Friday, December 1, 2023

434

 (By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari)
That's how many people are now in the US House of Representatives and we all know why.
     As America is still reeling from the loss of disparate icons such as Rosalynn Carter, Henry Kissinger and Sandra Day O'Connor, our nation was ready for some good news for a change. George Santos was formally expelled today from Congress by a 311-114 vote with abstentions through two present votes.
    This is something, obviously, that many Americans never get to see in their lifetimes. Nearly four years ago, Duncan Hunter of California's 50th district, one of the most corrupt congressmen who ever lived, at least showed enough grace to resign after pleading guilty to a single felony count of misusing campaign finance funds.
    George Santos couldn't even muster enough grace to do that and he's been hit with a total of 23 counts in a superseding indictment that includes, among other charges, misuse of campaign finance funds that involved Botox and an Onlyfans porn subscription. In two minutes, Capitol Police officers changed the locks on Santos' old congressional office door. It had all the look of a small business owner changing the locks after firing an employee who was caught with his hand in the till.
    And that's pretty much what got Santos expelled by more than the necessary two thirds vote. He misused campaign finance funds, defrauded the American taxpayer by claiming unemployment benefits during the one time in his life he was gainfully employed and he lied about every facet of his personal life.
     Oh, and he got to be too much of a embarrassment for the Republican Party, some of it, at any rate. Speaker Mike Johnson made a lame, last ditch effort to save Santos' abbreviated, semen-flecked career as a federal lawmaker because he knows all too well that NY Governor Kathy Hochul holds the cards in NY-3. According to New York state law, when a vacancy opens in the House of Representatives, the governor has to issue a proclamation for a special election. The special election must be scheduled 10 days from the date the proclamation's issued. That could shrink the GOP's majority to a paper-thin three seats.
     

     So, no more seeing George Santos in his gaudy maroon Arthur Fleck blazer, no more Vish Burra, Santos' ever-smiling goon and professional hanger-on and his own Long Island used car salesman's jackets. No more listening to Santos screaming his head off about Israel and bizarre Michael Jackson baby-holding. Now, all we have to wait for is the trial.
     Santos had been such a noxious barnacle, even his balloon from Moveon.org couldn't be taken down, forcing activists to jump on the inflated effigy's head to bring it to ground.

"To hell with this place!"
T
echnically, however, unless he gets thrown in prison where he belongs, we may not see the end of Santos on Capitol Hill. As a former congressman, one of the perks and privileges is being able to go back to the House floor. When a reporter asked Santos if he would do that, he snarled, "To hell with this place!"
     His antipathy is justified, although not in the way he imagines in his funhouse mirror mind. Every member of Republican leadership, starting with Speaker Mike Johnson, filtering down to Majority Leader Steve Scalise, fellow failed Speaker wannabe and Majority Whip Tom Emmer and Conference Chair Elise Stefanik, all voted to keep Santos.
    But he was expelled in a broadly bipartisan vote largely thanks to a GOP clown sideshow that's quickly become the entire circus. This is the same caucus that's been obsessed with Hunter and Joe Biden, a Biden impeachment inquiry that's looking more and more like their non-existent health care plan and Trump's infrastructure bill.
   This is a caucus that's holding useless hearings on the "weaponization of the federal government" that Republicans never had the slightest problem doing in the past or even now, a weaponization that Trump's nakedly promising he'll deliver if he ever gets shoehorned back into the Oval Office, grievance sessions and haranguing witnesses they momentarily don't like.
    This is the same caucus that took several days and 15 ballots just to elect a Speaker then dumped him after nine months and took several more weeks to elect his replacement after three nominated candidates crashed and burned before settling on a nonentity named Mike Johnson. This is the same caucus that nearly shut down the government, twice, and still can't keep it open beyond next month.
    Yes, this is the same caucus that by all rights, by an Act of Congress, ought to accompanied by calliopes and somersaulting clowns and jugglers whenever any of them makes a public appearance. It's made up of other crooks, psychopaths and disingenuous douchebags who lie as easily as you and I exhale. Yes, to hell with that place. Time to put the adults back in charge.
     Expelling George Santos, conviction or no, sets a precedent. But getting rid of one clown will not make disappear a circus that's long overstayed its welcome.

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