What the Fuck Was That?!

 

     Only in boxing does a contender take on a non-challenger as he's working his way up to a title fight. It doesn't play so well on a political debate stage.

     Yet that's precisely what we saw last night in Alpharetta, Georgia. Right wingers couldn't've possibly have tilted the debate more in favor of DeSantis, whose presidential campaign is sinking with all the speed and industry of the fatally-wounded Titanic. It was in Georgia. It was on Fox "News". And that utterly useless debate was moderated by none other than Sean Hannity, a man who still hasn't completely wiped Trump's bronzer off his nose.

     And yet, unless you spend 12 hours a day watching NASCAR traffic on ESPN, the consensus was that Gavin Newsom, California's governor, swept, mopped and polished the floor with Ron DeSantis, Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader boots and all.

     And, just because of DeSantis' very sociopathic, authoritarian nature, he is horribly unsuited for the very concept of a debate stage. I mean, the fact that he screened his dates by deliberately mispronouncing "Thai food" and rejecting those who corrected him is proof right there of his intolerant, authoritarian tendencies. After all, that's the whole concept of a debate- You advance your positions and the other person counters them with their positions.

     But what Florida's governor doesn't seem to accept is that there are two sides to every story, to every issue. DeSantis seems to think there's only one- His. For virtually the entire debate, DeSantis leered and smiled at Newsom and brought to mind a vastly imperfectly charming Mr. Goodbar a half second before he murders his date.

     And, again, the entire debate was pointless, as have been the first three GOP presidential debates featuring people who haven't a prayer at their party's nomination. Nothing was at stake so it didn't matter what the public's or the media's perception of who won is. Did I watch it? No. I caught clips on Twitter and chuckled at how DeSantis flailed like a dying mackerel at the bottom of a dinghy.

     But Newsom was essentially the winner before the debate had even begun. He brought his facts and figures, all of them accurate, plus he was more personable and nimble. When DeSantis boorishly tried to talk over him, Trump-style, Newsom just kept talking over him, not skipping a beat.

     He held DeSantis' white-booted feet to the fire and hit him on COVID deaths, gun deaths, his horrible record with voter suppression, anti LGBTQ legislation, book bannings, etc. All DeSantis could do was smile, sweat and lie. And maybe Newsom had an agenda by accepting this pointless challenge. DeSantis has been almost obsessed with Newsom, desperately trying to score points in his self-perceived battle between red states vs blue states. Maybe he just wanted to thrash DeSantis in a way that no one would forget.

     If so, mission accomplished.

     At one point, Newsom said. "There's one thing we have in common, neither of us will be the nominee for our party in 2024."

     This was pretty much the image many of us got regarding DeSantis' response: