Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Top 30 Politician on Politician Insults


This past year, Flavorwire published three highly successful and hilarious lists of the greatest insults from the worlds of rock music, literature and cinema. Incredibly, they omitted a list of some of the fiercest insults from politicians on other politicians. Unfortunately, in our politically-correct day and age, good political putdowns are far and few between. Yet every once in a while someone will get off a good zinger. What follows are 30 of my favorite political insults of all time.

30) Winston Churchill on Prime Minister Clement Attlee: "He is a modest man with much to be modest about."

29) Winston Churchill on Prime Minister Clement Attlee: “An empty cab pulled up to Downing Street. Clement Attlee got out.”

28) Winston Churchill on Prime Minister Lord Rosebery: “He was a great man in an era of small events.”

27) Winston Churchill on Neville Chamberlain: “He looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe.”

26) Benjamin Disraeli on William Gladstone: “If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune. If anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.”

25) MP Jonathan Aitken on Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher: “She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.”

24) Abraham Lincoln on Stephen Douglas: “His argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death.”

23) Gerald Ford on Ronald Reagan: “Ronald Reagan doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange.”

22) Adlai Stevenson on the Republican Party: “If they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.”

21) Adlai Stevenson on Richard Nixon: “The kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.”

20) John Quincy Adams on Thomas Jefferson: “A slur upon the moral government of the world.”

19) Andrew Jackson: “I have only two regrets: I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun.” John C. Calhoun was his Vice President.

18) Assistant Secretary of the Navy Teddy Roosevelt on President William McKinley: “(N)o more backbone than a chocolate eclair.”

17) John Montagu: (after a heated exchange with John Wilkes) "Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!"
John Wilkes: “That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles or your Lordship's mistresses.”

16) Barney Frank on George W. Bush: “People might cite George Bush as proof that you can be totally impervious to the effects of Harvard and Yale education.”

15) The Republican Party on President John F. Kennedy (paraphrased): “The president’s rocking chair is a perfect symbol of his presidency: It gives the illusion of movement without actually moving forward.”

14) Former Sen. Bob Dole on George W. Bush: “Well, he got this new globe for Christmas,” dispelling rumors that George W. Bush lacks a grasp of foreign affairs.

13) Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle: “Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy.”

12) Golda Mier to Moshe Dayan: “Don't be so humble, you're not that great.”

11) Bob Dole on Carter, Ford and Nixon: “History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon -- See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.”

10) Jim Hightower on George HW Bush: “If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.”

9) Pat Buchanan on Bill Clinton: “Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.”

8) Lyndon Johnson on Gerald Ford: “He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.”

7) Senator William E. Jenner on New York Governor W. Averell Harriman: “He’s thin, boys. He’s thin as piss on a hot rock.”

6) Georgi Plekhanov, Russian Social Democrat, on Lenin: “You show the bourgeoisie your behind. We, on the contrary, look them in the face.”

5) Georges Clemenceau on David Lloyd George “Oh, if I could piss the way he speaks!”

4) The conservative Winston Churchill once entered a men's room to find Labor’s Clement Attlee standing at the urinal. Churchill took a position at the other end of the trough. “Feeling standoffish today, are we, Winston?” Attlee asked. “That's right. Every time you see something big, you want to nationalize it.”

3) Then Conservative leader David Cameron on Prime Minister Tony Blair: “He was the future once.”

2) Australian MP Paul Keating on John Hewson: “He’s like a shiver waiting for a spine.”

1) TX Governor Ann Richards on George W. Bush: “Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.”

5 Comments:

At October 11, 2011 at 10:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

INSULT to US ALL: "Sarah, if the American people had ever known the truth about what we Bushes have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - George Bush Senior speaking in an interview with Sarah McClendon in December 1992.

 
At October 12, 2011 at 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

best ever is the molly ivins line about buchanan's speech being better in the original german.

 
At October 12, 2011 at 12:34 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

I know. But I wanted to restrict my list to just politicians on other politicians. And, you'll notice, it's nonpartisan. I let the Republicans have a few of their better ones.

 
At October 12, 2011 at 1:36 AM, Anonymous Kudos to Keatos said...

Cheers for the shout-out to Paul Keating. He was bloody brilliant with the barbed tongue.

 
At October 13, 2011 at 5:29 PM, Anonymous BDBlue said...

The Ann Richards quote was about the father (George HW Bush) and not the son. IIRC, it's from the 1988 Democratic Convention.

Great list!

 

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