Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Hug Your Loved Ones

     Not that I expect many people to care but I'm not going to be online much if at all for the foreseeable future or ever. Mrs. JP may have reached the end of the road and I just have to prioritize my time and energies moreso than usual. I'm sorry for the promises I've broken and for everything else I'm letting fall by the wayside. But life and especially death supersedes all else. As it is, I can't even be seen in public any more let alone online because I can't stop crying. So I apologize to all I've disappointed. 

     Dementia is such a cruel fucking disease and, even though it's called "the long goodbye", it's shocking how abruptly it can advance. Just last Friday, Mrs. JP, a friend of ours and I spent much of the afternoon in historic Concord, Massachusetts. We went to a restaurant and had lunch and walked around town and she seemed as fine as could be expected.

     By Saturday, she could barely walk. Sunday, I had to take her out to do her laundry and she collapsed in the parking lot. She just stopped eating, drinking or trying to do anything. I was going to take her to the hospital yesterday then I saw her walk into the bathroom under her own power and I thought she'd turned a corner.

     I was so wrong. I can't get her to eat or drink and I have to practically carry her to bed. I have to do the right thing by her and acknowledge that a hospital can care for her in ways I cannot any longer. And I just know when the ER staff sees what they're dealing with, they're going to insist on putting her in a nursing home.

     Every year, since at least 2020 when the pandemic began, has been worse for us than the previous one. And this year has been the most horrible one, yet. Her dementia had advanced to an alarming degree and she's finally hitting that dreaded wall, I fear. My van's falling apart, my computer is failing. I ever lost a lens out of my glasses last night lugging her to bed. Everything is falling apart in my life, including my girlfriend, and I'm powerless to stop it.

     And if she doesn't make it back, it'll destroy my life in more ways than one- Emotionally, psychologically, creatively, financially. So much of our routine is woven around each other and everything I ever did or tried to do I did for my girlfriend of over 13 years. I don't know why the universe keeps subtracting things and people I need and love but I'm getting tired of it.

     So if I don't make it back myself, you'll know why.

5 Comments:

At February 28, 2023 at 9:06 PM, Anonymous Bridgette said...

So sorry to hear. Take care of yourself as well as her. Hope you make it back.

 
At February 28, 2023 at 9:14 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Bridgette- Thanks for your kind thoughts. I made a last ditch effort to get her out of bed so she wouldn't get pneumonia. Amazingly, I succeeded. Then I got her to eat some chowder then some lasagna. She also downed three bottles of spring water and even a little Chianti because she was so dehydrated. So it looks as if I won't have to take her to the hospital tomorrow, after all.

 
At February 28, 2023 at 11:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She needs IV liquids so she stays hydrated

 
At February 28, 2023 at 11:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She needs to get IV hydration

 
At March 1, 2023 at 12:11 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Well, she won't need IV fluids in a hospital setting if she stays hydrated by drinking. I gave her lots of water tonight, which she gratefully drank, but I also have Gatorade on hand to help balance her electrolytes. I'm also striving to provide her with a well-balanced diet. Hopefully, tomorrow and afterward, we'll continue building on today.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

KindleindaWind, my writing blog.

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #106: The Turkey Has Landed edition
  • #105: Blame it on Paris or Putin edition
  • #104: Make Racism Great Again Also Labor Day edition
  • #103: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Toilet edition
  • #102: Orange is the New Fat edition
  • #101: Electoral College Dropouts edition
  • #100: Centennial of Silliness edition
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Christwire.org: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Salon.com.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find Articles.com, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • Dictionary.com.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • anysoldier.com
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger