Friday, January 16, 2009

The Big 5-0

Well, it's a better way of looking at it than, "You're a half century old!" or "Your life, on an actuarial table, is better than two thirds over." I'd rather think of myself as the world's oldest adolescent. It's just a number, after all, right? A very large number.

Posting will be sporadic to nonexistent until the inauguration this Tuesday because I'm doing a mammoth ACOTW that'll be a yearly retrospective of the 50 biggest assclowns of 2008. I have a lot of writing to do, a lot of spaces to fill, so if ya'll have any suggestions as to who should make the grade, I'm open to them.


At January 16, 2009 at 11:55 AM, Anonymous ShortWoman said...

Happy 29th Birthday.... for the 21st time.

Every now and then I think about the kids who got pregnant in high school. The day came when the *babies* were old enough to drive. Then to vote. Then to buy booze, although I was still getting carded regularly then. In my case, it will be a few years yet till those babies turn 30.

At January 16, 2009 at 12:27 PM, Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

dude, it's all good. i have faith. be sure to give me a heads up on the posting so i have have the whore machine set up.

At January 16, 2009 at 1:38 PM, Blogger Rehctaw said...

William the Bloody should transcend polling and, until rendered impotent, remain prominently atop any list of assclowns. He is removed from accountability yet underpinned the debacle, defended, denied, dismissed evidence of, hawked, marketed, raised fundies and funds and shilled for the debacle. #1 alum and squatter over the blueprints. He composed the symphony of phonies passing for leadership. They danced to his tune.

Without him and his vault of bullshit validations, there would be no justification adequate to enable the heist.

At January 16, 2009 at 4:16 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

William the Bloody? Would that be the unfunny Billy Kristol?

At January 16, 2009 at 4:26 PM, Blogger nunya said...

Happy Birthday love :)

Make sure Molly McMooseturd is on the assclowns list please.

Please steal pic from here.

At January 16, 2009 at 6:19 PM, Blogger Firestarter5 said...


I'd hope to see Joe The Plumber in that list, he is after all, the last best hope the knuckledraggers sad as that may sound. I hope that twat eats shrapnel in Israel.

At January 16, 2009 at 6:52 PM, Blogger kimmyk said...

Happy Birthday JP!
I hope that you have a great day/night/weekend celebrating your milestone.

50's not old anyways. chicks dig older guys...guys who aren't afraid to say "I'm 50 and I take viagra!" (boom chica bow bow!)

WHAT?!? Oh yeah, definitely. I didn't mean you...per se. I meant other 50 year old men...

You've still got it goin' on!!

At January 16, 2009 at 6:52 PM, Blogger Fearguth said...

I hit the big 50 almost seventeen years ago and have never looked back. I'm sure there's still a lot of life left in you, JP.

At January 16, 2009 at 9:10 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Nunya: You know it. I've already written her segment. FS5: You'll get your wish. Joe the Asshead's going to kick off the list. Suffice it to say, you'll be stunned and amazed by this list that my alter ego's writing. I'm absolutely raising yhe bar on vitriol and nastiness on this one. Fearguth: Dude, keep those captions comin', please.

At January 16, 2009 at 9:31 PM, Anonymous tw said...

They'll fly by now, enjoy!

Don't forget John Negroponte. What an evil man. Death squad in Central America when he was there. Death squads in Iraq when he was there. hummmmm!!

At January 16, 2009 at 11:07 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

Happy birthday, Hot Stuff. The best half of your life hasn't even begun...

At January 16, 2009 at 11:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If, as I fear, the quality of life on this planet begins to decline for all but the richest soul-eating motherfuckers, be glad of the fact that you've lived the bulk of your existence during a time when the U.S. was a good place to be, and the abundance of the material world was available to average Porks in the middle class. You were in the best of all available worlds.

At January 17, 2009 at 6:27 AM, Blogger Juan Moment said...

Happy B'day JP, enjoy your 51st trip around the sun.

At January 17, 2009 at 4:38 PM, Blogger nunya said...

Can't wait, Love :)

At January 17, 2009 at 4:44 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

You won't be disappointed, babe. ;-)

At January 17, 2009 at 8:36 PM, Anonymous Comrade Rutherford said...

Happy Freakin' Birthday!

At January 18, 2009 at 11:48 PM, Blogger Rehctaw said...

Yes, Mr. Sunshine himself. William T. Bloody Kristol. As the ubiquitous neo-con propaganda catapulter, slinging more shill and determined not to let facts expose his strawmen.

Peace is war, up is down, occupation is support... cha-ching$$$.

At January 19, 2009 at 7:52 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Have you read his latest? The one whining about Bush deserving better than he's getting from us?

Oh, yeah. Billy boy's going down. Going down wicked hahd.

At January 19, 2009 at 6:58 PM, Blogger Stan B. said...

Belated best wishes on 5-0! Best thing about growing old, only good thing about growing old- you care even less about the things you don't care about (and more about the ones you do)...


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