Saturday, August 27, 2016

The Enemy of Mine Enemy...

(It seems the world's most beloved online stalker is about to be sued for $10,000,000 for copyright infringement by someone in Hollywood. Click on the links for the backstory of this delicious and delightful turn of events. Yet suffice it to say I'd like to offer my help in moving the inevitable along. Consider this the cybernetic equivalent of pulling on a hanged man's legs to speed along the process of execution.)

or An Open Letter to Mr. James Nguyen, director of Birdemic

Moviehead Pictures
7119 Sunset Boulevard
Hollywood, CA 90046

Dear Mr. Nguyen:

     I've recently heard and read about your current troubles concerning one Joseph David Chadwick of Tel Aviv, Israel. I won't belabor what's already obvious to you. Yet the reason I'm writing to you is because I've had past, present and ongoing experiences with this noxious right wing individual who seems to think in his megalomaniacal little mind the DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act) should be suspended for him. This is part and parcel with conservative "thought", for want of a better word, that certain laws ought to be suspended or that, at the very least, they not be enforced when right wingers choose to break them.

     As stated, Jailbird Joe, as I prefer to call him as he has a police record in Utah, and I have had our... differences, let's call them, that began over two years back when he did not get a follow back from me on Twitter. Pretty soon, he began stalking and harassing me on my blog then, when that wasn't sufficient, he began trolling my Amazon product pages as well as my Goodread account and began putting up bogus one star reviews and ratings of every one of my novels without either buying or reading them. One such "review" of my novel AMERICAN ZEN, was so toxic, garbled with hate and rage and incomprehensible that Amazon.com (in the shape of things to come) took it down twice and Goodreads did the same.
     Essentially, Chadwick and his twin brother John Daniel (currently in Los Angeles dodging his child support obligations) are, by the account of those who had the misfortune and poor judgment to personally know them, amuse themselves by picking fights with random, anonymous people on the internet. Apparently, noticing these ankle-biters and calling attention to their rather disturbing patterns of behavior only fuels their obsession and eggs them on to greater acts of depravity.
     This is a person who is not only trying to destroy my book sales with his fake one star "reviews" but also has no problem with visiting my blog, on some days, 600-700 times, as he did last April 1st (I can prove it in countless screen grabs I'd taken that day and on others). I'd inadvertently reunited him with his future wife, who is also a plainly mentally disturbed right wing nut job and had abandoned Chadwick in 2003 during his final deployment to Iraq on account of his erratic and bizarre behavior (which doesn't explain her subsequent marriage to him but there's no accounting for taste or mental stability in either gender). And both husband and wife, despite the former settling into a new job in a new home in a new country, always seem to have time to try to post sneering, insulting comments on my blog like two malcontents on a playground (I delete them unread).
     Now, Mr. Nguyen, it's became readily apparent to me that you are dealing with an individual that somehow manages to function somewhere between the idiot and moron levels on the Terman IQ index. This is an individual who is so willfully ignorant and lacking in substantive cognitive thinking that he's unaware that:
     #1 Naming a copyrighted motion picture in a project intended to make money is plainly a violation of DMCA and
     #2 No one in their right mind attempts a parody of a parody (Which BIRDEMIC is). But then again, no one of any appreciable intellect ever accused either Chadwick twin of being in their right mind.
     Now he's caterwauling on his blog, using all the appropriate dramatic syntax his shriveled brain can muster, about how you've "declared war" on his book, which is in itself a knockoff of a concept by Best Brains, Inc, the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (and a violation of copyright that I am amazed has also not been sued into a richly-deserved oblivion). He's also bandying about words such as "bullying", "censor" and even "threaten". Apparently, when Chadwick bullies others and attempts to tank their book sales, that's all good and well but when he tip toes into my world, he screams like a titty-twisted, hysterical little bitch. Like a typical right winger, he can dish it out but he can't take it. When it happens to him, suddenly it's persecution.
     And, despite inexplicably getting a six figure publishing contract and staff job from some obscure Israeli publisher (by his account, at any rate), he's also trying to solicit donations from his readership to make up for the book sales you're allegedly costing him by convincing Amazon and Blurb to remove his plainly illegal Mystery Science Storybook.
     Here's my proposal: I would like to help you in any way I can, whatever your ultimate aim. As they say, the enemy of mine enemy is my friend and we seem to have someone in common we'd both like to take down. Please email me at your earliest convenience so we can discuss a strategy in dealing with this reanimated gargoyle. I have a lot of personal information about him, including his current IP address and street address in Tel Aviv as well as a treasure trove of other information that may be of some use to your legal team. I await your response, Mr. Nguyen.

Sincerely,

Robert Crawford

1 Comments:

At September 7, 2016 at 3:11 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Now Chadwick's crowing about victory just because 15 days have gone by since Nguyen sent him that cease & desist letter. This is what I think of Cheese Dick's victory lap. Somehow, I get the feeling this comment won't get blog owner's approval.

"Wow. What an unhinged masterpiece of rhetoric, Jailbird Joe. And what an original subtitle! "An Open Letter to James Nguyen." Or is it? Hm, sounds familiar. Or maybe that's another one of your trademarked "parodies"? Or is it an homage?

And, to quote your own words, "let's me real": If you had any right to claim victory, then your shitty, derivative right wing propaganda would still be for sale on the internet and you wouldn't even now be trying to beg money from a dwindling readership to whom you STILL haven't divulged the news of your six figure contract. Six figures yet you're still trying to beg $300 from dupes on Patreon, a sum I'm sure you could find in the crack of your pasty ass.

But even if Nguyen doesn't follow through on his lawsuit, I'll make sure I alert every single copyright holder whose rights you've also violated for commercial reasons such as Shout!Factory and Warner Brothers. Then it's on to the WWE, Sony Pictures and many others.

"I would kindly invite you to leave me the hell alone. Get on with your life and I'll get on with mine."

Welcome to my world, bitch, the world you chose to put and keep me in. Doesn't feel nice, does it?"

 

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