Posting Will Be Light to Nonexistent
My home life is disintegrating right now and a relationship of over 15 years may be coming to a halt. This just hit me out of the blue last Sunday night and right now I'm numb both mentally and emotionally. Politics is the last thing from my mind
So I just wanted to warn you all that posts here will be light to nonexistent for the time being instead of just dropping out of sight without warning.
15 fucking years, 15 of the last good years of my life. Ironically, it's my political extremism, or "negativity", is what's one of the root causes. According to my "better half", the only things keeping us together at this point is a fear of living alone and financial co-dependence.
I can't be other than what I am no matter what's at stake. I can't be an optimistic Pollyanna, I can't be a poet anymore, and I cannot live up to your idealized version of me.
Why do these things happen to good people? It boggles the mind and fills the heart with tears.
posted by jurassicpork @ Tuesday, February 10, 2009
25 comments
25 Comments:
What's more important? 15 years of your life, or some fucking posts that get a handful of comments?
That's what I thought.
I love me some US politics as well, but even politicians know when to say when. Ya think Obama sits down to dinner with his two daughters and discusses future talks with Iran?
Now if you'll excuse me I have to scour the 'net for nekkid beauties for my Half Nekkid Thursday post. Everyone needs a break from the straight and narrow eventually.
JP
15 years is a long time.
I believe that every decade of our lives we change to a great extent.
Don't fall apart.
Keep working; don't assign blame.
Your situation , however painful, is not unique.
In this period of transition, work on self-improvement
[physical and mental].
Do not doubt yourself; you see the world quite clearly- and it's going through a very ugly phase.
I'm sorry to hear this, JP. Little consolation, I know, but I've been there just recently - as have most. Wrong Side of the Tracks vs. Trust Fund Baby. After 6 years of bumping into this issue, we parted friends.
Yet 15 years is a long time, and if your relationship is worth saving, and only you two can determine this, I would damned sure give it a try. Sometimes a little reassurance and genuine TLC goes a long way towards salvation.
In any event, be glad you got 15 years - as opposed to two decades of solitude combined with economic ruin and the slander and abuse of crooked, lying southern politicos. Further, celebrate that you don't live down here - it really sucks...
And remember the bromide: "The art of accurate observation is called cynicism by those who don't have it." - GB Shaw
Whatever the end result: you'll get through this.
If you as passionate in your personal life as you are on this blog, you will get through this.
Well, that's weird. I just was asked to leave by my wife of 15 years, also. Last night was my first night on my own. Is it over? Dunno yet, hope not, but everything's been turned upside down. I feel your pain.
I've been with this guy for 15 years and I'm pretty fed up also. I'm stuck, though.
From personal experience, don't do anything stupid cause it's probably gonna look different tomorrow !
Not too Goddamned likely, tw. She's having surgery tomorrow and won't even be home. This has been building up for years, silently, quietly, all under the heading of "niceness."
Yeah, blindsiding me was being "nice." Thanks, hun.
Damn! I'm sincerely saddened to read this. As others have written,15 years is a long time. And, as always, intelligent thoughts expressed via the comments. I've always enjoyed my anonymity here and on the net...But, if you look up "Sucks At The Relationship Thing" in the Random House Webster's College Dictionary,you'll see next to those words, my printed visage gracing the page. Suffice to say,from reading your musings....you seem to be a genuine mensch. The only thing I can add to the previous comments... is to suggest for you to simply follow your instincts.
JP, hang in there man. As Artnoize wrote, 15 years is a long time, but you've got at least another 30 ahead of you. Should your partner really want to pull the plug than there is nothing you can do apart from being at ease with it.
Life is sad sometimes, you meet someone special who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.
As the ol saying goes, if you truely love something, set it free. If it comes back, its yours. If not, it wasn't meant to be. Anyhow, let me wish you strength and tenderness and your partner a successful surgery.
From my limited experience, break ups tend to be blessings in disguise. You'll be right mate.
Dude, I can't afford to be philosophical. I want to fight like Hell for this.
JP, for what it's worth, you have my best wishes, kindest sentiments, and prayers. While I wouldn't presume to know what you are going through, I do know something about fighting to save a relationship that is precious. I earnestly wish there were something I could do to help. In lieu of this, just be assured that you have my support and respect.
