Top 10 Assclowns of the Inauguration

 

     Sieg Heil, Gothamites, and happy Inauguration day! Well, Donald Trump, the first man with a mug shot and rap sheet to be sworn in as president, couldn't wait to disappoint his supporters and opted to hold the inaugural indoors. Everyone is blaming the cold weather but the fact is, he was concerned about an anemic crowd size (No doubt, he'll still claim that 2,000,000 packed the Capitol Rotunda), thereby depriving America of another William Henry Harrison. But Trump (1, 2, 5) wasn't the only assclown in attendance, no siree. There was also Marjorie Taylor-Greene (7, 9) for shoving to the front row and claiming Democrats want to execute Republicans. There's Elon Musk (3) for his rather, um, distinctive salute and Melania Trump (8) for dressing like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So hop into the Nazi motorcycle sidecar as we celebrate the return of the Iron Eagle and much, much more!

 

10) MAGA Voters

      MAGA voters are perennially butthurt sociopaths and social maladroits who start reaching for their AR 15s when their pork rinds aren't crispy enough. So it's only natural that some of them had some whimpering objections when Trump decided to bring the Inauguration into the Capitol Rotunda (Yes, literally a case of the criminal returning to the scene of the crime). Some of them spent thousands in leaving their respective Upper Voltas of the American heartland so they could attend. But when Trump got wind the hotel room occupancy in the Capitol was hovering somewhere around 70%, he decided while they were still chugging along in their pickups to literally leave them out in the cold.

      This was what awaited the morons, who were told the tickets they paid for were "commemorative" and that the money they spent for them would be considered donations. One can reasonably expect this will no doubt be the first of many disappointments as Trump will show his voters who follows him like he's Jerry Garcia that he cares about as much for them as Hitler did the Jews who voted for him in 1933.

9) Marjorie Taylor-Greene

      Let it not be said that Marjorie Taylor-Greene stands on tradition. Rather, she stands on its neck. Greene went on Steve Bannon's podcast, Real Post Weimar Republic Germany's Voice, (also outside in the freeing cold) to brag about cutting in line at Trump's inaugural. Typically, at a presidential inauguration, your place in line is determined by seniority. But that's not how Greene sees it. She told Bannon, "As I looked along the entire line of Republicans and Democrats lined up, and they were lining us up by seniority, I looked at that, and I said, this is ridiculous. We need to be lining up by who supports President Trump the most. And that is, I said, that's me."

     Maybe someone should remind Trump's number one bleacher bum that, despite all her support over the years, Trump didn't see fit to give her a job in his government, thereby finally giving Georgia-14 a break from being represented by a spittle-flecked gym rat.

8) Melania Trump

      God knows this isn't a fashion blog but there are just some crimes of apparel that simply cry out for ridicule and commentary. And, Melania's choice of black certainly invites comparisons to funerals, which is very much in keeping with the nation mourning the death of our Great Experiment. And, fittingly, the woman who'd once decorated the White House for Christmas with dead trees decided to go to her husband's inaugural in an outfit that had to be seen to be believed. Her hat alone make her look like a cross between Zorro and the Hamburglar. Which is a pretty ironic thing considering Trump's unhealthy diet. I'm sure much of America can't wait to see what she wears to Trump's funeral, that is, if she can be bothered to show up.

7) Marjorie Taylor-Greene

     It shouldn't surprise anyone that MTG, like virtually every Republican, is an inexhaustible wellspring of wingnuttery, bile and ignorance. Her bragging on Steve Bannon's podcast about cutting in line at the inaugural was just a warmup for her newest conspiracy theory: That Democrats want to line up Republicans against a wall and execute them. This is what Greene said to Bannon, another wingnut left by Trump on the dustbin of history: "These people would line us up in front of a firing squad and kill us if they could. We know exactly who the Democrats are. Their mask is off."

     Maybe MTG shouldn't be giving Democrats any bright ideas, especially considering the Democrats' paucity of them. Besides, Marjie, shooting our enemies against toilet blocks is so 1989 Romania. That's why we have Jewish Space Lasers.

6) The Biden and Trump Administrations

     Wow, that was quick.

     Before the Trump junta even took over today, the government's Reproductive Rights website went dark and, as the above image shows, if you try to access www.ReproductiveRights.gov, all you'll get is a 404 page. Actually, according to the Wayback Machine, it was last active on January 15th, meaning the Biden administration began obeying the Trump junta in advance.

