Be Careful What You Wish For...

 

     I think we know how the rest of that goes.

     With the exception of Blake Masters, who by far is the creepiest-looking candidate out of all the Arizona hopefuls, Republicans are pitching a fit that would've been worthy of my four year-old stepdaughter back in 1994.

     Because while Senate hopeful Masters is patiently awaiting the final tally, the rest, especially Mark Finchem, Abe Hamadeh and Kari Lake, are acting out like toddlers at a Toys 'R' Us.

    

     That was an actual tweet that was put out by Mark Finchem about a day after the polls closed in Arizona. Mark was all bent out of shape because he wasn't given a clear path in fucking up every election in favor of Republicans. They seem to have a problem with impulse control because local ballot counters hadn't immediately tallied every vote in the Grand Canyon state, including Maricopa County, the largest in the state, that boasts 2.1 million registered voters.

     But there's a reason why it's taking so long to count the ballots and Republicans only have to stare in a mirror to see who the culprits are.

     That's right. You see, taking a cue from Mango Mussolini in Mar il Legal, Republicans had gotten on the anti drop-box bandwagon and told their voters to drop them off at the polling places in person. After all, "ballot harvesting" can't be trusted and certainly not those drop boxes. Douche D'Souza said so in 2000 Mules! So here's what they did after the 2020 election:

     They demanded that all Republican absentee ballots be dropped off at the polling places themselves.

     In 2020, 175,000 such ballots were delivered on Election Day. This year? 290,000, not including another 80,000 that were dropped off in the 72 hours before election day. And it was all on Republican initiatives.

     In short, they only have themselves to blame for this. Give the counters more ballots to count, expect longer delays. This was all in the name of electoral transparency and integrity, right, guys? You don't hear Katie Hobbs and the other Democrats whining about it, do you?

     But, because Kari Lake is getting frustrated watching those still-suspended balloons getting more deflated by the minute, the Iowa native called Arizona, the state she wants to run, a "banana republic" and vowed to call a special session before she's even named governor and when that same legislature is due to convene a week after the new governor is inaugurated.

     You'd think this wouldn't be lost on a man running for Secretary of State, another running for Attorney General and a woman running for Governor. But these are Republican meatheads we're talking about, ergo people who want the rules changed for them even though their party is the one who'd made those rules.