The Real Meaning of Thanksgiving

     "The Mayor, who is a low IQ person... the mayor is incompetent and the governor is a big fat slob. So Governor Pritzker, if you're listening, let's get your act together. Invite us in. I had a little bit of a Pritzker joke, I was going to talk about Pritzker and size, but when I talk about Pritzker, I get angry because he's not letting us do the job.

     So I'm not going to tell my Pritzker joke. They have a very cute, little joke you know, some speech writer wrote some joke about his weight. But I would never want to talk about his weight. I don't talk about people being fat. I refuse to talk about the fact that he's a fat slob, I don't mention it."

     Then the pardoned turkeys were secretly decapitated and their bleeding carcasses flown to Mar a Lago.