Guy Fawkes, A Nation Turns its Blackened Eyes to You.

Dateline: Pottersville, Guy Fawkes Day

This is exactly what I'd love to hear on Fox "News" tonight, courtesy of a "terrorist" pirate TV signal. It's from V For Vendetta, with very minor corrections.

Good evening, Pottersville.

Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any dude. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle or the loss of a Senate majority, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are of course those who do not want me to speak. I suspect even now, ad hominems are being shouted at Fox TV cameras, and anonymous men and women with laptops will soon be logging onto tell us to shut up and suffer in silence. Why? Because while the verbal truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power.

Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there?

Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and, as usual, they will not be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

I know why you did it in 2000 and 2004 and 2008. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to George W. Bush then to Barack Obama. They promised you order, they promised you peace, and all they demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. However, on that date seven years ago today you chose to give back our Congress to those very same fiends who conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense.

So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Congress, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

Except if American Idol premieres a little early, that is. Then all bets are off.