Sunday, January 18, 2026

Top 10 Items in Machado's Swag Bag

      On January 15, Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado gave Donald Trump her Novel Peace Prize, awarded to her last year. The plaque in which the medal was encased read, "To President Donald J. Trump, In Gratitude for Your Extraordinary Leadership in Promoting Peace Through Strength, Advancing Diplomacy, and Defending Liberty and Prosperity." Ms. Machado left the White House with a swag bag with Trump's signature in gold. What were the top 10 items in Ms. Machado's swag bag?

10) The Epstein files.

9) A couple of red hats embossed with "Make Venezuela Great Again Or Else."

8) 100 shares for Trump Oil written in Sharpie.

7) A photostat of the cognitive test proving Trump correctly identified his own wife and a walrus.

6) The only gold Trump Phone in existence, with tracking software.

5) 30 year-old bags of peanuts from Trump Airlines.

4) An advance copy of Trump's autobiography, entitled, "I Won 2020 By a Lot".

3) Melania Trump's CD of Christmas songs, including, "Who Gives Fuck About Christmas?", "I Saw Daddy Kissing Karoline Leavitt" and "All I Want For Christmas is Fucking Renegotiated Prenup".

2) Aborted blueprints for the Trump Ballroom, including an underground bunker with jail cells for Ilhan Omar, AOC and Barack Obama.

1) Draft of new Venezuelan constitution that starts out with, "I Won 2020 By a Lot". 

posted by jurassicpork @ Sunday, January 18, 2026   0 comments

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