I Could Just See This Now

If the current economic and unemployment trends and Craigslist were around in the antebellum days, this is what we would've seen:

Wanted: Year-round agricultural workers for the cotton fields. New invention by Eli Whitney has produced an explosion for new agricultural talent throughout the Deep South. Get onto this exciting ground floor opportunity working with fascinating white men who will vigorously encourage you to live up to your working potential and rape your women. Excellent opportunity for possible future position in sharecropping.

Hours: From sun to sun M-F, all weekends and holidays.

Requirements: Must show ability to lift and carry up to 50 lb. bags of cotton and work bent over for at least 12 hours a day. Drug screening/CORI mandatory. Must be ignorant of Nat Turner's rebellion, know the lessons of the Dred Scott Supreme Court decision and have extremely thick skin on back and fingertips. The ability to sadly sing ballads in the fields and around the plantation. Prior experience with agricultural textiles A MUST, especially as regards cotton. 1st grade education mandatory, anything more a plus. Travel may be involved and the ability to continue working at optimum efficiency if and when family gets sold and separated. Must know the finer points of making mint juleps.

* Location: Da Plantation
* Compensation: "Compensation"? What's that, boy? Nonprofit, remember?
* This is at a non-profit organization.