Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Motherfuckers Day


Sam Stein at the Huff Po plays the Rod Serling role by dispassionately giving us today's rundown of the talking head Sunday circuit brought to you by the Republican Twilight Zone.

Submitted for your disapproval: Hate the sinner but love the sin, starring Dick Cheney.

Meet Richard B. Cheney, a man so completely and communicably insane that he actually warps reality around him, a gigantic Koolaid water balloon, if you will. On Faze the Nation, Cheney once again fully embraced the meme that torture is good for you, good for me, good for the nation, comrades and that we may have saved hundreds of thousands of lives for the pittance we received after countless hundreds, if not thousands, of waterboarding sessions.

Of course, Dick, who got the full half hour on Faze the Nation, was careful not to mention Bush's name but while the sinner may have been repudiated, Cheney united with the GOP in embracing the sin.

Dead Eye Dick also said he'd rather have Rush Limbaugh (There's a fresh face for you) in the GOP than Colin Powell, saying he didn't know that Powell was still a Republican.
"I just noted he endorsed the Democratic candidate for president this time, Barack Obama. I assumed that that is some indication of his loyalty and his interest."

Yes, I guess we can say the same about Joe Lieberman since he signaled his true interests and loyalties when he sided with John McCain. Speaking of whom...

Our second segment of this trilogy of trivial minds stars John McCain, a man who never met a 527 group, lobbyist or special interest group he didn't love. Let's call this middle segment, John McCain: The Man Who Loved Too Much.

John McCain is a man who has switched positions more times than a double-jointed porn star with ADHD. So imagine our surprise when McCain told George Stepha... Stephe... you know who I'm talking about, on ABC's This Weak that he doesn't want to change his stance on anything and neither should Republicans. In fact, "Maverick" McCain actually said,
I think our policies, the principles of our party, are as viable today as they have been in the past. In all due respect, the previous administration, by letting loose spending get completely, out of control, by betraying some of those principles of our party, cost us a couple of elections.

Now, liberal moonbats would be tempted to say that the GOP's ever-tightening embrace of their core "principles", not eschewing them, is what cost them "a couple of elections," as if the majority of American voters are still in line with the most ruinous agenda since the Nazi Party. Actually, it cost them more than that- it cost them Congress, the White House and credibility with all but Bailout Barons who've never gotten into a cold car and those who think beer-soaked pork rinds make suitable baby food.

Rounding out the trilogy is Newt Gingrich, the anti-Tip O'Neill. In "I Know What I Am, But What Are You?", Newt accused President Barack Obama on Fox News Someday of being "a McCarthyite", something for which, if true, you'd think the GOP would be grateful, considering the lunatic fringe of the conservative movement has been practically holding seances trying to resurrect the spirit of the boozy, paranoid senator from Wisconsin.

By that, I guess he meant that Joe McCarthy, when he wasn't seeing Communists among his pink elephants, wanted to put "terrorists on welfare." Other than that, I cannot fathom how Gingrich made the leap from "liberal" to "McCarthyite" so I leave it up to you to parse his, well, thought processes.

OK, Newt, since we're talking about public assistance, how come the vast left wing media conspiracy is bound and determined to perpetuate a welfare state for the most irrelevant Republican assclowns that are still taking in breath? Watching a former VP, a former Speaker of the House and a soon-to-be former senator who crashed and burned in the last presidential election as if he was still flying jets in Vietnam, one is awe-struck that these "reputable" media outlets still seriously entertain what these maniacs have to say.

All this electronic Sunday funnies edition across three networks needed was a few sound bytes from Tom DeLay and a live video feed streamed in from Duke Cunningham's jail cell.

6 Comments:

At May 10, 2009 at 5:22 PM, Blogger Bukko_in_Australia said...

You don't really have trouble with Stephanopolous, do you?

I get so many Greek patients here. Had a bloke named Konstaninides Athanasopoulos last week. Oddest Greek name was Mavromoustakakis. (Her husband said the name meant "black moustache" in Greek. I didn't make any joke that it might have been HIS name, but SHE was the one with the mo'. I was thinking it, though.)

I've always been good at pronouncing tongue-twisting names, so when I hand over my patients to the oncoming shift, I always make sure to roll out the full multi-syllabic version, where they would just say "Mr. A" or "Mrs. M." It's my small way of being cocky.

 
At May 10, 2009 at 5:24 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Bukko: I've long admired your ability to stay laser-focused on topic, always.

 
At May 11, 2009 at 12:17 AM, Anonymous ShortWoman said...

You still *read* HuffPo??

 
At May 11, 2009 at 7:41 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

I've always liked Sam Stein.

 
At May 11, 2009 at 10:49 AM, Blogger Bukko_in_Australia said...

For me, part of the fun of leaving comments on blogs is going on weird tangents.

 
At May 11, 2009 at 10:54 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

That reminds me, when is Big Papi gonna hit a fucking home run?

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Top 10 LA Radio Shows That Are Rated Higher Than Rush Limbaugh's
  • Top 10 Reasons Operation American Spring Went Flat
  • Top Ten Facts of the MH370 Air Disaster
  • Top 10 Tips for GOP Congressmen Running Against Women
  • Top 10 Signs Walmart's Mistreating its Workers
  • Top 10 Diversions John McCain Found During Syria Hearing
  • Top 10 George Zimmerman Excuses for Speeding.
  • Top 10 Reasons Paula Deen Got Fired by the Food Network
  • Top Ten Ways Pope Francis is Deviating From Convention
  • Top 10 Reasons For the Pope's Resignation
  • Top 10 Emails Hacked From the Bush Family's Email Accounts
  • Top 10 Lies Told by Mitt Romney at the 2nd Debate.
  • Top 10 Examples of How Hard the Campaign Trail is on Ann D. Romney.
  • Top 10 Ways to Tell The Boston Red Sox Are Finished.
  • Top 10 Things Mitt May be Hiding in His Tax Returns.
  • Top 10 Events at the Romney Olympics.
  • Mitt Romney's Top 10 Wild & Crazy Moments.
  • Top Ten Reasons Why Dick Cheney Got a Heart Transplant.
  • Top 10 Facts About Tonight's New England/Denver Game.
  • My Top 10 Resolutions.
  • Top 10 Rejected Slogans of the Romney Campaign.
  • Top 10 Reasons Herman Cain Suspended His Campaign.
  • Top 10 Trending Topics on Twitter During #OWS Eviction.
  • Top 10 Herman Cain Pickup Lines.
  • Top 10 Changes Since Anthony Weiner Decided to Resign.
  • Top 10 Inaccuracies re bin Laden's Death.
  • Top 10 Ways to Prevent a TSA Patdown.
  • Top Ten Things Not to Say When You're Pulled Over.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Bowed Out of the Presidential Race.
  • Top 10 Ways Evangelicals Will Prepare for the Rapture II.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Today's Parliament Inquiry into News Corp.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why There Was No Vote on the Debt Ceiling Last Night.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Dick Cheney's Upcoming Memoir.
  • Top Ten Ways Americans Will Observe the 10th Anniversary of 9/11.
  • Top Ten Advances in Women's Rights in Saudi Arabia.
  • Top Ten Inaccuracies in Bill O'Reilly's Book About Lincoln.
  • Top Ten Suggestions From the Cat Food Commission.
  • Top Ten Worst Moments in George W. Bush's Presidency.
  • Top Ten Facts in George W. Bush's Memoir.
  • Top Ten Reasons Terry Jones Postponed His Koran Burning
  • Top 10 Causes for Dick Cheney's Congestive Heart Failure
  • Top Ten Ways That Jan Brewer Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo
  • Top Ten Demands in Sarah Palin's Contract
  • Top Ten Whoppers in Karl Rove's New Book
  • Top 10 Items Left Behind in Rush Limbaugh's Apartment
  • Top Ten Things Barack Obama said to Rush Limbaugh in the Hospital
  • Top Ten Bizarre Promos Offered by the New Jersey Nets
  • Top 10 Bush Executive Orders Labor Wants President Obama to Repeal
  • George W. Bush's Top Ten Lesser Achievements
  • Boolean Bozoism

  • #19
  • #18
  • #17
  • #16
  • #15
  • #14
  • #13
  • #11
  • #10
  • Kindle in the Wind, my dedicated site for my novels.
  • Christwire.org: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Matt Taibbi's blog.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • Think Progress.
  • Hullabaloo, Digby's place.
  • The General.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Bildung Blog, some of the funniest and sharpest captions in the b'sphere.
  • The Carpetbagger Report.
  • Newshounds.
  • Sadly, No!
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Oliver Willis, "Like Kryptonite to Stupid."
  • Brad Blog.
  • Fark.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Utah Savage.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • The artist formerly known as Politits. The politics are still liberal.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • The Randi Rhodes Show.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Politickybitch (Nunya).
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • Michael's Moore's official website.
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Blue Gal's Blog.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Salon.com.
  • Raw Story.
  • Watching America.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Newsy.com, comparative, nonpartisan analysis of the media.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Urban Dictionary.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom. What Mikey Weinstein has found will make your head explode.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • The Pensito Review.
  • Find Articles.com, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • The Talented Cafe, a resource for writers and artists.
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • Dictionary.com.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia, an invaluable research tool.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • anysoldier.com
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger

    http://DeeperLeft.com