Or rather, Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day. But what's a little venereal disease among friends, right?
Every Columbus Day, I like to remind people that Columbus was a rotten navigator and he accidentally "discovered" America when he thought he found India. Hey, he was only off by 7600 miles. Could've happened to anyone.
Yeah, I'm an asshole. But I'm the type of asshole that speaks the truth.
This is Ben Carson's idea of what to do in a mass shooting scenario: Offer up oneself as a bullet catcher for the common good and take several for Team Z (and maybe do a few lively steps from West Side Story in the act of dying).
Does this lunatic Carson think we live in The Walking Dead? That the answer to mass shootings is to make their job easier and rush at them simply because of superiority in numbers? The Persians had superiority in numbers and look what the Spartans did to them at Thermopylae.
Ben Carson is simply the most brainless brain surgeon like Bill Frist was the most heartless heart surgeon ever. And he seriously needs to shut the fuck up about guns and what he'd do in such a situation. To hear him talk, he'd be all Rambo and show us how a real man would handle it... Oh, wait. He did. Let's just say I'm far from impressed.
Let me give you the benefit of my experience:
Believe it or not, despite what I used to be in the Navy, I never once had a loaded weapon drawn on me. But seven and a half years after I was mustered out of service, an incident happened in Gulfport, Mississippi in early 1990.
My then girlfriend's son Bubba (Yes, that was his name) was jilted by his girlfriend. He somehow got a bottle of Jack Daniels then reached under his grandfather's pillow where he knew he kept his .38 revolver. When his mother saw the gun in his hand, she freaked out and tried to get him to relinquish the weapon. At one point, he pointed the gun right at her head. When I found out what was going on, he pointed the gun at me.
Now, I'm going to hit the pause button here for a moment to compare what I then did to what Ben Carson would tell me I should've done.
We had to assume the revolver was fully-loaded. The old man wouldn't have kept an unloaded gun in the house. That's just how these people do it. If I had rushed at the kid, I would've taken a bullet and all Hell would've broken loose. I also could've gotten my girlfriend or anyone else killed.
The kid retreated into the bedroom and sat on the bed while his mother sat beside him. By this time, he'd put the gun against his side, with his finger in the trigger well. Knowing guns as well as I do, I knew the only thing keeping him from partially disemboweling himself was about four pounds of pressure. He told me not to approach him so I didn't.
Instead, I calmly leaned against the door jamb and softly talked the kid down. I'd like to think between his mother and me, we calmed him down long enough for his father (Also named Bubba) to arrive and finish the job. We peacefully disarmed the kid without even calling in law enforcement (Down there in the sticks they tend to keep things internal).
It wasn't until after we'd taken the gun from him that I realized it was the kind of .38 that didn't have a safety. And if I'd lost my head, or did what Ben Carson suggested, any number of people in that house could've gotten killed, including me. I wasn't a hero one way or the other. I simply kept my cool and the situation as defused as I could, kind of like applying frozen nitrogen to a live bomb.
So Ben Carson seriously needs to shut the fuck up about guns and lecturing us about what we should do, especially when he talks about others willing to take one or two for the team.
...for saying he won't attend the funerals of the UCC shooting victims but that he may attend the next round of funerals the next time a lone wacko shoots up a school. Oh, and if that isn't enough, Carson's also doubling down and actually blaming the victims for their own deaths and that he'd be manlier in the face of death.
Piyush "Bobby" Jindal is a close second for blaming the shooter's father and not the gun nut mother who stockpiled weapons later used by her son because she a'feared Obummer was gonna steal her arsenal.
These honorary white supremacist assholes are beneath contempt but as the 2016 Election staggers and stumbles on for the next 13 months, I'll try to dig deep and find some for them.
It's a question eminently worthy to be included with other great queries of the ages such as Who Was Jack the Ripper, Why Do Dogs Sniff Each Other's Butts and Why Won't Soccer and the Metric System Take Hold in the US? To anyone who doesn't watch NASCAR and Fox "News", it's all supposition. It's like trying to get in the mind of a cat to determine why it shits behind your couch when it has a clean litter box to use.
And the Donald's improbable and seemingly inexplicable appeal to the right wing denizens living at the base of Jon Stewart's Bullshit Mountain has proven to be an enduring mystery since Trump announced his candidacy from his own hotel back in June. After all, what's Trump saying this year that he hadn't back when he was just an umber-faced buffoonish alsoran in 2012? That campaign was immediately exposed for the right wing performance art that it was and before anyone knew it, Trump decided to terminate his campaign and sulk back to Celebrity Apprentice.
So what's so different with the current goat rodeo? Since 2012, the only ways that Trump's changed is he's gained a few more pounds and his increasingly transparent double weave is the worse for wear. He's changed remarkably little since a suppressed 1989 documentary was made about him when he was still in his 30's.
Well, this time around, he's attacking minorities and women with renewed vigor, even right wing Fox icon Megyn Kelly, and is more than a little more brash than he was in '12. And considering the hostile climate Republicans have made since that year for women, minorities and other tried-and-true targets of the right wing, this has emboldened the Neanderthal wing of the GOP so their completely batshit insane positions have the illusion of being mainstream or on the verge of being so (Thank you again, Joe Overton).
Humans never change no matter how long our shit- and blood-spattered lineage stretches. One of those ways is in whom we tend to surrender ourselves whether it be favorite writers, spouses and soulmates and politicians. It's a foregone conclusion that many humans seek out those who have commonalities with us. Whether it be someone who looks like us, thinks like us or has common values with us, as a generally egoistic species, we tend to be attracted to those in whom we see the most of ourselves.
And, if one is tactless and hateful and virulently defensive to those who don't share your views, you'll tend to be attracted to someone like Trump (although it could be said distance, like absence, makes the heart grow fonder). Indeed, Donald Trump's entire candidacy can be boiled down to the word "Mexicans" and a derogatory imperative.
While being canny and devious to make himself a multi billionaire through one tax avoidance scheme after another, Donald Trump is not an intelligent man. He comes across as a thug that just made his first million, as someone who'd hijacked third base at gunpoint and thought he was born on it. The radical Teabagger faction that is not only indistinguishable from white supremacist factions but are the one and the same see their rancid values shared or pretended to be shared by a huckster who's barely smart enough and more than cynical enough to see the profit in doing so.
Not Racist But #1 With Racists
Right wing mouth-breathers who scream about government overreach and the elites have always had an uneasy alliance with the 1% who still successfully pull the football from them like so many Lucy Van Pelts every election cycle. They get the vague sense they're being butt-fucked from behind but as long as the GOP and Wall Street keep telling them the liberals are out to get their guns, every time they look in the mirror to see who's sodomizing them, all they'll see is Michael Moore and George Soros.
So how cool is it when, instead of buying a candidate, someone in the 1% decides to run for President and it happens to be someone who shares their values?
Guns are cool! We shouldn't have gun free zones! We should just bomb the shit out of this nation or another! I'd get rid of inner city gangs in a New York minute! I'd build a wall around Mexico who imports their rapists to our country! Menstrual blood squirting out everywhere! Sure I read the Bible. It's my favorite book! I'd fuck her if she wasn't my daughter. Deport all 11,000,000 of them!
20 years ago or less, such a candidacy would've been seen only in a political satire courtesy of Hollywood and dismissed, as was Trump's last stumping stunt, as pure right wing performance art. But as I said earlier, the GOP establishment that's popping Advil like beer nuts over Trump's antics has only itself to blame because they got into bed with the Teabaggers who then elected their own ideological soulmates into Congress by the dozens, setting the stage for a rancidly recidivist nation that seems bound and determined to catapult us back to beyond the beginning of the Civil Rights and Suffrage movements and clear into the 19th century.
So it's refreshing for the right wing to get behind a One Percenter who seems to share their values and avoids looking like an elitist without ever being burdened by the suspicion that he's merely cynically using their prejudices and fears to political advantage. It's enough that he's not too self-conscious to step into a WWE ring and make a flaming asshole of himself or to trash talk anyone of consequence who even mildly questions his vague and substanceless positions.
And the more companies and other corporate entities that dump Trump, the more he gets to play the victim card, to a "persecuted" white right wing base that sees white people, gun owners and Christians like Kim Davis as under attack? That only adds to the appeal.
Gee, isn't it heart-warming that Trump and Fox got over their 24
hour-long lover's spat so they could get back to the right wing lunacy such as blaming the UCC shooting on liberals and their evil "gun-free" zones?
But for those of us who aren't as sentimental about the reconciliation of Vidal Baboon and Roger Ailes, here's a reality check:
It's ironic for Trump to say shootings are inevitable since virtually all
his properties, including the Trump hotels and casinos, are gun free zones. So's NRA HQ and several of the venues of their events, btw. In other words, For Thee and Not For Me, Motherfuckers.
2) The UCC campus is NOT a gun-free zone. Oregon law forbids such a thing. Schools and campuses ought to be exempt but aren't. Another right wing lie amplified by Fox and Trump.
Cars, Tucker, are built for transportation only. Guns are built for one
purpose and that's to kill people. Very bad, very threadbare right wing
analogy that doesn't even require linkage to refute.
4) Since Port Arthur, Australia hasn't had a significant mass shooting since they enacted strict gun control laws in 1996. This is no coincidence. But to the idiots at Fox & Friends, this is having a "chilling effect" on the rights of the patriots of... another country
A vet was at UCC with his gun at the time of the massacre and decided not to engage the shooter lest
he be mistaken by the police for a gunman. That decision very likely
saved his life.
6) Students have said in polls and
surveys about guns in the schools that they'd be hesitant to raise controversial issues if there were guns in the classroom.
Classrooms are places of learning and ought to foster a spirit of
intellectual curiosity and not impose a, well, chilling effect on it. This is
why classrooms ought to be safe havens for education
7) Gun free zones do not attract right wing lunatics such as the UCC shooting. They go to schools with which they have ties (such as Adam Lanza in Newtown or Harris and Klebold at Columbine) or target individuals for whom they harbor a seething bigotry (such as the Sikh Temple shooter or Dylann Storm Roof and the church he shot up because it was full of black people).
Don't let the right wing Wurlitzer establish the terms, data and tone of the debate. Educate yourself and stop accepting these mealy-mouth right wing tropes that always seek to protect the rights of gun nuts like Adam Lanza and Dylann Storm Roof without giving more than brief lip service to their victims.
Because we are so fucked.
If my conservative and more moderate readers have any stubborn dingleberry doubts that the Republican Party is actively hastening the end of Mankind or at least the United States, consider the case of Kevin McCarthy.
When Eric Cantor took over as House Majority leader just after the Teabagger revolt of 2010 that handed the lower chamber back to the Republicans, no one batted an eye. And even though many had questioned, "Who the hell's Steny Hoyer?" when he became Nancy Pelosi's right hand man before that, at least no one questioned the man's intelligence. And that's because both Cantor and Hoyer have, at bare minimum, at least an adequate intelligence. And, just to give the Devil his due, Eric Cantor's a pretty smart guy, albeit in a sociopathic "Don't Ever Turn Your Back on Me" sort of way.
But when Cantor was voted out in his party's own primary a couple of years ago, he was immediately supplanted by a nonentity named Kevin McCarthy. And people began asking, "Who?" As Rachel Maddow pointed out in her segment on McCarthy, this guy has apparently made over $350,000 over the last two years for essentially doing nothing. The author of two pieces of passed legislation (one of them renaming a post office in his district after Buck Owens), it seems this guy is the House's version of Mitch McConnell, someone who mysteriously holds onto power every two years without actually accomplishing anything.
Except McConnell's no idiot, either. He's a devious, obstructive asshole, sure, but he's no idiot.
Now, in some Fuck You coup de grace courtesy of the GOP, McCarthy is set to actually become the House's version of Mitch McConnell and then some because he's already been anointed by his party to be the Speaker of the House, or the man third in line to the presidency.
If Hollywood wanted to make a dark comedy about an moronic politician, they could do a lot worse than use Kevin McCarthy as a template. Because it takes a hell of a lot of stupidity to make one yearn for the days of Dan Quayle, George W. Bush, Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin.
McCarthy's presser after being inexplicably anointed the next House Speaker made George W. Bush's worst, most malapropism-impregnated speech look like Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech by conspicuous relief. It sounded as if it was written by Sarah Palin after an Anchorage kegger or by some devious prankster from the Daily Beast who'd slipped in the speech in place of the real one.
By calling Hungary "Hungria", and talking about "the band on America", McCarthy not only looked like a flaccid penis, he lacked even the self-correcting ability of a professional politician who can spot mistakes in texts and make the necessary corrections on the spot. And, even though he was reading from a prepared text, the look on his face unmistakably betrayed a man who plainly had no idea what the fuck he was talking about or that he sounded as if he was vomiting magnetic poetry tiles.
We Must Stop ISIS From Placing Applesauce on My Sailboat
As Maddow pointed out in her September 30th segment, the world's going to hell in a handbasket. Syria is fast becoming the new Vietnam with us bombing that poor country on behalf of the Syrian rebels while Russia bombs the shit out of the same country in support of Assad's murderous government. It's indistinguishable from the war of aggression we fought in Vietnam until four decades ago when we were actually fighting Red China and Red China was fighting us through the proxies of North and South Vietnam. It's like Moe and Larry having a fight where poor Curly takes all the slaps and punches. And it's created a humanitarian crisis and exodus that hardly anyone outside of Germany wants to deal with.
And yet, the power-mad, borderline insane psychopaths who are murdering these innocents in Syria and all over the world are judged even by the normally rational Maddow as men qualified to run their countries. Obama may be a deceptively bloodthirsty cocksucker who sleeps very well on French linen every night after having ordered and justified blowing up a wedding party and killing dozens of innocents because he may have gotten one Taliban commander.
But he's no idiot.
Kevin McCarthy is. Unmistakably. Undeniably. Indisputably. He makes his namesake on Edgar Bergen's lap sound like George Santayana on a really good day. If he was any stupider, they'd be harvesting his organs right now at Walter Reed and pumping formaldehyde through what's left in his neck.
He's the Republican establishment's idea of what a safe choice should be. Let's not forget why Boehner was elbowed out of his Speakership. He was judged by the radical right wing, the Teabagger psychos who thought his constant obstruction of President Obama's every single nomination and legislative agenda was too liberal. Not wanting to give the minority teabagger caucus a say in the matter, the GOP establishment chose McCarthy.
Which makes no sense because McCarthy can make no sense even when reading from a prepared speech. They had literally hundreds of other men and women in their caucus from which to choose. Yet it seems as if they'd deliberately chosen to succeed Boehner the one person in their party whose mind is weaker than a Taco Bell burrito. I mean, seriously: Not even canny insider Paul Ryan? Evangelical nutbag Louis Gohmert?
And maybe that was the intent all along, to elevate to the US House Speakership, one of the most powerful offices on the planet, a man who's about the closest one could get to a tabula rasa, a man with a mind as blank as a blackboard in July. Someone too stupid to know when he has a grimy hand up his ass and his mouth manipulated by psycho legislative ventriloquists.
Since I spend way more time on Twitter than is healthy for any writer, I often waste even more time conjuring clever little memes that largely go ignored. Many of these don't wind up here at Pottersville. Therefore, since I have a full day planned that'll be devoted to paying bills, doing shopping and continuing my new thriller, Gods of Our Fathers, time for blogging will be nonexistent. So here are some memes that I've put up on Twitter and my apologies if you've seen them here.
Blogwhoring. You do it, I do it, we all do it. What have you been up to?
Tengrain says, Let’s Open The Box With Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul! Because apparently being Preznit's not enough. Paul's pulling a Lieberman and is also hedging his bets by running for his Senate seat at the same time. So when we look in the box come next November, will it be President Paul, Senator Paul or fake Doctor Paul? He was on such a roll. Frankie Goes to Hollywood for Ugly People, makes Boehner resign the next day, throwing the GOP in even more disarray than usual, then... Then he has to do something stupid like meet with Kim Davis in secret and validate her kind of like John McCain validating Sarah Palin and turning her into the spittle-flecked fame monster she is today. Way to go, Frankie. We all got it when you took a swipe at gay marriage during your congressional address but the last thing Kim Davis' ego needed was for you to turn her into this century's answer to Joan of Ark. Chuck Pierce agrees. Tom Sullivan over at Digby's place warns us about the outcome of the last legislative session of the sons and daughters of Pat McCrory and it's a giant foam middle finger in the puss of progressivism that might be foolishly taken up by local governments. Yes, the party that passionately believes in limited central government basically went all Bund on city and county governments in NC and these are the arsenic-tipped bullet points (emphasis not mine):
Many of the new restrictions are highly charged, including provisions that could allow
local landlords to deny housing to veterans and seniors, permit local
businesses to discriminate against their customers based on their sexual
orientation, and prohibit city and county governments from passing living wage and paid sick ordinances to boost their local economies. One shocking provision may even stop local governments from requiring landlords to provide heating, air, and ventilation in their properties.
This is the government you wanted, you confederate flag-waving racist hillbillies. Reap the rancid whirlwind.
Meanwhile, on Brownback (aka Bullshit) Mountain, the Rude Pundit shows us what's going on in the Zombie Belt. Because, apparently, October is "Zombie Preparedness Month". Yes, the government that desperately wants St. Ronnie to make a George Romero comeback is also warning us in a pointless publicity stunt wasting money better spent on education and social services that teh dead are coming back. Like, what the fuck? Halloween's one day out of the year, Gov. Samhain Brownback.
Rounding out the list of the usual suspects is d r i f t g l a s s who, in, "Bernie Speaks Truth" reminds us, as does Bernie Sanders, about what should be truly important to liberals. Sanders recently said to Obama stooge David Axelrod on his own podcast that Obama was incredibly naive about the GOP's willingness to work with him. It was kind of like a black man crashing a KKK rally in full regalia and fully expecting they'd hand him the torch so he could immolate our constitutional liberties and civil rights as they cheered in the background. I'd begun warning you about this guy seven fucking years ago and I was sneered at, ignored and finally my readership abandoned me in droves. Well, in the end, who was right? And maybe, if my spot-on appraisals of the Obama administration back when it was still the twilight hours of the Bush administration didn't make an impression on you, maybe Sir Drifty's words will. Or, maybe not. But Bernie Sanders said it out loud and clear enough for you limousine liberals to hear while you stick your heads in the sand and conveniently forget about short-stroking Israel, bitch-slapping liberals, bailing out Wall Street, drone strikes murdering thousands of innocents, continuing torture, fucking the labor/union movement and infesting the government with literally tons of Wall Street insiders because... post racial!
Does this express flight to hell come with a meal and a movie?
This is just to let y'all know we're still kicking either against the pricks or otherwise. I'm going to be hard at work until at least the middle of next month drafting out my new historical thriller, Gods of Our Fathers while at the same time trying to do right by whatever few readers I have by providing you guys with some fresh content on at least a semi-regular basis.
In the meantime, I'm still waiting for Penguin-Random House and about a half dozen film production companies to get back to me regarding Tatterdemalion.
But I'd also like to take this time to remind you, if you haven't seen it yet, that our last fundraising drive has met with less than stellar results and we could still use a significant amount of help since we're spending on bills way more than we're taking in.
That said, you'll be hearing more from me whether or not the government shuts itself down (which would directly affect our food stamp allotment). Probably more often if it does. And just think about what happened the last time the Republicans shut down the government: 13 months later during the last midterms, they not only widened their lead in the House, we also gave them the fucking Senate, to boot.
Don't ask me why they think they can shut it down again with impunity.