Thursday, May 24, 2018

Gotham City Digest: The Gimp is Loose edition

     Donald Trump is the Gimp of the GOP, evangelicals and especially Putin's Russia, no doubt about it. And the news coming out of the beltway is, as usual, not very encouraging.

     Well, after all that superficial, play it fast and loose hoopla about the June 12 Singapore summit between Trump and Kim Jong Un, it looks as if it won't take place, after all. In a masterpiece of projection, Donnie Dumbo, aka the "Dotard", blamed Kim Jong Un for "tremendous anger and open hostility." Yes, the guy who called Un "Little Rocket Man" several times, including at the UN General Assembly, is calling out Kim Jong Un for acting like a flaccid dick. For good measure, he once again bragged about the size of his penis nuclear arsenal.

     Oh well. I guess we can still use the Treasury Department's hasty commemorative medallion as the world's most expensive pog.

     I guess one of the risks of draining the swamp is when all the water sinks underground, it creates sink holes like the one that appeared in Mar-a-Lago last summer during Trump's first Big Boy trip. Except this one is at the White House and it's getting bigger by the day.

     Donald Trump essentially has two focuses in his so-called administration- Fending off Robert Mueller and erasing everything the black guy before him did. That includes the watered down regulations and bills signed into law by Obama and even web pages lauding the Obama administration on FEMA's website. Back in the old days, when a tyrant replaced another one, this was what happened- Statues were torn down, temples destroyed, cartouches chiseled out, the last tyrant disavowed. Nowadays, deleting web pages belonging to the American people are deleted.

     Meanwhile, Trump's little snitch Devon Nunes, the chair of the (ha ha) House Intelligence Committee, has some 'splainin' to do. It seems his principle asset is in a winery in California that a few years ago hosted a sex party on a yacht (you know, the kind Trump loves to talk about with little boys). Only, this one involved cocaine and quite possibly under-aged sex workers. Apparently, the fat, greasy fucks who took part in this coke-fueled sex orgy were Alpha Omega's top investors... just like Devon Nunes. And while there's no evidence as yet that Nunes took part in it, it seems awfully suspicious to say the least that everywhere Trump and his cronies go, illicit sex and scumbags just seem to follow them like Pig Pen's dust cloud.

     Breaking: Man who met with Russian spies in infamous Trump Tower meeting and had lied on security clearance form several times has security clearance restored even after two meetings with Mueller. There is no hope whatsoever for this government. Doesn't that just heighten your sense of security knowing you could get fired from a minimum wage job at McDonald's for lying on your application once but if you're Jared Kushner and do it several times, you're still privy to virtually every national security secret the government has to offer?

     Of course he rolled back the water-logged Dodd-Frank, the piece of shit. The last people you want to piss off are your own money launderers.

     Remember when hipsters and Millennials thought Elon Musk was this hip, cool new type of businessman? Turns out he's just another job-killing, union-busting billionaire asshole straight out of the 19th century. May this cocksucker crash and burn like one of his Space X  rockets.

     Ever wonder what a billionaire Stepford wife would look and sound like? Look no further than Betsy fucking DeVos. DeVos was shoehorned in as Education Secretary for one reason and one reason only- To make charter schools even richer than they are, ignore concerns from students and Attorneys General while empowering banks, bigots and rapists. Her comedy routine on Capitol Hill this week proved that.

     Gee, who knew the presidency was nothing more than a spiritual deodorant? Yes, on the ironically-named Wallbuilders Live radio show, carnival barker and amateur historian David Barton actually said, “When we say Trump’s position and values, those were all in a former life. I’ve seen nothing in this administration to indicate a lack of good morals, quite frankly.” And quite frankly, Barton, you're a stupid asshole. And what's been lost on Barton, and everyone else, apparently, is that while Trump is busy dismissing news stories of his sexual peccadillos as "fake news", Barton essentially admitted Trump was a horn dog... up until right after he took the reins of power. Voila, spiritual deodorant. Of course, we now know the reason evangelical nut bags like Barton will never waver in their support of him- They see him as the useful idiot who will bring about the End of Days, after which (so their Master Plan claims), they'll get to convert the remaining 144,000 Jews to their religion. And finally...

     So, the old, white billionaires who make up Trump's base and for years strenuously ignored concussions, steroid use and domestic violence decide this is the hill they want to die on. The NFL is racist, plain and simple. Every player should go on strike after this, starting with the mandatory workouts in June. Of course, Trump agrees with this plainly illegal decision, which is a clear violation of the First Amendment.


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