Monday, December 15, 2014

Santa's Drunk and Rudolph Just Shit on My Roof

     It looks as if Santa's driving drunk and the only indication I've gotten that he's flown over Casa de Pottersville is reindeer shit on my roof. Ole St. Nick's so far off course even fucking NORAD can't find him and the only yule logs I've seen are the ones Popeye leaves in his cat litter box.
     So, in light of Santa's empty sack, yours truly had to break down and buy a brand new battery from AAA when I found myself needing to use my booster pack literally every time I wanted to start the nearly 17 year-old Ford Taurus. Triple A was nickle and diming me to death, insisting my battery was fine according to the hasty diagnostics done by one of their local contractors. So, despite the old one still having four years left on the warranty, it was either pulling out the booster pack every time I wanted to start the car or shell out nearly $120 for a new one.
     Right around this time, I was obliged to finally break down and turn on the gas heat, meaning my NStar bills will no longer feature those quaint bills in double digits. Earlier this month, I had to shell out $100 to have my turn signals fixed. Shorter version:
     I've had to make significant outlays of cash of late and at the worst time of the year when I'm trying to do my shopping. And I still haven't gotten anything for Number One and Number Two sons, not to mention Number One Son's girlfriend.
     Yesterday I was once again forced to do something I hate doing and appealed for help directly to over 170 people who'd helped out in the past. After a small but encouraging spate of donations within the first hour or so, they petered out to nothing. We haven't gotten a single one all day.
     Because of our always pecuniary state, Christmas will be thinner this year than usual. I refuse to forgo getting presents for my loved ones but Christmas here always involves doing some financial triage and deciding what bills can wait and which ones get paid first. To exacerbate things, the damned Department of Transitional Assistance is dicking us around again regarding our SNAP benefits as they struggle to adjust to this new business model they've been implementing since last October, making me fork out money for food as they did last fall.
     Next month will involve more uncommon but foreseen expenses such as the annual inspection and possibly an even more expensive repair job to one of the tie rods so it won't get slapped with a reject sticker. Anyone that's ever owned an old car should sympathize with my plight: Making constant or near-constant repairs because it's still cheaper than getting a new car.
     You don't know, unless you've been there, how much it galls me to have to remain in nearly constant fundraising mode, something I've somehow managed to avoid doing for more than two months. But despite my inability to find meaningful work that will actually pay all the bills, insisting on remaining alive demands one meet their obligations in a timely manner and I take my fiduciary responsibilities very seriously.
     If you have any spare cash, then please find the Paypal button at the top of the page or at the end of this post. Nearly 170 people have ignored my recent plea for assistance but perhaps you're one of the ones who've yet to contribute. I have a lot of weight on my shoulders and the less money I have, the heavier the burden gets. So if you can help even in the slightest, please do. You know you'll be in our warmest thoughts on Christmas day.


At December 17, 2014 at 10:04 AM, Blogger zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I found myself needing to use my booster pack literally every time I wanted to start the nearly 17 year-old Ford Taurus

O god, have I been there. Got so bad, that my booster pack was actually a Christmas gift one year.

At December 22, 2014 at 5:20 PM, Anonymous Comrade Rutherford said...

Yeah, I had a nice big job and thought I was going to have a wonderful Christmas, getting actual presents for my kids for the first time since the GOP killed the economy in 2007.

But then I brought my two 20-year-old cars in for those same 'must fix to pass inspection' repairs. And the bill came to $1000! At least our 4WD has actual tires on it instead of the racing-slick skiis. You'd hit the brakes and all four wheels would lock up and the car would just keep on going. Or you'd hit the gas and the tires would just spin...

So, no Christmas for my family this year.

The Kiwanis club was given our name as a needy family, and my wife picked up brand new snow pants, boots, jackets and gloves, and a frozen turkey today. How nice, but sad, at the same time.

And the creditors for Bank of America are taking me to Small Claims court to try to take what little money I do earn away from me and hand it to the partners of some LLC collection agency, because they claim it helps the economy to prevent me from paying rent and becoming homeless with three kids.

Merry fucking christmas, bah, humbug.

At December 22, 2014 at 5:52 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

C0mrade, email me when you see this. I may have some good news for you.


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