Pic o' the Day
I should've made this yesterday since that was the 42nd anniversary of Hendrix's death. But better late than never, I suppose.
Labels: 47%, Jimi Hendrix, Mitt Romney
posted by jurassicpork @ Wednesday, September 19, 2012
1 comments
1 Comments:
I am a man of truth. I'm even willing to admit as Governor of Massachusetts,the state ranked 47th in job creation under my leadership. I'm not as good at creating jobs as I am in sending jobs to China,Malaysia and Mexico.
Not only am I a man of truth,but I'm a genuine renaissance man.
I'm a man of wealth,taste,elegance,style and fame. P***ing on the peons and convincing them that it's only rain...
is the nature of my game.
I'm very manly. I epitomize masculinity.
My hair is expensively sculpted and dyed twice weekly. I spend more time at the salon than most American women. Plus I spend twice as much for my cuts than John Edwards.
My finger nails are painstakingly manicured weekly as well. In fact,I spend more time having my nails done than the majority of women of the world.
I enjoy and become animated when viewing horse ballet. I disdain football and most sports. Horse dressage really resonates with me.
I spend an inordinate amount of time maintaining my fabulous year round tan. My tanning bed is custom made. I love my tanning bed.
I am a genuine fashionista. I developed a love for haute couture while spending my draft dodging years in an elegant chateau in France. I enjoyed eating quiche,sipping wine,nibbling on cheese (That's why they call me Willard) and spending time with European aristocrats. Plus,I have a thing for pink slips. I love giving pink slips to American workers. It makes me giggle like a little girl when I give them out.
Speaking of girls...
I'm also very mercurial when it comes to decision making and my opinions. I change my mind as often as the average teenaged girl. See,my detractors believe I cannot relate to the average American. Not so! I can relate to the girls!
I was born a multimillionaire. This doesn't happen to just anyone. Thus,I came to the conclusion that I was special and unique. I didn't need to spend my youth wasting my good looks and soft hands fighting in Vietnam. Wars are for the politically unconnected and for those born of meager origins. I am very special and unique. I was born to gently walk the well manicured lawns of America's most exclusive country-clubs. I was not born to stalk the sweltering jungles of Vietnam dodging bullets. Besides,my hair becomes unmanageable when the humidity is high.
Speaking of high...I had big ambitions for myself. I had big plans for the millions I would inherit. I was entitled to indulge any and all of my whims.
Most Americans are lazy. At least 47% of them are totally lazy. They'll never know the joy of horse dressage. The benefit of draft dodging. The pleasure of Offshore banking accounts. Or the orgiastic splendor of handing out pink slips.
S*cks to be them.
I promise to bring elegance back to the White House. Ann and I are doppelgangers for Ken and Barbie.
I hope I have your continued support. Better yet,you should attend one of my fundraising dinners! It's only $50,000 a plate.
Paul Ryan is my attack dog. He's been a good partner so far. He hasn't complained about having to ride on the roof of the car(s) we rent or upon the roof of our campaign tour bus.
I'm the captain and he is my Gilligan.
VOTE ROMNEY AND RYAN 2012
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