Pottersville Digest: Expanded edition

 

("Four score and seven shots of Bushmills ago...")

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     In just two short days, Kevin McCarthy just became more despicable than Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz combined.

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     John Eastman really is just one brain spasm away from turning into the crazy old man on the corner who points a gun at kids and snarls, "Get off my lawn."

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     "During the course of the epic trilogy, the rightful King of Gondor had abandoned the throne. Since only the rightful king could sit on the throne of Gondor, a steward was appointed to manage Gondor until the return of the King, known as 'Aragorn,' occurred at the end of the story."

     Part of an actual lawsuit filed by a right wing lawyer who tried to overthrow the government. He's also declared the entire Congress is illegitimate. Paul Davis also got his law degree at a Rotary Club raffle.

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     Dental hygienist and aspiring ambulance chaser Orly Taitz finally lunges for the Trump crazy train long after it's left the station.

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     Oh, you KNOW who this asshole voted for last November. If Zip Tie Guy was BLM, it's a forgone conclusion he wouldn't be mealy-mouthing about his right to his opinion and liberty being the norm.

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     An airport named after you? Yeah, NOT happening.

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     Yeah, it figures that Trump, Internet Troll Zero until he was deplatformed from every online entity on the planet, would pardon a cyber stalker.

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     Real men wear mittens made by lesbians.

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     “When you march from Brooklyn over a bridge, you try to shut down the traffic on the bridge. You’re bringing bottles. You’re bringing graffiti. You’re spray painting our city. This is our city. You’re spray painting to burn our city down. This isn’t actions that are caused by police officers so that’s a news flash for the AG. This is actions caused by people that want to destroy our way of life and our city and we’re not going to let it happen.”

  This logically, factually and grammatically-crippled statement was made by the NYPD's commissioner, ladies and gentlemen.

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    "Mitch McConnell was fine with getting rid of the filibuster to a United States Supreme Court nominee for a lifetime appointment, but he's not okay getting rid of the filibuster for unemployment relief for families that are out of work because of COVID-19. I've just had enough of Mitch McConnell." -Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

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     Wow, what a surprise. A Republican lying about his credentials.

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     Meme intermission.

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     Good. Let them eat each other alive then deal with the indigestion and ugly aftertaste.

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     Yes. Trump had a Diet Coke button. I bet Kim Jong Un doesn't have one.

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     If you want to buy Trump Tower, I have a feeling you'll be able to get it for cheap at the foreclosure auction.

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     It seems Josh Hawley was a right wing nutter even when he was a 15 year-old high schooler, even writing articles defending McVeigh's militia after the OK City bombing and racist cop Mark Furhman.

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     No, no he isn't.

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     Fuck you. This is the exact definition of Republican behavior.

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     "Appearing on MSNBC on Sunday afternoon with host Alex Witt, former Donald Trump attorney Michael Cohen stated he believes the former president issued secret pardons for himself and his kids while still in office -- with the intent on making them public only if they are needed."

     I think Cohen may be onto something here.

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     DC terrorist Zip Tie Guy was ordered released. D.C. District Court Judge Beryl Howell said, "Not so fast..."

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     Betsy Devos was possibly the worst and most ignorant education secretary of all time. But she was just the continuation of the never-ending right wing war against public schools.

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     According to Maggie Haberman, the "Patriot Party" was a bluff all along. To keep the GOP in line during the impeachment. Because he wants to run again in 4 years. What no one's told Trump is that he has no leverage.

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     Stone, Manafort and Bannon ain't out of the woods, yet.

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     Why in God's name would the Biden administration even think of allowing Sinclair and Breitbart anywhere near the WH press briefing room?

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     "He's lost his primary emotional release valve, thanks to his post-Capitol riot banning from Twitter."

Good. Maybe he'll have a stroke and get shunted to a nursing home in downtown Miami.

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     "Paper or plastic?"

     "You want to super size that."

     "Did you call for an Uber?"

     Phrases most commonly used by ex Trump staffers.

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     You want to know why we're entering this newest and deadliest phase of this pandemic? Right wing assholes like this.

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     Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Better start working overtime hawking those stogies and gold coins, Rudy.

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     Another reason for me not to shop at Target.

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     Shorter Boris Epshteyn: "Let's only focus on Trump using the word, 'peaceful'."

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     "The PAC, called "Restore the Republic," lists its physical address as a UPS dropbox about half an hour from the former president's residence Mar-a-Lago."

     That alone tells you just about everything you need to know about this latest right wing grift. She also claimed a certain bank was handling the funds. They're not.

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     Make sure you bring plenty of stuffed animals and action figures to your fake March 4th inauguration.

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     This shouldn't strike anyone as surprising, that rich scumbags should get to cut in line for the vaccine before anyone else.

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     So much for "America First", huh, assholes?

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     Leave it to corporate mainstream media to seamlessly pivot from COVID-19 relief packages to Bernie's mittens.

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     Meanwhile, in Hawaii, yet another right wing vocational suicide bomber blows himself up. And finally...

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     Speaking of the psychopaths in the Hawaii GOP...