Friday, June 22, 2018

Gotham City Digest

     Where we don't tolerate guttersnipes.

     Trump's addled-pated ambivalence and incoherence is why we don't have an immigration bill. Even though both crafted by Republicans predictably, without Democratic input, suck. Yes, the party that screams bloody murder when they think they're being left out is, once again, locking out Democrats. As a result, we have two bills: One ultra Draconian piece of shit with gas ovens and the other not quite so Draconian piece of shit that leaves them out. And yet, despite nearly a year and a half of this sick, silly bullshit from the White House, it honestly never seems to have occurred to a single Republican that Donald Trump just may be completely out of his fucking mind.

     Yes, this Eastern Eurotrash airhead who wore a jacket embossed with, "I don't care" to a child detention facility said "Good luck" to those poor kids. That's what you say when you do the Pontius Pilate thing with people with whom you no longer want to be involved. I'm surprised she didn't throw paper towels at them. Those kids don't need luck- They need a brand new administration in the ultimate Blue Wave.

     First, there was this Aryan Ann Coulter wannabe in an Oregon DMV that says all immigrants at the border ought to be shot on sight. Now, another right wing nut job in Oregon is calling for immigrants to be executed. These vocational suicide bombers just can't keep their foul mouths shut. Which is probably a good thing.

     Just minutes after Il Douche took to (of course) Twitter to decry the stories of family grief over being separated from their children as "phony stories", CNN set the record straight by showing a video of a Guatemalan mother being reunited with her son a month after they were separated. Way to go, girl.

     Wow, private prison stocks are up 100% since Putin got Trump elected. Yeah, America will certainly be great again after half the country is locked up behind bars.

     I've had it up to here with these evangelical douchebags. They're nuttier than squirrel turds. It's either God's will or fake news. Which is it, assholes? You can't have it both ways.

     After what happened in Charlottesville ten months ago, has the National Park Service lost its fucking mind? They're letting Neo Nazis and white nationalists hold a rally in a district that's 49% black? How can this possibly have an outcome that doesn't involves lots of ambulances and meat wagons? Pier One, you better start stocking up.

     I just knew a story like this would pop up any day now. And Trump told us three years ago that it's the immigrants we have to worry about, that they're the rapists. Seems the ones we have to worry about are the child detention officers.

     In one of the most hilarious news stories ever, the Director of ICE actually just said that they can't be compared to Nazis because (wait for it) they're just following orders! Did this douchebag not watch Judgment at Nuremberg? What's next? Is ICE going to change its motto to "Arbeit Macht Frei"?

     You're kidding me, right? The fucking Mouse won't let the Goddamn show die, will it? Roseanne Barr was the reason it was successful and she was the reason why the brand was destroyed. It'll be interesting where they try to explain what happened to her character. I'm guessing in the first episode, Trump makes her the new Press Secretary after Sarah leaves. Then the ratings will take a nosedive after that.

     Well, that could've gone better. Apparently, Trump's strategy of Making America Great Again is fracturing the western alliance to the benefit of his buddy Putin and what better way to do that than to throw Starburst candies at Angela Merkel? I swear, between Bush molesting her at the G8, Obama spying on Germany and now Trump's constant assclownery, poor Angela must think we're a nation of wall to wall lunatics and fascists.

     Psychopath leprechaun Jeff Sessions says immigrant kids kidnapped from their parents have it better than many American kids. Such as Jeff Sessions' kids, for instance. And finally...

     The people who can't spell "immigration"...
     ...will now explain how racism doesn't exist.
     Good day and may God help us one and all, unless He, too, went packing for Canada.


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