     Reproductiverights.gov offered women free advice on reproductive healthcare as well as directing them to much-needed organizations and resources. In fact, according to the Office of Population Affairs, it offered "birth control, medication, abortion services, and other preventive health services, as well as important facts about privacy, rights associated with reproductive health care, and how people with and without health insurance can obtain reproductive health care.” This comes off as especially tone-deaf considering the death yesterday of reproductive rights activist Cecile Richards.

     Just in case any of you were still hoping that Project 2025 wouldn't actually become a thing.

5) Donald Trump

     Here's what Sen. Richard Blumenthal wrote on Twitter today:

     "I was hoping for a unifying message — a speech seeking to bring us together & heal our differences. Instead, it was replete with grievance & grandiosity — playing to cultural & political divisions. I was struck by the panorama of Big Tech billionaires on a platform raised above Supreme Court Justices, placed ahead of Cabinet members. Governors were relegated to a separate room, including Republican Governors. It was a picture of a government for sale."

 

     Waving aside for a moment the laughable trust of Blumenthal actually expecting a message of unity from the most divisive world leader since Hitler, he pinpoints Trump's true loyalties, which should come as no surprise to anyone who's been paying even cursory attention to this corrupt assclown. The only surprise is that Trump didn't supplant the presidential seal on his lectern with a For Sale sign.

4) The ADL

     As you'll find out a little further down, Elon Musk got himself in the news again for giving Trump a stiff arm Nazi salute at the end of his speech at the Capitol One arena. You'd think that gesture would be readily identifiable to all, considering it was used by the Nazis and is still used by neoNazi organizations. It's easily the most identifiable gesture used by white supremacists. So we can call a spade a spade, yes? Not so fast.

     Musk's salute was shrugged off by the @ADL. Yes, the Anti Defamation League. It was "an awkward gesture", they said, "at a delicate moment." 

 

     We saw Elmo the Nazi giving a Nazi salute to other Nazis. This is apparently what the ADL saw.

     Yes, I'm sure the 6,000,000 Jews who were murdered in the death camps would've been just as understanding and deferential as you. This is the definition of "obeying in advance." Yes, the ADL, which has been combating antisemitism for decades, thinks Musk, who's essentially the spokesman for Germany's AfD, was guilty of making an "awkward gesture." Oy vey.

 

3) Herr Elmo

     I'm not sure that giving an iconic Nazi salute at a presidential inauguration is what I'd call emblematic of a peaceful transfer of power.

     Echoing Laura Ingraham's despicable Nazi salute to Trump in 2016, Elon decided to give his own at the Capitol One arena after his speech today. 

     It didn't help matters any that CNN, in its coverage of the inauguration, associated Musk with the still nonexistent Department of Government Efficiency, which would have to be created and funded by Congress. Seriously, folks, they're not even trying to hide it, anymore. Oh, and the German Nazi movement's official Get Out The Vote chairman is getting an office in the West Wing for a job that doesn't even exist.

2) Donald Trump

     Donald Trump's "second presidency" is already paying dividends. For instance, he saved the Capitol from burning down today. He did that by pointedly not putting his left hand on the Bibles held by Melania, one of which being the Bible used for Abraham Lincoln's first inauguration in 1861. And he prevented a fire because he knew that if he touched it, the Bibles would have burst into flames.

     Keep in mind this is the same asshole who'd preened for the cameras on June 1st 2020 just moments after he used police and the military to clear the streets of peaceful protesters. We all remember that shameful photo op in front of St. John's so he could hold a Bible upside down while he scowled at the cameras. Knowing he had no intention of defending the Constitution, I'd bet dollars to doughnuts Trump was hedging his bets and not swearing on the word of God.

1) Donald Trump

     So, after Donnie Dumbo misnamed Spain as a BRICS nation (Naturally, Pravda didn't call their boy out on that colossal flub), threatened a 100% tariff on BRICS nations, announced he was changing Mount Denali's name to Mount McKinley and that he was going to take back the Panama Canal, Trump went straight to the Oval Office and signed nearly 100 Executive Orders. One of them was to pardon virtually every single one of the January 6th rioters, about 1500 of them. They include the worst of the worst, like Guy Reffitt and Enrique Tarrio.

     This hardly merits this series' usual snark and humor because many of these lunatics have become more radicalized than ever. Families are in danger. The public at large is in danger. The Proud Boys leader is free. The Oath Keepers' leader is free. The people who assaulted 140 cops and made four commit suicide are going to be loose on the streets and they're going to have an axe to grind. It shouldn't surprise anyone that a convicted criminal would set 1500 other criminals free because Trump threatened he would. What he did today in setting those maniacs loose was the ultimate trolling of the criminal justice system that he's always held in contempt ever since it set its sights on him.