Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Should a Woodhead Chuck "Would"?

     Remember 20 years ago when Bill Clinton nauseated the nation by trying to parse the definition of the word "is?" "What is is?" he asked before a Congressional committee. Now we're debating over what Trump really meant regarding the Russia probe and whether he meant to say "would" or "wouldn't".
     I think the bigger issue is us debating over what he meant since the words "would" and "wouldn't" are polar opposites and that this walking brain stem masquerading as the president doesn't actually know the difference. The bigger issue is that the "president" is such a fucking incurious oaf he can't even be bothered to spell certain words correctly.
     What you see above is a screengrab of Trump's prepared remarks taken by the NY Times and shown on Chris Cuomo's show that someone snuck under his snout yesterday. As usual, Trump decided to go off script and remind himself, as if he himself hasn't mastered the lie, that "there was no colusion."
     Yes, he couldn't even spell that word correctly. You'd think, of all the words in the Goddamned English language, he'd know how to spell that one correctly since he uses it far more frequently than he does his wife's name or that of any other member of his family.
     And today the press corps was treated to the sight of Sarah Huckabee Sanders telling the media that when Trump said "No" when asked if he thought Russia hacked our 2016 election that what he really meant was "No, as in No, I'm not going to answer any more questions."
     So we're left with three choices- That this Manchurian Candidate puppet actually doesn't know the difference between antonyms, that he's lying through his teeth or he honestly doesn't even know what the truth is, any more because he's already well into dementia.
     Of course, the scariest answer is that all three could be correct.
     "Do you think Russia interfered with the 2016 election?"
     "I don't see any reason why they would."
     And we're left idiotically debating whether he meant that or the antonym "wouldn't", a distinction you'd reasonably expect of a child in elementary school, let alone the most powerful man in the free world.
     He meant what he'd originally said in Finland when he said, "I don't see any reason why they would."
     Except this time Donald Trump has an excellent reason for lying.
     I don't know who'd arranged that Helsinki Summit but one gets the impression it was Putin pulling the strings affixed to all four of Trump's chubby limbs. It would explain why Trump rushed to Helsinki right after Scotland without a word of explanation as to what the summit was to be about. If so, it was a master stroke of a move for Putin.
     Why?
     Putin knew the media would ask about Russia's interference in the 2016 general election, especially after the Mueller probe issued another 12 indictments naming 12 of Putin's most senior military intelligence officials.
     OK, so you're Vlad Putin and you have Donald Trump standing next to you, knowing the press would ask if Russia meddled in our last election. Putin stuck in Trump's tiny little hand a two-headed coin. Whether or not he knew of any collusion between Russia and he and his campaign (and he surely would have to know), both sides of the coin say the same thing. No, there was no collusion.
     It was a classic trap, a win-win for Russia and a lose-lose for America. Either Trump lies about the collusion and says there was none or...
     ...he has to admit there was collusion thereby invalidating and neutering his entire term of office.
     And, really, what do you reasonably expect a prolific liar like Trump to say? He either had to throw his entire intelligence apparatus under the bus or admit to the world that Hillary was cut off at the knees (and the poor woman has a hard enough time staying on her pins, to begin with) and that he's not legitimately the president.
     Those were his two choices. And maybe that's what he was thinking as he sat and stood looking like a man about to walk the last mile down Death Row. Perhaps he mentioned the emails and the "missing" server because he knows in his tiny heart of hearts that she won and he did not.

     Ladies and gentlemen, that is the look of a man who is forced to decide what is the best way to eat a shit sandwich, with or without the crust.
     Those were his choices- Either side with a dictator who's as big a fucking liar as he or admit he's a fake president.
     Which, of course, he is.

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