Now You Know Why They Call Him Tailgunner Ted

The #CruzSexScandal: The Cuban Mistress Crisis.

— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) March 25, 2016

     Since there are only two guys left on the seedy side of the tracks, you just know the private eyes who'd allegedly dug up this dirt on Ted Cruz were paid by the Trump campaign, especially after they'd both turned their respective Twitter accounts into a Hunter Moore feed by posting nude pics of their wives and shamelessly sexualizing them in the process.
     But then again, you have to wonder why Ted Cruz's Super PAC suddenly decided to give Carly Fiorina's Super PAC a cool half million dollars six months ago. Gee, you don't think that was hush money, do you? After all, this wasn't just one mistress that Cruz has been allegedly hiding but five. So with whom do you think Cruz had bumped uglies?

     As always, I'll leave it for you to judge.