A Week in the Life of George W. Mitty

In a show of solidarity with the under- and uninsured, George W. Bush eschews new bifocals in lieu of getting his arms stretched.


When it comes to handling economic crises, it could be literally as well as figuratively said that Bush is considerably behind the curve.


"Honor, integrity, transparency? Did you idiots actually fall for that?"


After four visits to Iraq, George W. Bush finally found those WMDs. They were both a size ten.


Darfur Human Rights Activist Dr. Halima Bashir was reportedly in such fear for her safety even in the White House that she hid her face. What Dr. Bashir was too diplomatic to say was that moreso than fear, her decision to hide her face was predicated more in chagrin.


A perpetual squint and mental myopia are indispensable to seeing a shining legacy.


The only way to work up enthusiasm among these military kids was to tell them they were meeting Alfred E. Neuman.


George W. Bush announces to the amazement of all that for the last year of his presidency, his person has been replaced with his portrait at Cabinet meetings and press conferences.


In this modern day version of the Portrait of Dorian Grey, the model and the painting remain unchanged while the country gets more and more decrepit.


George W. Bush punts Iraq, Afghanistan, the War on Terror, the subprime crisis and a looming depression to Barack Obama downfield.