Justice Anthony Kennedy finally put the kibosh on the remaining marriage bans.
     In the minority dissent, Clarence Thomas wordlessly farted. Scalia gargled on his own bile and began screaming about apple sauce. It's not even worth recording for posterity what Chief Justice Roberts said. But what The Other Usual Suspect Sam Alito said has to be read to be believed.
     "Why not marry four men at once instead of just two?"
     In channeling Rick Santorum, he came thisclose to going all Man on Dog.
     Remind me who the activist judges are, now?

And Sometimes, Good Things Come in Threes
     While it may have taken a national tragedy in the Charleston church shooting, it led to a rapid chain of events that saw the confederate flag withstanding renewed hostility fueled by the engine of social media. This led to SC Governor Nikki "I shamelessly use tokens" Haley and Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Closet) to stand on the steps of the SC state capitol to ask the legislature to remove the confederate flag that still flew at full mast days after the shooting. This in turn led to protests demanding the stars and bars be taken down for good in other southern states.
     And then, in the unkindest cuts of all, major corporations such as Walmart, Sears, eBay, Amazon and Apple have stopped selling the treasonous flag as well as many products featuring them. Of course, these decisions made in our nation's biggest board rooms have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with making the right and moral decisions, even in the interests of political correctness, as it is in preemptively forestalling boycotts to protect their bottom lines. But whatever it takes, it takes.
     Then yesterday, the High Court supported, again, the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act by saying federal subsidies are legal in states while in the background Clarence Thomas farted in dissent some more and Scalia argle-bargled about apple sauce.
     And then, today came on an invisible rainbow, a transsexual Venus with a penis lowered on a psychodelic clam shell courtesy of Warhol paying homage to Botticelli.
Of All the Gay Bars in All the World...
       Today should be made into an unofficial holiday and we should call it ME Day. Marriage Equality Day. And someone should curate the hashtag #MEDAY. Because I don't think today's decision has sunk in all the way among my people (And, no, Andrew Sullivan making a clotted comeback doesn't count).
     To quote Vice President Joe Biden (more on him later), This is so fucking cool, not to mention historic. The schadenfreude factor needs to be acknowledged, sure. What gives the liberal soul more savage glee than imagining gay weddings taking place on the steps of the Texas state capital in Austin or in Kansas under Sam Brownback's clenched nose?
     But on a more fundamental level, it's a boon for LGBT Civil Rights and equal marriage rights for all Americans and 46 years almost to the day after the Stonewall riots in Greenwich Village put gay rights on the map along with civil rights and women's liberation.
     I'm proudest to be a resident of Massachusetts because the slow climb to gay marriage nationalization began, as with the Revolutionary War, right here in the Bay State. With the Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health State Supreme Court ruling in 2003, marriage equality finally became a reality in a nation in which we were told that every man was created equal and invested with certain inalienable rights.
     By 2010, only five states had gay marriage.
     Five years later? 50.
     Yesterday: Ireland. Today: The United States of America. Tomorrow: The rest of the planet earth.
     And, thanks to Jill Biden's tweet this morning, we were treated to the image of VP Joe Biden running through the halls of the White House with a rainbow flag tied around his neck like a cape, no doubt with that look that Hunter S. Thompson once described as "a rabid weasel on speed."
     And I will end this post celebrating a momentous day for gay rights by reminding my readers, many of whom thanking President Obama for today's ruling, that Joe Biden needs to be thanked first. (It is true, this ruling underscores the need for liberals to vote. No Obama, no Sotomayor, No Kagan. No ACA. No gay marriage from coast to coast. I give credit where it's due.)
     But liberals also have selective memories and only a mnemonic savant such as me would remember that in 2008 and for a few years thereafter, Obama was quietly but staunchly against gay marriage. It was only after Joe Biden publicly came out in favor of marriage equality did the Obamas finally hop on the good bandwagon and begin publicly supporting gay rights. Essentially, it was perhaps the only time in US history when the President moved to support his Vice President.
     So thank you, Mr. Vice President. I also give credit due where it's due first.
     And I have to leave with this rhetorical question:
     Civil Rights.
     Minimum Wage.
     Social Security.
     Medicare and Medicaid.
     Gay Marriage.
     When will right wing nut jobs finally tire of being on the wrong side of history every single, blessed time?
     And why is our government still filled to the brim with these losers?

Labels: , , , ,


At June 27, 2015 at 11:38 PM, Blogger MJ said...

Show tunes?
"You've got to be taught
Before it's too late.
Before you are six
or seven or eight..."

Or how about
"Poor Jud is dead, poor Jud Fry is dead..."
I don't think I have a real good grip on what show tunes are about.

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain...'

At June 29, 2015 at 2:58 PM, Anonymous CC said...

The Stars and Bars is actually what Georgia's current flag resembles and was one of the Confederacy's official flags.

I believe you meant to refer to the Confederate Battle Flag with its X-pattern as the centerpiece.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

KindleindaWind, my writing blog.

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #106: The Turkey Has Landed edition
  • #105: Blame it on Paris or Putin edition
  • #104: Make Racism Great Again Also Labor Day edition
  • #103: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Toilet edition
  • #102: Orange is the New Fat edition
  • #101: Electoral College Dropouts edition
  • #100: Centennial of Silliness edition
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Top 10 Things Donald Trump Said to President Obama
  • Paul Ryan's Top Ten Conditions on Running for the Speakership
  • Top 10 Reasons Why Mitt Romney Won't Run for President in 2016
  • Top 10 Results of the NYPD's Work Slowdown
  • Top 10 Secret Service Security Breaches
  • Top 10 LA Radio Shows That Are Rated Higher Than Rush Limbaugh's
  • Top 10 Reasons Operation American Spring Went Flat
  • Top Ten Facts of the MH370 Air Disaster
  • Top 10 Tips for GOP Congressmen Running Against Women
  • Top 10 Signs Walmart's Mistreating its Workers
  • Top 10 Diversions John McCain Found During Syria Hearing
  • Top 10 George Zimmerman Excuses for Speeding.
  • Top 10 Reasons Paula Deen Got Fired by the Food Network
  • Top Ten Ways Pope Francis is Deviating From Convention
  • Top 10 Reasons For the Pope's Resignation
  • Top 10 Emails Hacked From the Bush Family's Email Accounts
  • Top 10 Lies Told by Mitt Romney at the 2nd Debate.
  • Top 10 Examples of How Hard the Campaign Trail is on Ann D. Romney.
  • Top 10 Ways to Tell The Boston Red Sox Are Finished.
  • Top 10 Things Mitt May be Hiding in His Tax Returns.
  • Top 10 Events at the Romney Olympics.
  • Mitt Romney's Top 10 Wild & Crazy Moments.
  • Top Ten Reasons Why Dick Cheney Got a Heart Transplant.
  • Top 10 Facts About Tonight's New England/Denver Game.
  • My Top 10 Resolutions.
  • Top 10 Rejected Slogans of the Romney Campaign.
  • Top 10 Reasons Herman Cain Suspended His Campaign.
  • Top 10 Trending Topics on Twitter During #OWS Eviction.
  • Top 10 Herman Cain Pickup Lines.
  • Top 10 Changes Since Anthony Weiner Decided to Resign.
  • Top 10 Inaccuracies re bin Laden's Death.
  • Top 10 Ways to Prevent a TSA Patdown.
  • Top Ten Things Not to Say When You're Pulled Over.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Bowed Out of the Presidential Race.
  • Top 10 Ways Evangelicals Will Prepare for the Rapture II.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Today's Parliament Inquiry into News Corp.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why There Was No Vote on the Debt Ceiling Last Night.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Dick Cheney's Upcoming Memoir.
  • Top Ten Ways Americans Will Observe the 10th Anniversary of 9/11.
  • Top Ten Advances in Women's Rights in Saudi Arabia.
  • Top Ten Inaccuracies in Bill O'Reilly's Book About Lincoln.
  • Top Ten Suggestions From the Cat Food Commission.
  • Top Ten Worst Moments in George W. Bush's Presidency.
  • Top Ten Facts in George W. Bush's Memoir.
  • Top Ten Reasons Terry Jones Postponed His Koran Burning
  • Top 10 Causes for Dick Cheney's Congestive Heart Failure
  • Top Ten Ways That Jan Brewer Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo
  • Top Ten Demands in Sarah Palin's Contract
  • Top Ten Whoppers in Karl Rove's New Book
  • Top 10 Items Left Behind in Rush Limbaugh's Apartment
  • Top Ten Things Barack Obama said to Rush Limbaugh in the Hospital
  • Top Ten Bizarre Promos Offered by the New Jersey Nets
  • Top 10 Bush Executive Orders Labor Wants President Obama to Repeal
  • George W. Bush's Top Ten Lesser Achievements
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger