Monday, February 13, 2012

Fox News at its Finest: Part XVI

(Mrs. JP and I still aren't out of the woods, yet, with a looming car repair bill and rent coming after the short month. Any Paypal donations would be immensely appreciated.)

"We're not racist. We just always prefer white candidates."

...because as we all know, history only counts when Democrats are in the Oval Office, especially if they're darker than the other 43 guys.

Newt Gingrich, thou art vindicated. The truth is that SNAP spending is slated to go down in 2013, but that's just liberal bias.

In other words, once upon a time, the President wasn't as nakedly corrupt as the Republican Party.

Irony, thy name is Roger Ailes.

Fox News isn't racist. In fact, they're completely color blind.

See? President Obama is a uniter!

Breaking: Human Genome Project reveals Barack Obama is Karl Marx's twin brother, Mein Herr!

And why is that, Congressman Torquemada? Probably for using his presidential prerogatives like the example below?

Ah, the infamous 29th recess appointment of Richard Cordray. Forget the fact that at the same point in his "presidency", George W. Bush made 61. But Cordray was the president's 29th.

Captain Combover strikes again.

Neither did Bush's BBQ in 2005. You remember that one, the one for which he left Cindy Sheehan in the dust so he could attend yet another Republican fundraiser? So, besides betraying your racism yet again, your point is...?

It's a shame Michelle Obama wasn't eating fried chicken and watermelon. Fox could've kept humping that for 10 or 20 news cycles.

Fox News lifted some stock footage of riots in Athens, Greece, then tried to pass it off as riots in Moscow. It worked because your typical Fox "News" viewer is too stupid to know the difference between demotic Greek and the Cyrillic alphabet of Russian.

...or the English language's Roman alphabet, for that matter.

Fox confrims Osama was killed in his little house on the prairies of Pakistan.

Fox "News", the official news network of Hannibal Lecter.

All the news that's fit to be shit.

As usual, Fox's math is as fuzzy as its grasp on literacy...

...and the unmistakable hallmarks of racism...

...and geography. In Roger Ailes' worldview, Bulgaria got evicted and moved into the former Yugoslavia's old location in Europe.

Meanwhile, quakes in Indonesia were felt as far away as Anchorage, Alaska, which automatically makes Sarah Palin an expert on Asian exports.

And in New England, just for a lark, Vermont and New Hampshire have also decided to switch places.

Then, to bring the point home again...

...and Nevada switched places with Utah.


At February 15, 2012 at 11:39 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

You know, I just knew even as I was making this post, that it would get completely ignored and wouldn't generate a single comment. And I'm supposed to continue doing this indefinitely... why?

At February 16, 2012 at 1:32 PM, Anonymous Dee in NJ said...

Wish I could help you, but we're hanging on by our eye teeth.

At February 16, 2012 at 1:43 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Don't apologize, Dee. Just sit back and enjoy the ride while it lasts.


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