The Third Rail

     One of my earliest memories was when my family and I lived in what was then West Germany. It was either during or just after the Kennedy administration and we lived on or adjacent to land owned by a blind German farmer. My father had just gotten a Doberman puppy we named King and King, let's say, had a mind of his own.      

     This particular memory was the aftermath of something that King had done. This blind farmer raised white rabbits that, for some reason, he never kept in a warren and instead allowed to run around free. One day, King ran into his property and slaughtered and ate every single rabbit in his yard. My memory is of my father putting an endless series of deutsche marks into the farmer's open palm by way of compensation that took place in this open field of bloody, still, white clumps of fur.      

     I seem to recall that King wasn't quite fully grown so he couldn't have been a year-old. But my father had a great love for that dog. He trained him to be a watchdog (as opposed to an attack dog) but he never seemed to seriously entertain the option of obedience training. When we left West Germany and moved to Tampa, Florida in the spring of 1965, my father continued letting King run around the neighborhood loose and he'd come home at the crack of dawn reeking of other peoples' garbage.      

     At no time did my father discipline him or mistreat him in any way. Yes, he could have put King in for obedience training or rehomed him but he didn't. We were dog lovers, all of us, and we accepted King's flaws. He did a wonderful job protecting our family and property and he more than earned his place in our family.      

     I began thinking of King's mass murder of that blind farmer's lagomorphs when I read what South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem had written in her upcoming Vice Presidential audition script carefully disguised as an autobiography. At one point, she'd written,       

     “I hated that dog... she was dangerous to anyone she came in contact with... less than worthless … as a hunting dog. (She went) out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life. (Cricket) grabbed one chicken at a time, crunching it to death with one bite, then dropping it to attack another... (like) a trained assassin. (She) whipped around to bite me... At that moment, I realized I had to put her down.” 

     The Guardian goes on: "Noem said she retrieved her gun and led Cricket to a gravel pit. 'It was not a pleasant job, but it had to be done. And after it was over, I realized another unpleasant job needed to be done.' She then recounts how she killed one of her family's goats, a 'nasty and mean' male that had not been castrated, by dragging him to the gravel pit, and afterward she realized a nearby construction crew had watched her slaughter both animals before her children were dropped off by a school bus. 'Kennedy looked around confused,' Noem wrote, describing her daughter's reaction. “Hey, where’s Cricket?'” 'I guess if I were a better politician,' she added, 'I wouldn’t tell the story here'.”

     Noem obviously is not a better politician any more than she was any good at animal husbandry. Of course, being the typical, rigid-minded Nazi she is, she took to social media when passages from her book came out to double down and she had this to say on Twitter:

     "The fact is, South Dakota law states that dogs who attack and kill livestock can be put down. Given that Cricket had shown aggressive behavior toward people by biting them, I decided what I did. Whether running the ranch or in politics, I have never passed on my responsibilities to anyone else to handle. Even if it’s hard and painful. I followed the law and was being a responsible parent, dog owner, and neighbor. As I explained in the book, it wasn't easy. But often the easy way isn't the right way."      

     And often, the legal way isn't always the right way, either. Or humane. (And, considering her scandals of late, Noem claiming to know the law is highly suspect, at best).

     The mystery is why Noem thought it was a good idea to put this horrible anecdote in her book, to begin with. And how come her publisher didn't flag it and demand it be removed?

     As stated, the prevailing opinion is that Noem's autobiography is nothing more or less than a bloated job application to be Trump's running mate. Perhaps Noem is all too aware of Trump's hatred of dogs (a hatred that's reciprocal, to say the least.). Perhaps, as a CNN panel theorized, Noem thought putting this horrific story in her book was a surefire way of getting on Trump's good side.

     What she doesn't seem to understand is that Trump is the ultimate weather vane. If being attached to somebody who's even momentarily radioactive hurts him in any way, shape and form, Trump will drop them like a 300 degree turd.

     And part of the reason for the backlash isn't just the story itself but how she'd told it. "I hated that dog". Then she admitted shooting the poor creature in the face. This wasn't a merciful act of euthanasia as she's now trying to paint it. It was an openly sadistic act of rage. The dog wasn't serving its purpose so it got summary execution. Shooting a person or animal in the face betrays loathing, a deep-seated hatred that most of us never feel. It wasn't enough to murder the pooch for not being of use to her- She wanted it to suffer in its final moments. To slightly paraphrase Adam Serwer, "the cruelty was the point."

     And shooting and abusing dogs is apparently one of the very last third rails that's still capable of eliciting a strong emotional reaction from those across the political spectrum. Now, it would be fallacious to say that all Republicans hate dogs. I'm sure there are quite a few of them who love their dogs as much and as unconditionally as liberals love theirs (Like Joe Concha but more on him in a minute).

     But it can't be argued that, while not all Republicans hate dogs, it seems those in public service who profess a hatred of them tend to be exclusively Republicans. We still not so fondly remember the Mitt Romney/Seamus incident or Mike Huckabee's son killing a dog. Then there was Rick Perry's candid admission that he'd once shot a coyote.

     This is part and parcel to the paranoid, right wing mindset- If they perceive danger, shoot and ask questions later.

     But, again, if Noem thought admitting shooting her pup in the face, followed by a goat, was going to earn brownie points with Trump, she's got another think coming. Trump watches everything on Fox and I'm sure he was listening when Joe Concha just today said on Fox Business, "This story, Ashley, as a dog owner my whole life, absolutely makes my blood boil on two levels,. How utterly heartless do you have to be to shoot a 14-month-old dog in the face? I can guarantee you many people would have raised their hand to take that dog in. You just don't go ahead and murder it." 

     For good measure, Noem was also raked over the coals seconds later by former congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah): "I give her an A+ for being honest about it. But she just destroyed her political career."

      I think Chaffetz just wrote her political obituary: "Kristi Noem: She flew too close to the sun and fell on the ash heap of obscurity. Or gravel pit, as it were."