Welcome Back to Pottersville: Gotham City Digest, 9/22/18

Where we promise to never menacingly flare our combovers at you.

"Well, we've just barely begun investigating why the Democrats' truck was shot while she still in it in her driveway but we think it was random." This is what passes for police work in Colorado.

The headline: "Father and son charged with killing man over fight about trash." Yes, they stood their ground over a mattress in a Dumpster. Now they're out on just $25,000 cash bond. Pretty soon, The Purge won't be a dramatic series. It'll be a reality TV show.

You'd think right wingers would know better by now- You boycott a product over some perceived slight and social media picks up on it, all it's going to do is elevate that brand or product;s visibility and make it more appealing to progressive-minded people. Well, you'd be wrong. Since Nike announced they were making Colin Kaepernick the face of their product line on Labor Day, their share price has skyrocketed 36%, thereby adding $6 billion to their market value. But, please go on and keep burning your Nike products for which Nike already got paid.

Besides comic relief, can anyone tell me why we're still listening to Alan Doucheowitz? Because "Democrats" like this guy we don't need on our side. And, uh, if "men and women forget", then how come Dr. Blasey Ford still vividly remembers her attempted rape at the hands of Brett Kavanaugh after 36 years?

If any hairstyle should be illegal, it ought to be Trump's bizarre, comical comb over. How much you want to bet if dreads were more popular among white people, this company wouldn't've made it a violation of their grooming code?

In the nearly 14 years since I began blogging, I've always liked Tom Hartmann and this highly erudite article is one of the reasons why.

Shorter DeSantis campaign contributor: "Well, yes, I called Obama a nigger but I'm not racist." What is this, the 4th, 5th, 6th accusation of racism dogging DeSantis? I've lost count. 5th, I think.

I have to laugh when I hear Republicans complaining about left wing partisanship. This is the sordid story of Mike Davis, who deleted a bunch of ill-timed tweets after admitting his boss Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee. was "unfazed" by the sexual assault allegations against Kavanaugh. So don't you dare tell me there's no Republican War on Women.

Sam Patten pleads guilty to diverting foreign funds to Trump's Tiny Inaugural fund. Damn, another witch got water thrown on him.

Shorter Kavanaugh: "I wasn't at that party... wherever it was."

For those of you who thought "Affluenza" was ridiculous, now there's "outercourse." Yes, that's the defense convicted rapist Brock Turner's shyster tried to use before a three judge appeals panel. One judge actually told him that he had no idea what he was talking about.

I knew he couldn't shut the fuck up about this for long. He really doesn't give two shits about Kavanaugh, only the cover he can give him from the bench of the Supreme Court. And he's fighting tooth and nail not for Kavanaugh's credibility, but his own. As if that exists.

I know I mentioned this some time last month but it absolutely bears repeating. $20,000,000 was moved around by one of Trump's Russian oligarch buddies just six days before the infamous Trump Tower meeting June of 2016. Now Mueller's investigating that, too.

Remember Harriet Miers, the dimwit nominated by Bush to be on the Supreme Court, the one whose nomination crashed and burned when it was revealed she knew little to nothing about Constitutional law? Even she scored higher approval ratings than "Hold 'Er Down" Brett.

I don't know what in Zeus' butthole the NY TIMES was thinking in writing much less running this piece. This just feeds into Trump's Deep State fever dreams and gives him the perfect ammunition with which to fire Rosenstein. Rosenstein's really the only bulwark in the DOJ protecting Mueller and his investigation. Now all Trump has to do is install one of his partisan hacks to replace Rosenstein and the first thing that asshole will do, secretly on Trump's orders, is fire Mueller. That would automatically trigger a Congressional investigation and, in a GOP-controlled Congress, you know how THAT's gonna play out.

Seriously, there is in journalism some stories you wish they could unwrite and this is so incredibly one of them.

You know you've gone 'round the bend and are one skeevy cocksucker when all six of your siblings actively campaign against you.

     "Did the defendant strangle the victim into unconsciousness after threatening her life then jerk off all over her?"
     "Guilty as charged, your honor."
     "Okee dokeyl You're free to go."

There's a reason so many scumbag Republican males are endorsing and defending Kavanaugh- They see a like-minded spirit. This is a story about another Chuck Grassley aide who was recently forced to quit his post his own antics with women came to light. Maybe we should check into the histories of all these men to see if there's any skeletons in their closet (Well, except for Lindsey Graham. I don't think you'll find a single woman in his past, ifyouknowwhatImean.).

The Cabinet is supposed to enact the President's agenda on a wide range of issues. But not one so narrow and heartless as this. ICE has already essentially stolen $10 million from FEMA, now they're trying to defund cancer research and Head Start to fund these Joe Arpaio tent prisons. Because imprisoning innocent children is much more important than educating them or treating their cancer.

Brett Kavanaugh's turning into a lightning rod for federal hypocrisy of sexual accountability and that's a good thing. The GOP's rallying around Kavanaugh, an accused attempted rapist, and are ready to rake over the coals one of his victims. That alone tells you everything you need to know about how particularly vitriolic is the hypocrisy on the Republican side.

Rock-ribbed conservative Republican family values, as only the Trump administration can deliver them! I've heard of skeeves slipping date rape drugs into women's drinks but abortion pills after they got them pregnant during an affair behind their wive's backs? Well, that's what former top Trump aide Jason Miller allegedly did according to court records filed by his estranged wife.

OK, if the FBI won't investigate this creep, this guy will.

     It's perfectly normal and acceptable to look into a political opponent's history. That's called "opposition research." But when someone does this to a person who's accused another of rape, it just comes off as looking creepy. And this is exactly what Ed Whelan did when he began stalking Dr. Blasey Ford on her LinkedIn account.
   To give you a rough run down of the timeline, here's what happened:
     9/16 - Whelan starts research after WaPo names Ford to WH pre-publication.
     9/17 - Kavanaugh suggests mistaken identity to Hatch, WSJ editorializes.
     9/18 - Whelan predicts Kavanaugh vindication.
     9/19 - Orrin Hatch flunky: “keep eye on Ed’s tweets.”
     9/20 - Whelan names classmate. Get the picture now? And finally...

You know what they say about right wingers who are obsessed with gay sex. I'd say the same applies to this right wing Christian evangelical who can't stop talking about oral sex, in which straight people don't indulge, donchaknow?