Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Greetings From the Weeds

Hi, guys:
     I'm writing you from the weeds of the internet since I haven't had time to post in about two weeks. And if you're still monitoring my progress and/or care to know why, here are some reasons:
     I've just finished the final edit for Tatterdemalion, my historical thriller. Over the last week and a half, I've been researching appropriate literary agencies to whom to send this book in the hope that maybe, just maybe, more than half the time I'll get an apathetic form rejection letter sent to me from some barely-literate 22 year-old flunky right out of Smith or Oberlin. This sounds more exhaustive than you may think. I have to check to see if they're still in business, rep my genre, my subgenre, study submission guidelines, whether or not they even take submissions, if they do so by email, etc.
     I know most of the literary agencies out there but it still requires a shitload of research. In fact, I'd guess it takes at least an hour of that just to send out one book proposal. In the last week and a half, I've sent out 208. So do the math and chew on THAT.
     Anyway, since the line edit's finished, I'll upload the final version of my novel to my publisher's server first thing tomorrow and put it up for market regardless of what agents say (or don't say). And I'd be free and clear you'd think, right?
     Well, not exactly. I've been hit with a virus that puts up obscenely jiggling ads no matter where I go and Ad Block Plus has been rendered worthless. Just before this, Microsoft began stalking me (Yes, Bill Gates and not some proxy pretending to be in partnership with MS) has been literally stalking me on my own laptop and insisting that my OS is "counterfeit" and needs to be made legit before they shut down my own computer (Yes, those corporate douchebags can and have done that). Trying to rectify the situation has proved fruitless. They don't and won't care the OS I'm now using on my new/used Acer laptop ($200, purchased on Valentine's Day) was installed by the last asshole who owned it.
     Plus, the car's brakes went out not too long ago, costing me over $250, with another brake job looming ahead and the exhaust system's next, which means more headaches down the road. Adding to our financial woes are the last two sky-high gas bills that have practically put us in the poorhouse.
     And  the coup de grace, our biggest benefactor is retiring next month and will have to leave us high and dry. It'll be a struggle to come up with the rent much less the other $350 we'll need just to keep our heads above water.
     I know this is a lot to ask and is audacious since I haven't even posted for two weeks. But life's been thick as a brick and we just can't catch a break. Plus, Mrs. JP's 85 year-old Mom is seriously ailing and my better half is making some strident noises that she wants to go home before the old girl succumbs and each trip to Vero Beach costs us at minimum $400 (Don't forget, we live in central Mass).
     So if you have any spare change or a buck or two in the sugar jar, please consider making a donation to P'ville. As soon as I get these issues hammered out, I'll be back to blogging (for those of you who still follow me). But our backs are so hard up against the wall we can almost see the other side.


At March 11, 2015 at 11:53 AM, Blogger Mithras61 said...

Spoose got something similar recently. I cleared it off using Malwarebytes Antimalware (free version here: https://www.malwarebytes.org/mwb-download/). I'm not sure what it was because MBAM found 147 things to complain of. She didn't get the counterfeit Windows thing, but that's likely another malware infection.

Glad to hear the Tatterdemalion edit is finished. Keep us apprised where we can get a copy, please!

At March 11, 2015 at 12:28 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

I'm trying to upload it to my publisher's server right now but, of course, the page won't load despite my having the fastest connection in town. opposition everywhere. The entire universe is literally at war with me right now.


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