Monday, July 13, 2009

Leave Sarah Palin Alone!!!

She's a human being!!!!

OK, while I'm not ready to go drag, hang ugly sheets behind me and wail on Youtube about how we've all ganged up on another over-the-hill cheerleader, I do have a point to make and it ought to be driven home by the glitzmeisters over at MSNBC when they're not too busy covering the decomposition of Michael Jackson's corpse.

First of all, let me begin by stating that, like Mitt Romney, Levi Johnston's head is good for nothing but as a storage facility for hair product. There is something fundamentally wrong with a country that thrusts an organ donor like Levi Johnston on national television as much if not more often than Barack Obama. The frenzy surrounding anything that smells remotely like a moose or a hockey puck is such that Johnston, at best an uncredited extra in the pathetic dumbshow that was the presidential race, is still allowed to call his own press conferences over eight months after the fucking election.

That said, what is the earthshaking revelation from this unbiased, jilted ex-boyfriend and former son in law? That he wouldn't vote for Palin in 2012 and that Sarah Palin was setting her eyes on greener pastures?

Oh horrors! A Republican dreaming of leaving public office and making a killing in the private sector? Just when you think you've heard it all. As if Sarah Palin was the first Republican in the history of politics to quit an elected office so she can cash in on her celebrity or knowhow, a phenomenon that is so wearisomely common that it's not even worth linking to countless examples of Republicans who quit in order to become lobbyists or corporate executives... none of which Palin has even done.

So she was dreaming of a book deal worth in excess of seven to nine million dollars. The only reason that gets me pissed is because I have a great novel in the can already that is getting strenuously ignored by every literary agency in the land while they trip over themselves running after Sarah Palin, Levi Johnston, Joe the Plumber and Dick Cheney.

But is it a crime for Sarah Palin to sell out and cash in considering America's sick fascination with her and her inbred brood? No, that's capitalism and it's Sarah Palin's right to clean up if the demand for glitzy trash is out there.

So if the "liberal media" is looking for a real albatross to hang around Palin's neck, all they have to do is tell Levi Johnston to shut the fuck up and dust off those old stories about the Wasilla Sports complex and how the building materials wound up in the renovation of her home. Or how she abused her public office by persecuting a state police official in the wake of a divorce from a family member.

But Sarah Palin leaving office a year and a half early so she can rake in the moolah from a once-in-a-lifetime book deal that she'll never get again? That's not criminal, it's smart. It's what she did as mayor of Wasilla and as Governor of Alaska that was criminal and if the "liberal media" is going to earn its reputation as the Spanish Inquisition of the Republican Party, then they'd better remember that if they want to continue making hay out of Sarah Palin.


At July 14, 2009 at 3:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"a storage facility for hair product" . . . laughing out loud again. thanks.

At July 14, 2009 at 4:13 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Oh, so I'm not writing in white font! Thanks for the chuckle, wifey. At least I know that someone's reading me.

At July 15, 2009 at 1:51 AM, Anonymous litigation funding said...

By quitting as governor Sarah Palin stays true to her brand and is poised to grow.
Everyone -especially the political pundit class- seems to be calling Sarah Palin a loser, a quitter, a committer of political suicide by leaving office mid-term.

They are all very wrong.

At July 15, 2009 at 1:58 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Yeah, whatever.

I still say within two years, she'll be sucking Ron Jeremy's cock for boxed lunches.

At July 21, 2009 at 12:06 PM, Blogger Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Fantastic! A great piece on Gidget von Braun.

You've got a great site here!

Tom Degan

At July 21, 2009 at 9:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ litigationfunding

At July 21, 2009 at 9:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

@litigation funding:
By quitting as governor Sarah Palin stays true to her brand

Stop there. You've said it all.

At July 21, 2009 at 10:08 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

That would be Brand Ex, as in Ex Governor.


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