Half a Scaramucci

 

     By now, Trump has gotten rid of as many women as Jack the Ripper. First, there was Pam Bondi, who was shitcanned a day too late (April 2nd). Apparently, her performance before Congress was so disastrous that even Trump woke up long enough to give her the old heave-ho. Then, 18 days later he fired Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer after allegations persisted that she was having an affair with a staffer and that she was a raging alcoholic. 

     After a cooling off period lasting nearly a year, Trump then buried the axe in Kristi Noem, the Homeland Security Secretary, after persistent stories that she'd blown $220,000,000 of DHS money on promotional ads featuring herself (which Trump signed off on). As a consolation prize, he made her "special envoy" of the comic book-sounding "Shield of the Americas", which she just left two days ago.

     This week came the Double Event. Trump fired Kimberly Guilfoyle on national television through new Press Secretary, Katie Zacharia. Apparently, Trump had a problem with someone else in his administration shaking people down for money and threatening foreign officials.

     Guilfoyle's firing through Zacharia in her one and only press conference proved to the height of irony as Zacharia was herself rubbed out just hours ago (she's "transitioning out of the role", the administration said.). I guess her one press conference last Tuesday was a little too rocky. It lasted for less than 14 minutes and she'd only taken three questions, while keeping her baby blues glued to her binder.

     All that remains for Trump is to write a Dear Boss letter (To himself, natch) bragging about how sharp his Sharpie is.

     What all these women have in common, despite being incompetent morons, is that they embarrassed Trump (Yes, he's still capable of feeling chagrin) and they still bowed and scraped, every dick-slapped one of them, even after being, justifiably, publicly humiliated. And, true to form, in every case Trump refused to accept blame for his horrible hiring decisions.

     Typically, he blamed the media for dog-piling on Zacharia. It's all the media's fault because she did a creditable job impersonating the Hindenburg as it approached Lakehurst and stumbled on the first question she fielded. And it's also the media's fault because she tried to pass herself off as a lawyer (she tried to split hairs and say it wasn't OK to call herself an attorney but it was perfectly fine to refer to herself as a lawyer even though the words are synonymous and interchangeable), even though no one can find any evidence of her passing a state bar exam. Yeah, blame the Fake News, like Sean Hannity, who gave her a grilling recently on his show.

     So much for hiring nothing but the best.

     But, yeah. Trump has fired nothing but women from Cabinet level positions. Make of that what you will. Maybe by the end of his term, if he lives that long, he'll be able to boast of a female body count bigger than Ted Bundy's.