Saturday, January 21, 2017

"People of Gotham..."

(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari Goldstein)
For those of you who were too busy bolstering the market share of the liquor industry yesterday, we have a new President. His name is Donald J. Trump but some would call him Bane. In fact, in case you hadn't noted the masthead, the proprietor of this blog had decided to change the name of it for reasons I'll delve into in a minute. In fact, in October last year, he'd tried to warn you of the rise of this Batman villain but, as usual, no one listened.
     I was forced to listen to the whole thing because that's my job but let me save you some time in case your hangovers won't allow you to listen to more than a few words without abruptly having to sing in your little porcelain amphitheater: Trump had just thrown the transcripts of his campaign speeches into a blender, set it on puree, then let a brain-damaged capuchin assemble the bits at random. The result was something that would've made Sarah Palin sound like Margarets Meade or Fuller on a good day.

     It was meant as a dog whistle to the law enforcement apparatus that was already in the process of arresting 217 protesters. Twitter had also suspended the account of the National Park Service that oversees the National Mall for simply retweeting the dramatic difference of the size of the crowds between 2009 and yesterday's. It was also intended for the benefit of the few goobers who'd decided to attend after faithfully voting against their own interests. And, lest you think the comparison between Mr. Obama's inauguration and Trump's is misleading or that the 2017 photo was taken before everyone showed up, let me offer up this telling image after the presidential limousine hit the parade route:



     Or this...
     Of course, all the networks save for NBC were keeping the shots tight while Trump and Pence lumbered through their mile-long victory lap on Pennsylvania Ave. I guess the camera, far from adding 20 pounds, subtracts hundreds of thousands from inaugurals.
     But, more important than the pathetic spectacle of hundreds of thousands of Beltway voters boycotting what is still a historic event was what the Oaf of Office said after taking the Oath of Office (emphasis mine):
“Today, we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another. But we are transferring power from Washington, DC, and giving it back to you, the people… The establishment protected itself but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories. Their triumphs have not been your triumphs.”
     Let's compare that to Bane's speech as he takes over Gotham City:

“We take Gotham from the corrupt! The rich! The oppressors of generations who have kept you down with myths of opportunity, and we give it back to you … the people.”
     And the peasants rejoiced despite Trump filling his Cabinet with oligarchs who are worth a combined total of $14.5 billion.

We are all Barron Trump
     After land Baron Trump warmed the cloudy, cold skies with his hot air, Barron Trump was caught having this juvenile moment, as if he, too, couldn't believe what was happening to our country. Out of the mouths, and hands, of babes. Earlier, his mother Melania had to tell him to stop fidgeting with his cell phone. He also refused to hold her hand and was caught yawning during his father's oath of office.
     Meanwhile, George W. Bush did what George W. Bush does and fought a losing war against an inanimate object, to Dick Cheney's secret delight:

     I guess the rebel poncho was a Mexican plot and we'll be on the hook for another wall to back up the first wall that's already largely in place. Yes, children younger than 10 years of age- This walking brain stem led the Free World for eight years.
     At any rate, Bush's senior moment occurring at the same exact time former President Obama strained to project some dignity served as the perfect synecdoche of how absurd that day was. Not for decades, and perhaps never, had a new president delivered such an ominous yet lackluster speech at his inaugural.
     Even the heavens conspired, as it began raining in Washington DC at 12:00 noon, the exact moment Trump was taking the oath of office. And hours later, that rain presaged the fate of countless homeowners, the ones whose day it supposedly was, the ones whom Trump professed to empower, when Trump's first order of business was to raise rates on FHA homeowners then sign a ceremonial executive order "easing the burdens of Obamacare".
     People, the next four years won't be for wimps. Even as Trump is actively censoring the media by "quadrupling" the number in the press pool (The better with which to ignore you, my dears) and threatening to crack down on any dissent, these are only the first hours before Trump's nightmarish vision for America gathers steam, the first tentative bad dream we have right before entering the REM state.
     You want Trump to last less than four years, despite the specter of a President Pence balefully lurking in the wings? It all devolves on the 2018 midterms. Vote enough Republicans out, let them know we mean business that we do not want this man's slime all over the Resolute Desk given to us by Queen Victoria. And once the incumbency of the survivors is threatened, you'll be amazed how fast they'll write those articles of impeachment in the House and ratify them in the Senate when we make it abundantly clear there's no future in clinging to Donald Trump. It'll make Watergate look like gridlock.
     And mark my words, if Trump hasn't already given them grounds for impeachment (he has), eventually he will.

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