Thirsty

     If you're like most Americans, you're glad that FIFA's gone from America for another few decades. The tickets and concessions were criminally overpriced. Let's get back to baseball, where at least athletes are allowed to use all four of their fucking limbs.

     But, as always, Trump had to make FIFA all about himself, even though he'd never shown any particular fondness for soccer until the World Cup came to North America. You might remember when Gianni Infantino, Trump's personal Gollum, came to the White House in a very misguided attempt to show Trump the gold FIFA trophy. Trump actually asked if he could keep it.

     Chelsea won their championship. Then Trump wouldn't leave the stage and the team literally pushed him to the back. Later, Trump admitted that he stole the trophy and that it was sitting in the Oval Office. Chelsea had to settle for a replica.

     Then, when Spain beat Argentina 1-0 in the World Cup final, Trump was allowed, for some bizarre reason, to hand the FIFA trophy that he wanted to keep to Spain. Then he wouldn't leave the fucking stage. Infantino rushed across the platform to remind Trump that it was time for him to leave but he stubbornly refused to leave, posing with the team as if he had anything to do with their victory.

     Because this needy, infantile asshole always has to make everything about himself. Not only that, if Trump is anywhere within a parsec of someone else's moment of glory, he needs to steal their thunder. This is why he crashes weddings to which he's not invited, this is why he won't leave stages when sports teams try to celebrate their victories. He cannot let other people experience joy after hard-won achievements. He has to co-opt them as his own.

      Keep in mind what Trump said recently.

      “The one thing about sports is you break it down into, you know, a two-hour period. You don’t have to wait a lifetime to find out, ‘Is somebody a winner or a loser?’ You got a lot of losers, mostly losers, fortunately. It’s a good thing to have a lot of losers. I always like to hang around with losers actually because it makes me feel better." Then he added,

     "I hate guys that are very, very successful and you have to listen to their success stories. I like people that like to listen to my success." 

      But Trump doesn't just surround himself with "losers". When sports teams win championships, he insists on hanging around like some bloated version of Zelig and, in his desperate need to assimilate, tries to become unto them.

      Seriously, can anyone think of another occupant of the White House who was so pathetically thirsty and needy? Can anyone reading this think that that's a good quality to have in a commander in chief?