Across the Twitterverse

     Since your master of ceremonies finally, finally got his galley proof of Tatterdemalion printed and shipped to my house, things will be full speed ahead from now until the end of the year for the final assault in this third and final revision phase. That means blogging (save for Election Night, natch) may be a little thin for the rest of the year. But rest assured, the paucity of posts will be worth it because yours truly will finally do another Assclowns of the Year retrospective. Yes, folks, 50 of 2014's biggest assclowns will be raked over the coals of lib'ral indignation in Assclowns #100, which will be packed with all-new material. In the meantime, however, please accept this substitute for actual blogging in the form of the dubious aphoristic wisdom of my Twitter feed.

Only racist, delusional #ammosexuals would hail a cop cowering from blacks as a hero while vilifying an innocent black kid. #gunsense #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 10, 2014

If it's a fact that there are no poisonous snakes in Maine, then will someone please explain Paul LaPage?
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 10, 2014

"Hi, I'm Rush Limbaugh..." #BadSpeedDatingOpeners
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 9, 2014

"You'll realize that five state murder spree was overblown once you take the five minutes to get to know me." #BadSpeedDatingOpeners
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 9, 2014

"Can you please help me get this pubic hair out from between my teeth?" #BadSpeedDatingOpeners
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 9, 2014

"Sorry I smell like semen and Vaseline. You know how it is." #BadSpeedDatingOpeners
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 9, 2014

@SusanMaylone @pinkyprancy Frank Artiles looks like a WWE wrestler's manager. Paul Bearer had more charisma than Artiles.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 8, 2014

Baby elephants are so adorable. It's a shame they grow up to be Republican mascots.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 7, 2014

Why the hell did #liberals ever allow #RWNJs to co-opt the word for "neoliberalism"? There's nothing either new or liberal about it. #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 7, 2014

Thanks to the SCOTUS's #RWNJs & their obsession with "states' rights", 5 more states can now proceed with gay marriage. #LGBT #teambisexual
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 7, 2014

Scott Lively is in desperate need of a prison shower intervention. #LGBT #teambisexual #teamgay #homophobia
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 6, 2014

@MikeLoBurgio @KansasGOP Sam Brownback is so tight-assed you couldn't pull a pin out of his ass with a tractor.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 6, 2014

#GOP Outreach Program: "Why won't you lazy, tax-dodging nigger, spic faggot cunts vote for us?" #tcot #TGDN #UniteBlue #LibCrib #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 4, 2014

Generalizations are always wrong.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 4, 2014

If you #RWNJs & #tcot think @SarahPalinUSA's an intellectual leviathan, odds are you don't know how to properly spell or pronounce either.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 4, 2014

Every time I see Tim Tebow's talking head on TV, I automatically conjure up images of A1 Steak Sauce.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 4, 2014

At present, the only thing needed to elevate the national culture is a steel cage match featuring an Oz Munchkin and an Oompa Loompa.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 2, 2014

Rush Limbaugh, with his increasingly insane comments to pump up ratings, is like a dinosaur thrashing to escape a tar pit. #RWNJs #tcot #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 1, 2014

Just when I begin to feel a glimmer of hope for the US & Mankind in general I make the mistake of going to @RawStory & all hope's abandoned.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 30, 2014

@thedahlimmama @zzelda01 About the only thing Bush was good for besides bloating the MIC was preening in front of soldiers who had a pulse.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 26, 2014

WTF were the writers of THE DAILY SHOW thinking? They seriously jumped the shark on Zayn. #thedailyshowgonetoofar #OneDirection
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 26, 2014

I think the reason why the US alone is sliding back into the 19th century is because of the current epidemic of consensual stupidity. #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 25, 2014

The Republican Party so slavishly rips off the fascist agenda that the Neo Nazis could sue for residuals. #tcot #RWNJs #p2 #p21 #LibCrib
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 25, 2014

Attorney General Eric Holder will announce his resignation today.He says he wants to spend more time with his testicles on Wall Street.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 25, 2014

@AgainstTeaParty @ohiomail How do you get 310,000 #Teabaggers in one place? Lots and lots of free pork rinds, biscuits and gravy.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 23, 2014

Listening to Rush Limbaugh or Fox "News" is exactly the same as dumpster diving in the marketplace of ideas. #RWNJs #LibCrib #UniteBlue #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) September 21, 2014