Sorry to hear it, JP. Mrs. Bukko and I are different in many ways, especially emotional tenor. The thing we share is the same mania for politics. Even when we're fighting, the neutral topic that we can talk about is how much we hate Bush and all the crookedness that's gone on.
Politics is obviously important to you. You've mentioned before how Mrs. Pork prefers crime shows. I don't see you as negative; I see you as realistic. But some people would rather focus on fantasy than unpleasant reality.
It boils down to "What do I share with this other person? What was it that got us together those many years ago? Is it still there? Can it come back?" I hope it can for you two.
Gonna miss you JP, you're the highlight of many evenings. You gotta do whatever you gotta do, but I hope you don't go away completely.
Relationships are real hard. I hope however things turn out you don't beat yourself up over it too bad. Stay grounded man, and good luck.
Fills the heart with tears? If you mix marriage and politics the way you mix metaphors, then no wonder there's trouble on the home front.
No, we're done. It's over. She wants me only for my money, which is ludicrous, considering how little I take home after taxes and child support.
Soon as I get the money together, I'm outta here and I'll start posting again, I suppose, from some other snail mail and IP address.
Either way, after this morning, it's over.
Have to tell you this:
Back about 5 years ago or so, I was reading some goddamned blog or another. Being a name only Democrat, I dropped a comment on your blog. You came back with a reply to my comment and also said you would rather crawl into a warm bath and slit your wrists than be a republican. I took your thoughts to heart and continued to read and follow some of your bloglinks.
I guess I have you to blame for getting knocked of the fence.
I've learned to see the no good lying conservative right wing retard christopath republican motherfuckers for what they are.
For adjusting my path on this journey through life, I want to say Thank You!
Live long and prosper, grasshopper!
Marriage. I only made it to the 5 year mark or thereabouts. Twice. I still occasionally speak to my first ex, and am (uncharacteristically I guess) best friends with the second.
I have come to think the entire model is flawed. If it was not so terribly flawed, so many people inside of it would not be so eager to get out (while those outside -- even those of us who have failed multiple times to make it work -- are often eager to get in).
It just makes no sense. I wish you luck finding your way. It can be done.
I am sorry to hear about this. You readers love you and cherish your posts.
Take all the time you need, we'll be here for you when you have a minute.
Good luck and come back to your blog when it feels right. It is always fresh and very interesting. You will be missed.
17 years. But 5 years before it ended I concluded it was probably hopeless, & my struggle to change the dynamics is what slowly ruined it for her. Oddly, I thought she also was discontented when she was not. Her subsequent (& enduring) relationship was everything I didn't want our's to become.
Let me offer some unsolicited words in a sad hour. We each have one voice & one vote, & our greatest power is that which touches those closest to us, & our keenest observations are not of politics but of the homely dandelion growing out of a crack in the sidewalk. It is just as important - maybe more - to witness to the existence of that dandelion as it is to rage on about Repuglicans. Take care.
Bob makes me case for me...a friggin dandlion growing out of a crack in the sidewalk. You know this wuss sits down to pee.
Because you're not this guy theres Helzberg Diamonds.
Yeah, they want someone with a set of balls like the guy who's too big of a pussy to sign on as anything other than anonymous. I'd ask you about your divorces, mate, but I realise you're too much of a weenie to ever find someone who'd consent to marry you. Not even that fat chick you wanted to ball when you were 26...
JP,
I'm a female boomer, left my 12 year marriage over two years ago with nothing but the clothes on my back (packed into the back of my van) and moved from Wisconsin to Washington State to start all over. I decided at that time that for the first time in my life I would live my life based on what is best for me and simplify as much as possible. There's something to be said for a zen-like life.
I am now nearly finished with my course in technical college in a "traditional" male field, have met some great friends, and am now officially a "cougar" (am seeing someone who's 10 years younger) along with the "old" long, time male friend from my Army days at Ft Bragg in the 70s.
Point is this: If, in fact, this is the end, make the most of the new opportunities you have to live your life for you and according to what you want to do.
The very best to you as you embark on this new adventure and make the most of it!
Post a Comment
<< Home