Please Recycle. I Do.

     Sorry I haven't been posting of late, guys. It's not as if I'm not aware of what's going on in the Ukraine and Palestine and, the biggest news of all, Lebron's return to Cleveland and Jon Lester's trade to Oakland. But this revision of Tatterdemalion's still kicking my ass and I still have more than 30,000 words to excise before I can even think of resubmitting it to that agency that'd asked for it last March. If it's any consolation, I haven't invested much time this summer on Twitter, either. These are some of my more noteworthy tweets from the last three weeks.

Fortunately, Orlando Bloom didn't actually punch Justin Bieber in the mouth. Just think of all that cock that would go unsucked. #p2 #p21.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 30, 2014

It's now obvious that Israel could set up concentration camps for Palestinians with gas ovens & all Obama would do is cluck his tongue. #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 30, 2014

Two and a Half Year Term. #PalinTVShows
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 28, 2014

Mad About Everything. #PalinTVShows
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 28, 201

This Old House Can See Russia. #PalinTVShows
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 28, 2014

The Wasilla Hillbillies. #PalinTVShows
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 28, 2014

Once you accept the world is run by well-dressed psychopaths & the corporate media'sb is to be their apologists, then all makes sense.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 28, 2014

To whom it may concern: Please stop stealing our jumbo jetliners. They're wicked expensive. Signed, the planet Earth
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 24, 2014

I wonder if Ken Ham knows how close he is to writing on walls with his own fecal matter? #creationists http://t.co/JYEWOtBwZC
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 21, 2014

#InGodWeTrust For the rest of you, roll up your 4th Amendment and go fuck yourself up the ass with it. . Love, The NSA
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 21, 2014

It's hilarious that millions are furious over Facebook's emotional manipulation when the gov't & corporations have been at it for decades.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 21, 2014

We should be commemorating the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing. Instead, we're commemorating the #AuroraTheaterShooting. #gunsense
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 20, 2014

I just realized that all #cats have Asperger's.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 18, 2014

You just know that secretly, all #RWNJs want to be Michael Richards & scream at the top of their lungs, "HE'S A NIGGER, HE'S A NIGGER!" #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 17, 2014

#Teabaggers outside our local Dunkin' Donuts today in Hudson, MA. Business isn't too brisk, as you can see. #p2 #p21 pic.twitter.com/qOd3DzTBf6
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 17, 2014

Redneck America mourns the death of Johnny Winter because he was the whitest man in North America.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 17, 2014

This is what I found on my laptop this morning. I guess my cat thought my mouse was lonely. #cats pic.twitter.com/jG9fTgmjak
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 17, 2014

I for one am getting sick & tired of hockey dads like Cheney & Glenn Beck being allowed to masquerade as pundits. #gofuckyourselves #RWNJs
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 17, 2014

Rolfing Rush Limbaugh. #BadSummerJobs
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 16, 2014

What's going on in #Gaza is David vs Goliath, except Goliath has all the slings & all David has is a handful of rocks to throw. #FuckIsrael
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 14, 2014

Before we allow @CNN and other media dummies to set the narrative, keep this in mind: Hamas doesn't have war planes, war ships OR nukes.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 14, 2014

Words can't express how ashamed I am to live in a nation where Lebron returning to Cleveland is bigger news than Israel bombing Palestine.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) July 11, 2014