What About America’s Ass?

The CIA covered its ass. Dick Cheney covered his fat, pasty ass. Lord knows George II covered his well-toned ass. The only question remains: As regards a momentarily recumbent al Qaeda, who’s going to cover our ass?

This alarming fact may be lost on most Americans: Last year, Congress approved a bipartisan Homeland Security bill that, among other things, created the funding for a new post: A nuclear terror czar. The new position would gather and analyze intelligence and to mobilize resources and manpower designed to prevent terrorist networks from acquiring nuclear weaponry and delivery systems. Not only would it centralize and greatly aid in focusing this worthy effort, this important post would also free up our 16 (known) intelligence agencies to pursue nonnuclear-related matters. The problem?

Well, does anyone recall the Senate Homeland Security Committee vetting George W. Bush’s nominee? No? Well, there’s a good reason for that:

George W. Bush, while constantly demanding that Congress do meatball legislation like M.A.S.H. surgeons do meatball surgery during a major offensive, never got around to nominating anyone to fill the post.

Not so much as a crony, nor an unqualified party hack, nor a lying neocon war hawk, nor a judge from the Arabian Horse Association, not even a 24 year-old college dropout douchebag.

Not a Republican creature stirred, not even a louse like John Negroponte.

And that, ladies and germs, is how seriously George W. Bush, a man who’s been ranting and raving since 2000 like a rubbing alcoholic-abuser on his first day of detox about non-existent nukes in Iran and taking the possibility of al Qaeda, Hezbollah, Hamas or any other terrorist organization barging their way into the nuclear family and becoming a small superpower.

Funny, that, since in the first days after 9/11, not long after Bush dismissed the PDB (.pdf file) of seven years ago and went fishing, the possibility of al Qaeda getting the Bomb was, justifiably, a very serious consideration in the Bush/Cheney White House. What’s happened since then that they feel they can turn their hawkish but jaundiced gaze toward a nuclear weapons program that hasn’t existed in over five years?

I mean, Bush and an alarmingly large percentage of Congress has already deemed part of Iran’s government as a rogue, terrorist state. We all know that Iran’s churning out the nukes like Dark Knight toys. Ergo, wouldn’t this be a good time to have a terror nuclear czar?

(Sorry to see that no one thought to repeat last year’s blogswarm. So it’s up to me and Think Progress.)