"When Captain America Throws His Mighty Shield..."

...he then apologizes for his unerring accuracy when he hits the crazy bad guys."

Doesn't have the same ring as the original jingle we listened to as kids, does it?

Yet Marvel Comics is in, dare I say it, hot water with the tea baggers because of Captain America #602, which essentially revealed the Tea Party movement for the unbridled, gun-toting racist lunatics they truly are.

Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada swiftly leapt into action faster than the Flash with the turkey trots to explain what had happened: When CA #602 was about to go to press, copy editors spotted that some of the signs in the protest scene were blank so he then commissioned the letterer to fill in the blanks. So the letterer pulled slogans from real life tea party signs off the internet.

But the real bone of contention came when the tea baggers were tied into the storyline with a white supremacist group called "The Watchdogs." Michael Johns, board member of the Nationwide Tea Party Coalition somehow managed to keep a straight face as he piously informed us, "The Tea Party movement has been very reflective of broad concerns of all Americans. Membership is across ethnic, religious and even political lines."

Right, that's why we saw such a broad cross section of white people and people of color during the tea party protests, including a generous sampling from equally belligerent, gun-toting liberal activists, a movement culminating in Opryland in Nashville, TN.

You know, all holding up non-racist signs such as this one, for instance:


...and this one...


...and this other fine example of racial tolerance...


...and this one.


And, regarding its ethnic diversity, we have this...


...and this...


Behold the new face of citizen activism and from the City of Brotherly Love!


So I suppose it's just a coincidence that the artist just happened to make half the teabaggers in his protest scene look like the Unabomber. Maybe he, too, was getting his cues from what was already posted on the internet. Bottom line, the tea partiers seem to be saying, "How dare you reveal our stupidity to the nation and in front of the nation's youth?"

To make matters worse, the comic's author, Ed Brubaker, immediately bowed before the tea party mothership of Fox "News" and promised that Marvel would never, ever, in any edition of any comic, mention the words tea party ever again. That's right, Ed, keep a civil tongue on Rupert's jackboot.

Obviously, the lunatic fringe had it in for Brubaker because from his semi-anonymous forum on Twitter, he'd previously written, "Memo to (Michele) Bachman and the rest of the tea crowd -- We had a revolution already, it's called an election."

Nine days later he tweeted, "What did we learn this week? That Sarah Palin is a lying idiot. Hey, welcome to 2008 again."

Judson Philips, the tea party founder, actually said, "It's really sad to see what has traditionally been a pro-America figure being used to advance a political agenda."

You mean kind of like this?


And like this?


Bottom line, the tea baggers are embarrassed because, unlike the Aryan Brotherhood, KKK, John Birch Society and other well-organized racist organizations, they are an unorganized mob of screaming, post-literate, pre-apocalyptic, glue-huffing zombies who only wish their racism was organized and out in the open.

Finally, a gesture of thanks from all the tea bag-licking proles for Fox's generous support: