Friday, February 21, 2020

Gotham City Digest: Враг Государственного издания

(Where we believe an enemy of the state requires an enema of the state.)

    I'd love to know what my #FreeAssange Bernie Bros think about Trump offering Assange a pardon (that he's not gonna get, especially now) if he hid evidence of Russian hacking into the DNC's email? And that Dana Rohrabacher offered the deal to him? Never forget, people, Assange gave us "President" Trump because of his relentless obsession with Hillary Clinton.
     I didn't.

     If anyone needs me, I'll be a corner cringing until November 3rd. And you can blame Bloomberg, who's never owned a dog as far as anyone can recall, for this.

     Because, as any judge or lawyer can tell you, ignorance of the law is a fail-proof defense.

     All Burger King did was bring home the point that they sell moldy food and McDonald's doesn't.

   Don't get me wrong. I'm glad my senior senator got in some good head and body shots at Bloomberg, who really is a misogynist pig. But the rest of her night consisted of her saying, "You suck, you suck, you suck, you suck and you especially suck" before concluding, "But we need to be a unified party."

     Yeah, I know it's the Moonie Times but they're heavily quoting Neil from his website. And, while I'd rather lick Rush Limbaugh's toilet seat for an hour while getting butt-fucked by a rabid wolverine than listen to his music, Neil's been on the right side of US politics for as long as I can remember.

    Then why don't those idiots simply move to Idaho, if they can't stand Oregon's liberal policies? (Tip o' the tinfoil hat to Constant Reader, CC.)

     This death threat came the day after Trump's hate rally in LA where he held up Zaid's picture. He's using these idiots as his unpaid goon squad and they're too stupid to realize it.

     Well, Trump wanted a lighter sentence for Roger Stone and he got it.

     Bloomberg's using a fake clip of himself and the other five candidates to make himself look better. He even added the sounds of crickets to the clip. He bombed on Wednesday night and he knows it. OK, Bloomer.

     A list of Mayo Pete's billionaire wine cavers. It may not be complete and comprehensive.

     Flannigan's right: The main question after last night's debate wasn't who won but who lost. (Hint: It was the right wing asshole who bribed his way on the stage & accused Bernie of being a Communist.)

     Meme intermission,

     If you thought Philadelphia was a shit show in 2016 (and it was), just wait'll Milwaukee this July.

     Looks like God isn't too happy about the Democrats' primary season, either.

     This has got my vote for being the beautiful snake in the world.

     A new poll shows Bernie leading in all 10 states. But, please, let's just all pretend like MSNBC that Bernie Sanders was never born. We can call it, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE BUT LET'S NOT MAKE IT TOO WONDERFUL.

    Defying California law, ICE is now arresting immigrants at courthouses. We're now officially a fascist state.

     Shorter Trump: "Just leave it to the crooked Democrat party to use my Russian collusion against me!"

      I always wondered what happened to that sex doll we launched into space. Now I need wonder no more.

      Gone With the Wind. That's where Trump's legacy is.

     Fucking A, I've always wanted to be a murder victim in an Agatha Christie novel. Where do I sign up?

     Oh, this is for the birds. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

     Man, this was the mother of all cock blocks.

     This is how the DNC plans to steal the nomination from Bernie... again.

     The Purge: Election Day: Part Two.

     Please sign this petition and put this piece of shit in prison. This poor baby needs justice.

   #TrumpIsARussianAsset. Why else would he be furious at the Intel community for warning Congress about Russian meddling in the 2020 election?

     The world's worst standup comedian continues his road act.

     Dana Rohrabacher confirmed he offered, yes, a quid pro quo to Julian Assange- a full pardon if he hid evidence of Russian sabotage in the 2016 election. Democrats, he's just begging you to impeach him again. How much easier does he have to make this for you?

     As usual, L'il Devin goes running to Daddy to tattle on the Intel Community and Adam Schiff.

      Comey starts investigating Trump over collusion with Russia, Trump fires him.
     Maguire briefs Congress about Russia's collusion with Trump, Trump fires him. Are we finally seeing a pattern here, folks?

      Wow, in hot water with the FEC, right out of the gate. And with his own money.

     "Life-long Democrat" my ass. Bernie's been more of a life-long Democrat than Blankfein ever was. He's threatening to vote for Trump because, like a typical right wing scumbag, he doesn't want to pay his fair share of taxes. (Another tip o' the tinfoil hat to Constant Reader, CC.)

      But ripping them from their parents' arms before deporting them back to a virtual death sentence, then throwing the kids in cages to be physically and sexually abused? Ah, not so traumatic.

      There's no talking to or reasoning with these cultist idiots. "Like administering medicine to a dead man," indeed. And finally...

      Don't like the coverage you get from your official state-run TV channel? Go after your former supporters.


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